It’s driving me crazy...

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Last time (last Friday) I was with my girlfriend it was all fine and we had an intimate time, she was showering me loving texts afterwards as usually, her words of love weree so intense.

... we’ve been together since 27/3/17.

Her life been problematic lately, long story, stress, 7 days work a week... hint: she had been an illegant immigrant since a while.

Yesterday she just texted me that she feels nothing toward me anymore. I asked her why she says she doesn’t know. I freaked out and called her and she she was crying and bumbled about wanting to focus on her work so she can return home. And that she just feels “emptiness”.

Texted me also today telling me literally: “I am sorry, I no longer lover you, I hope you will understand and forgive me one day”.
If only she tells me why and what I did to turn her off.

I don’t understand ... is it really possible for someone for whatever reason to stop loving their lover just like that? In a mere less than a week? Does this really happen?

Here's yet another guy that has been left in the dust by a woman with no obvious explanation. I'm so sorry this happened. Idk why people can't just tell their SO what is making them uncomfortable and give them an opprotunity to change that before they leave them.

holy crap, i am so sorry to hear this!

from all of your posts about her, things seemed so great for you two...

i have no advice... i just know she was special to you and feel bad that she left you in such a way.

I haven’t had that happen in a relationship, but I have had good friends disappear on me abruptly, never to be seen or heard from again

Maybe she's lying cause she thinks you'll be better of without her.
Maybe she was feeling this way for a while and only just now found the courage to tell you.
Maybe she has some other issues going on that you don't know about, perhaps a mental one, so she's not thinking clearly.
Maybe she's doing this to protect you from something.

If you're sure you haven't done anything wrong, then I'd say it's worth trying to sort this out or at least get her to explain why. "I don't know" isn't an answer. You don't not know why you stop loving someone.

It sounds like she's depressed.
Often depressed people will self-sabotage, thinking they don't deserve love etc.
It also explains the numbness, emptiness, etc

Not if it was real feelings. Could be depression, but if it isn't, she must have faked her loving feelings last week, and even further back than that.

The problem with that is the only person worth changing for is yourself. If you have to change someone in order to want them, do you really want them? If you have to change for someone else, are you really being sincere? What if you knew that you could be with someone who was exactly the person you wanted to be with the moment you first met? Wouldn’t you want your mate to also love you for YOU and never have any desire to change you?

People, and I think we notice this more with women, tend to want that person to be THAT PERSON. If you have to change something about that person, you don’t really love them for who they are. So rather than asking them to change, or rather than telling them what went wrong, it’s easier to just move on and wish them the best. Y’know, the old “it’s not you, it’s me” routine.

Boo, I’m sorry that happened to you. I do think everyone deserves an explanation. But it might very well be a safer bet assuming answers will rarely if ever be forthcoming. I say we file this under “she wasn’t good enough for you and she knew it” and close the case.

I’m sorry Boo. I suspect Raleigh is right. Depression can make you see everything backwards. In regard to her immigration status, would she have been found out and told to leave? She may think it’s less painful for you to break it off this way, rather than have you longing for her if she has to leave.

^ She would be arrested and jailed for 3 months before deporting her. She bumbled a story of a local guy getting in trouble for being with someone in the same situation.

Never, ever, ever freak out on a girl when she tells you something like that. All that will do is confirm to her that she made the right choice. Emotions can be fickle and we fall in and out of love. When a girl goes for a break up, just say "I'm sorry you feel that way"

Her roommate whistle-blown to me that she sounds cheerful as always, doesn’t really look sad.

I am starting to suspect there’s another guy, the driver who’s driving her back and forth to her new job / home(she started working in this since 2 weeks), she(my ex) herself told me earlier he tried to ask her out, a week ago. There's also a police officer who got interested in her as well. Why would she even tell me all that.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 17 Jan 2019, 2:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

So she was worried about you!

I am not much convinced, sounds like trying hard to find an excuse.

She finally spilled the beans.





I've been exchanged with another man, for better benefits. Just like that.

How am I gonna trust any relationship in the future after this? She kept telling me "I love you" many times, for almost 2 years, every single day, where all this has gone?

Whoa, that's freaking harsh.
She loves you but you're not useful to her in the way she needs so you're forfeit.
I have no idea how you could trust again after that.