The super confusing “date”...

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Ok, my last sunday date was probably one of the most confusing dates in the world, the ultimate NT-AS puzzling showdown.

A bit of background story: Let’s called her “IR”, she’s someone I knew online for 3 years, I met her before I meet my ex (the one who cheated), ans there was intense flirting and she video called me a lot; but I stopped giving her attention when I met my ex-gf, we kept occasionaly in touch and she initiated texting me several times still; she literally chased me when my relationship with my ex was progressing, so I had to put a stop to her and told her that I love my (ex)gf.

IR repetitively warned me of my ex (via obvious hinting), telling me not trust her and not to take the relationship too seriously because she is not the right one for me. I don’t know what she learned of my ex.

I told my ex about IR and about her behavior and she got jealous and told me she’s trying to steal me from her.

After finding out my ex’s cheating and break up, she learned about it and she contacted me, telling me that she got recently cheated/lied by a recent partner who turned out to have a fiancee, so she knows the feelings; she invited me to that karaoke-pub-disco-bar place thing.
Coincidently a friend was making a small birthday, so I was going there too anyway.
The bday friend welcomed me and told me sorry for my breakup, I told her I am waiting for another friend coming. IR came after minutes wearing something ultra-sexy, the bday friend gave me a sarcastic look and whisperted “A friend you say? She is a date dude”. I introduced IR to my friend, IR’s friends were there too.

Anyway, that’s the list of how IR behaved with me during the night out:
- She dragged me to dance floor.
- Kissed me on cheek and close to lips.
- There was a lot of touching there.
- She hugged me in photos.
- She hand-fed me some of the food, and the cake. There, in front of her friends. So I did the same to her and there was no physical objection.
- Every time she places a carrot (yes, the carrots that come with the beer) in my mouth half in, she eats the half out, so our lips collides (wtf).
- She sat on my lap at times, she even ‘danced’ by shaking on my lap.
- When I whispered her I am going to toilet, I really meant that I just want to go to the toilet... you know, to pee, but she actually followed me to the toilet door, she opened the toilet door, but there was a guy waiting outside she didn’t notice and was like “sorry lady, but this is for boys, I was about to enter”. She got red and nervous and whispered me “I ll wait you back at the table”.
I was totally puzzled wtf was this all about.
- Danced wildely later again.


BUT... when some guy there asked her how long she has been dating me she was like “oh... no... we are just friends”.

*facepalm*

I dunno, but I am too non-NT, but in my knowledge the just friends don’t hand-feed, dance on one’s lap, eat carrots off mouth, ...etc.

Fellas, what the hell this was?

FIIK

She doesn't want a commitment with you.....yet.

Put the brakes on, laddie.

She was obviously coming on to you. It has to feel good that you are wanted, but you need a little time.

Did you get that STD test yet?

Since this gal IR had an ex who cheated too ... she needs a clean bill of health too before you get involved with her. IF you get involved with her.

There is nothing wrong with taking some time to think things over. And in your case, I think it's necessary.

Have testing appointement on Sat, not planning to have sex anytime soon.

Her cheating ex actually was cheating his partner with her without her knowledge. How would i approach her to do the testing too? hmm

You could just mention that you've had it done due to your ex cheating... or wait until you get your results. Then casually mention you'd need any future "partner" to do that too. Not like you're demanding it of her - just a more general plan.

Btw is it F- or F-ed?

FIIK = f****d if I know

[Inserts Golden Girls laugh-track]

My wet dream fantasy.
But ONLY fantasy.

In reality it's creepy.

The ones who come on strong like this are often the ones who are the most dysfunctional. Doesn't mean it has to be like this always, but I'd be careful.

Do you have more info on why she is so obsessed with you for many years?

Obviously, it's because Face_of_Boo is HOT.

FIIK

I say f**k ( sometimes with a 'the' prefix TFIIK ) but I've seen f****d used as well but it doesn't sound right to me.

Maybe yes, maybe it's something else. Maybe it's both. Who knows. All I know from experience is when someone comes on strong it can go really bad.
It's possible that there is nothing to be suspicious about, but at this point in time I am.

BTW on topic, it doesn't confuse me what she said about being "just friends".
Like, you are not dating or together. She is technically right about just being friends.
I think it's uncomfortable when someone asks "are you together" when you are in the process of trying to get the other person, because it can be embarrassing to say yes when it doesn't work out, or even worse if you were to say "what are you talking about, we are not together". It's uncomfortable to say "I'm trying to get him".
Personally, if I was this offensive in my attempts I would probably say the same thing.

Well..... before meeting my gf, a cam live cybersex happened with this one, more than once (yes we saw each other naked). I’ve tried to meet her for real afterward but she said she got scared, so I backed off. I’ve casually met her once in a very croweded place, she wqs comfty but I started to talk with my ex around this same time and she knew it.

She got a bf too during my relationship with my ex (but obviously for a shorter term than mine), so she wasn’t really that obsessed about me all time.
Actually, she doesn’t behave clingy in her online communication at all.

lol but from where you got this idea?

I was kidding, but I forgot to include a smiley.