Myths about disability and sexual relationships

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This is what I found from Wikipedia




Disability stereotypes add to the difficulty and stigma experienced by disabled people. The following myths about disabled people have been identified:[39]

Disabled people don't need sex.
Disabled people are not sexually attractive.
Disabled people are "oversexed".
Disabled people have more important needs than sex.
Disabled people don't need sexuality education.
Disabled people can't have real sex.
Sex must be spontaneous and/or have a set time.
Disabled people, particularly those with intellectual disabilities, should not have children and should not be allowed to have children.




Have you experienced any of these negative attitude?

Disabled people don't need sex.
Nobody needs sex.

Disabled people are not sexually attractive.
Depends on the person in question.

Disabled people are "oversexed".
Almost everybody is oversexed, though the disabled are relatively less so.

Disabled people have more important needs than sex.
Everybody has more important needs than sex.

Disabled people don't need sexuality education.
False.

Disabled people can't have real sex.
False.

Sex must be spontaneous and/or have a set time.
By the law of the excluded middle, this is vacuously true, although the "and" is a contradiction.

Disabled people, particularly those with intellectual disabilities, should not have children and should not be allowed to have children.
Depending on the disability, this may or may not be reasonable.

When I go to bars or nightclubs when a girl has tried too get close/intimate with me often her friend would come over and angrily butt in and say “hey get off him”

Best to avoid those sorts of places, for the most part.

I go to those sort of places every weekend

Why though? seems like you just have negative experience after negative experience at those places, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to think of other activities you could do on the weekend.

My mother certainly believes the last stereotype and actually pushed me to have a vasectomy.

That’s incredibly mean of her

Well for just about every one of those, it depends on the disabled person.

I don't think I should have kids, I doubt I'd take care of them very well besides my childhood kinda of sucked I was depressed and miserable for most of it and suffered plenty of bullying and getting picked on. So for this adult half of my life it's time for me. I get to enjoy life how I want to...without having kids to worry about.

Well his mom is what I'd call a toxic person, at least my impression.

It was mean of her and it took many verbal clashes with her to drop it. She actually thought I would get a girl at college pregnant but I couldn't even get a coffee date.

Society tends to force people to conform to stereotypes and sex and disability is one area in which if a disabled person goes against this stereotype then he or she would be labelled or seen as some kind of deviant or pervert especially for those with non apparent disabilities. Some are forced to go through most of their lives without a partner because they have had ad experiences trying to get one before the person left their parents and the other person being warned off by pushy parents and told they're not good enough and all that rubbish. That is why a lot of disabled people go their whole life without that kind of experience if they have been warned off by overprotective parents and the like.

Not necessarily so. Perhaps it was just incredibly honest of her.

When my symptoms were strong, I was of the Very firmly held belief that there is No WAY I should ever father children as they don't deserve to inherit such defects.

Do I believe the same thing today? Not as much; especially since my symptoms are no longer strong And I know that the way that I am is not purely genetic & thus inheritable.

But, does that matter much? Not really, considering that the people I f**k can't get pregnant, anyways.

Even before I became clinically depressed, she was telling me she wanted me to get a vasectomy. I had no idea I had Aspergers even though I was diagnosed in my childhood and for whatever reason she never told me about my diagnosis. I had to find out on my own.

She also said to my siblings she wanted them to get the procedure but never followed through with it and both of my siblings have children of their own. Whenever she got stressed out, she would lament about ever having children.

I don't think anyone has any business telling me I should get a vasectomy. It's my body, not their's. Being infertile could also be a potential deal breaker and I already struggle enough even trying to get a simple date. I just don't know if my time is running out or if it's already over and I should just slash my throat.

I have a visually apparent disability and have run across these issues many times. Right after I became disabled my father told me that he thought I was lucky because anyone I was with romantically would definitely really have to care about me because they wouldn't be with me otherwise. I'm not sure why he thought it would be reassuring to tell me that no one would ever be purely physically attracted to me again. I feel major ambivalence about whether I actually want to be in a relationship. I do feel sexual desire. However, my parents have both been divorced twice now and all of my friends seem to have a variety of issues in their relationships and marriages, so I know that it's a big hassle trying to balance someone else's wants and needs with your own.

My Asperger's traits make this tougher because sometimes when random guys I meet are nice to me, I have a really hard time knowing whether they are interested in me or not. The few times I have tried to flirt they always get this terrified look on their faces and exit the conversation as quickly as possible. I sometimes wonder if this is specifically because they think that I can't have sex or if they just can't imagine being with a disabled person. After getting burned a few times I now just assume that no one is interested. If someone ever is they had better be bold enough to just tell me because I seem to be incapable of accurately intuiting it.

I have faith that you will find a nice guy, Zinnia.