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jojobombastic
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23 Mar 2019, 7:55 pm

I sorta rejected a guy a few months ago. I want to explore things with him now but I'm afraid he will be mad at me, or like he's already seeing someone or into someone better than me. I feel guilty and scared. Has anyone here been through this? Any advice on what to do? :?



quite an extreme
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24 Mar 2019, 8:54 am

If he likes you he will be glad that you changed your mind towards him. Otherwise move on because he isn't even worth any of your fears then.


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cberg
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25 Mar 2019, 12:27 am

It's good to make peace with people in person no matter what happens.

I think there's always hope in these seemingly one sided situations because that's just the point of having faith in people.


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25 Mar 2019, 12:29 am

Dang, love is complicated.


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Sweetleaf
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25 Mar 2019, 1:00 am

jojobombastic wrote:
I sorta rejected a guy a few months ago. I want to explore things with him now but I'm afraid he will be mad at me, or like he's already seeing someone or into someone better than me. I feel guilty and scared. Has anyone here been through this? Any advice on what to do? :?


Well depending on the context, you could probably just send him a message if you still have interest. I mean you could contact him and ask if he would still like to meet you or whatever and well if he is mad about the initial rejection the worst he can do is say hes not interested anymore and/or be mean over instant messaging about it. In which case you don't have to continue communication.

I mean here is my situation, I got a message from the guy who is now my boyfriend, we've been together almost 5 years now. At the time I got the message I was kind of butthurt because the last guy I had been dating and thought there was a connection...he basically sent me a message that said he didn't want anything long term, but he'd be willing to meet up one more time for sex. So in effect...like he had found a girl he was more interested in, but was still willing to have sex a couple more times with me(like wtf, would the new girl know you're still screwing the last girl you led on). But whatever I texted back to him 'alright then' and never spoke to him again.

But so anyways I was butthurt about that, and also just kind of thinking about myself and how it wasn't the first relationship experience that was less than ideal. So I felt I needed to take some time to kind of re-set before I would be ready to try another relationship. And well I saw the messege from the guy that is still my boyfriend now...but I was all angry about the last one so I didn't respond for a month because I was worried about that same kind of thing happening again. But after that month when I had moved past it I messaged back my now boyfriend, it was a month old message so I had no idea if he'd even see it or if he had already moved on figuring I wasn't interested. But I took my chances and sent him a message back a month after he had sent me a message. I figured it was too late...but sure enough he responded and was still interested, after we got together he said he did try and go on dates with some other women during the time he didn't hear back from me, but nothing had worked out so he was still available when I finally responded.

So yeah I suppose that is not so much 'reconnecting' but I am sure when I didn't respond he may have figured it was a rejection but turned out I just wasn't ready to try to connect with another guy at the time he sent me the message. But regardless of if he felt rejected initially, he was very much interested to actually meet me...even after I had 'ignored' his message for a month.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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25 Mar 2019, 2:33 am

You need to learn from your rejection's consequence, the guy is not your lapdog that you take him back and forth.

Have a bit of consistency please.



Tim_Tex
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25 Mar 2019, 2:36 am

I have done this a lot lately. Usually unsuccessful, but I still take a chance.

Taking a chance is all you can do.


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nick007
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25 Mar 2019, 7:14 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
You need to learn from your rejection's consequence, the guy is not your lapdog that you take him back and forth.

Have a bit of consistency please.
I can understand & respect this opinion. However I think the big factors are why the OP rejected the guy & the circumstances surrounding the rejection. If by chance(NOT saying the OP did) but IF the OP rejected him because she thought he wasn't good enough for her or that there was something about him she didn't like or wanna deal with, I would think it's best for the OP to move on cuz she's being fickle. Also If by chance(NOT saying the OP did) but IF the OP rejected him in a very harsh, mean, or offensive way, I would think it's best for the OP to move on cuz the guy's probably hurt by the rejection. If the OP rejected him in a nice way cuz she had a boyfriend, didn't know the guy was asking & thought he was being nice instead, had too much going on at the time, wasn't in her rite head to date anyone, ect ect, then by all means the OP should try asking him out & maybe explain what changed. The worst the guy could do is reject her.


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