Piobaire wrote:
Who my mate might have been in the past is nowhere near as interesting and relevant to me as who they have become; who they are in this present moment. How much information about your past that you have to disclose largely depends upon how authentic and transparent you want your relationship to be. Healthy relationships are based upon a foundation of two things; one, scrupulous honesty; without honesty, how can we ever trust one another? The other is respect; respect for one another's boundaries, and that includes not pushing each other where they don't want to go; particularly past hurts and failures. We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are; all of who we are; will you ever feel truly secure in your relationship keeping secrets, or will you always feel insecure; always fearing rejection if they only knew? This is a double-edged sword, too; be very careful of asking questions of your partner which you really don't want to know the answer to. I'm willing to answer any question my mate might pose, but I don't feel compelled to use our relationship like the confessional either.
We both try our best to nurture each other and encourage each other the be the best humans we can be. Life is short; we're honest and open with one another, but we simply haven't the time to waste digging around for skeletons in each other's closets.
You say not to push in relationship, my boyfriend pushing me to know about that guy that hurt me badly.