I know awesome women but I'm out of touch.

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I suppose certain aspects of me being a hopeless romantic aren't lost on them, or how would I know any such women in the first place? Obviously more togetherness is called for in this day & age but I'm struggling to find casual means of direct conversation with women. Could it be they recognize that I'm taking time away from my social life to learn more?

I want us to learn from each other, in person. The social climate right now is frozen over.

You're ouuuut of touch, I'm out of tiiiiime, but I'm out of my head when you're not aaaaround!

Anyways, something I've been taught is that women are attracted to men who have their own, interesting things going on in their life. Do you have a lot of male friends you hang out with a lot? What other things do you enjoy in life? Perhaps you can use all those as distractions from your frusturations in the lady department.

maybe you put them on pedestal too much? or too obviously?

Maybe we put each other in stupid boxes, that's what it looks like when I look past these inane metaphors.

Are you telling me it would be better to be that predictably selfish guy who only wants one thing & ignores all positive aspects of women as people? Do you actually want to be taken off the "pedestal" or is it just a proxy for ignoring friendly guys in favor of chauvinists?

To me that feels like blame shifting.

My time is mostly consumed by work. It does not help at all. I actually have a lot of friends in general, I'm just dismayed at how divided we are by gender.

If women are tired of being on pedestals then why are they leaving guys in the dark?

Does anyone see what I mean about the dangers of not being literal & direct? To me, metaphors only apply to my love life if I or someone I know came up with them.

I'm doomed aren't I?

Maybe he does, but women in real life are not mind readers so they won’t know what his thoughts about these women. So no, that’s not the real reason of his struggles in attracting the opposite sex.

The only women who know his thoughts about these women are probably those who are reading his posts here on WP, and that has no effect to the women around him.

The whole thing is....is that he has qualities that I don't have, and have never had.

I can't hang-glide. I can't scamper up a mountain. I don't have the computer smarts he has. There ware women out there who would kill for a guy with flowing blond hair.

I often feel that Mr. Berg overthinks, in general.

Because of their empathy most are this even bit more than you are aware of. Once he starts to use his eyes they may notice him being interested and he may realizes the way that they really are too.

More importantly, what I'm really asking about is how to encourage more empathic decisions from a male standpoint. There's no point in typecasting guys as less empathetic than women when empathy is something we're all supposed to be learning from them anyway.

That's not to say I don't appreciate when women have a better understanding of my feelings than I do. Some of them are a very calming presence in my life & it would be good to make them more aware of their contributions.

No, you are too influenced by the media and magazines. This is just a silly media trope.

For that matter, women are far too easily influenced by a bunch of misogynistic jerks in Silicon Valley.

OK so maybe the problem is that guys with ASD are a silly media trope.

Maybe I'll just outright tell all my friends that I don't want to be treated like a token nerd.

With a classic Asperger syndrome you lack the required emotions and the 'mirror neurons' for feeling empathy. You can't easily learn it. NT guys are empathetic but mostly less then woman. But there are also big differences among the women.


No, it's just what I can watch. Many guys - also NTs - are quite unaware of this. I don't get NTs emotionally because I don't feel the same way but I'm not blind. The most important thing in first step is self-confidence towards the women. But if you don't cause them a real crush on you afterwards they'll leave you for the next guy who is just a bit more dominant than you.

That's absolutely wrong. Every living person experiences empathy in one way or another, that's the only reason I'm posting here.

Also would you guys PLEASE stop stereotyping female behavior? I'm not trying to perpetuate unnecessary constraints. This is strictly a matter of getting along better & getting together more.

Only for emotions the person knows and is able to feel. Once you are able to feel empathy you have a big avantage over me. You should use it and cause the 'awesome women' to crush on you by amplification of their positive feeling towards you which you should be able to feel then.


There is no stereotype behaviour but typical behaviour. Not all people are the same way but many are not as different if compared to each other.

I don't find it healthy to view others as "typical".

I guess I'm fairly lovable when you look past the plastic fumes from all these laptops.

Again, my thread is about making room for female individuality, not funneling women towards me with any kind of tactic. I'm not doing anything by the book because said book gets thrown back at guys like me all the time.