Reply To Sargon From An "Incel"

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This is probably the first video on this topic I've listened to where the presenter is making an incredible amount of sense, that and practically speaking my life experience. One thing that really struck a chord was some of the feedback he got - ie. nothing fundamentally wrong with him but his looks and personality don't match in such a way that the women who would be interested in his looks wouldn't like his personality and the ones who'd be interested in his personality wouldn't look twice at him because he doesn't look like their type. I had some really awful repeat experiences through my early 20's of having, at least once a month while working in a college town, a new girl every month sizing me up and then hating me or feeling salty (not acting a whole lot different either way) when she got the sense that she'd tripped over an asymmetry. He also mentions people having a tendency to ignore him, often, when there's no good social reason to even be rude - like greeters at stores and the like.

I've had a theory for quite a while that most socializing isn't in words and isn't in rote social skills, it's in the micro-nuances of your body language. You have a very loquacious gas station clerk amicably chatting up every customer, as far as you're used to you're actually standing there calmly or subtly trying not to look downcast, and when it gets to be your turn at the counter they sort of gape as if something's wrong. I told a guy about this a few years back - it's like someone people and their body language, or looks-personality asymmetries, just cause people's subconscious processes to blue-screen. When that happens they don't know what it is, they just know how they feel and quite often that feeling is 'I don't like / don't trust this person'. If it's like that there's no self-improvement that can save you, you'd just about need your brain transplanted in a body that people felt was more congruent with how you operate.

Anyway, while I don't feel like should need to state the obvious I'll do it anyway - it's 2019 and there isn't much trust. The conversation seeming one-sided is only by virtue of a heterosexual male (the presenter, as well as myself) presenting experience relevant to themselves. I'm sure a bisexual guy experiencing this would have much more well-rounded criticisms of both men and women, just that if you're not in that space you can't really speak to what you don't know.

Aside from that I will say his analysis of Sargon was maybe only the last 7 to 10 minutes. A lot of the conversation before that I thought was quite insightful and, again, hearing this from someone whose coming at this from a particularly thoughtful angle. He puts 'Incel' in scare-quotes as he notes that as of lately and as the incel culture has been associated with toxicity the people who don't want anything to do with that but find themselves permanently single or single for unusually long stretches of time are identifying themselves as FA's, or which stands for forever alone.

Anyway apologies if that was a long pre-amble, I just thought I'd share some of the reasons I thought it was a good watch and also boiler plate things a bit so people couldn't go on diatribes about 'incel' being in the title and didn't even read any of the above which is sadly common in PPR - not sure about here but I've often heard L&D is comparable for short fuses.

Who is Sargon? Sounds like a Tolkein character.

Sargon was king of the Akkadian Empire circa 2000 BC. He was an historical person.

Doesn’t he look like Benedict Cumberbatch somehow?

I find this video accurate.
The people who don't get into relationships usually have problems beyond that that come from far in the past, namely stunted emotional growth/lack of life experience due to dysfunctional and abusive childhoods and lack of a social circle.
Depression and such things are usually the result of this life, not the cause of it. At least not initially.

He just did a commentary on Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam, and it rhymes with the video I posted earlier in that he's suggesting Incels and FA's aren't just an autonomous problem but 'canaries in the coalmine' for what happens if our culture keeps atomizing.

Well, yea, community networks and family have declined and people are more isolated, but I think the problem is not technology itself (similarly to drugs, I think it's a problem of the people) and I think the possible bad outcomes are exaggerated.

But what I really like is the idea that the welfare state makes people less dependent on one another (that's not to say that there aren't negative aspects to dependence as well).
From the first video, the man has talked about people being more "out only for themselves", saying that they befriend people depending on their utility to them, yet they don't really need anyone for the bare-bones survival things more than the state.
Of course, when you don't have to rely on anyone there is FAR less (not necessarily zero but low) incentive to commit to anything or anyone, because there isn't a lot of reward in doing so.

It was rather dismaying to see people like Sargon join UKIP - and also seeing him allude to sexual assault re a prominent UK Shadow Cabinet member...