When waiting until marriage gets too late?

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How old does someone need to be until waiting til marriage turns into a problem for the person waiting and could be seen as a red flag?

My polish female friend was discussing this yesterday with her friend. A mutual friend who is 35 and is otherwise very successful but is still waiting until marriage. They thought it was unusual and might be off-putting to people now.

I've noticed this more and more over the years. I think past the mid 20s it might turn into a problem

Specifically, what kind of problem?

When a typical average person might see it as a sign of them being stuck in their ways.

Presumably, if they're making that decision, it's based on religious beliefs? For them, I don't see a problem. Do what you want.

Do you mean that potential partners would see it as a problem? I can sort of understand that. If someone has never had physical intimacy with someone else, does that mean that they might not also have experienced emotional intimacy? Would they never have learned how to be in a relationship? Are they going to be immature in that way? I guess if you're not up for putting that work in with them, that might be a red flag for some sorts.

I'm addition too, what problems do you think the person waiting might encounter?

everybody is different, I admire that that individual is not letting social pressure interfere with personal choices. Is it really anybody else's business???

I wouldn’t see it as a red flag. However, I probably wouldn’t go for that person because being sexually compatible is very important to me. I also don’t want to remarry although I do want a committed relationship.

Everyone is different. I’m sure that it wouldn’t be a problem to some people.

Well I am waiting to have sex until I'm married but I don't know WHEN I will get married

I would see it as a gamble. Marrying someone with no track record in that regard, at that age seems like a roll of the dice many would decide against.

Casting a wider net, I think many give off hints as to how matured they have become long before any serious commitment. Dodging classic movies because they have adult scenes for example.

I’ve known people who were around that age who waited and then got married, so it’s not a hindrance to some. People should do what they want and what feels right to them.

There are a lot of people out there.

Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 27 Feb 2023, 6:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

Well the internet making it so bloody impossible to book weddings is one thing that is delaying our wedding day. It's nothing to do with our relationship, although admittedly we both are procrastinators as well.

I never knew you were planning on getting married.

Like people have said, everyone's different. It's only a problem it's a problem for them

But there's a reason early relationships fail and one of those reasons is because the people in them are learning how to function in a relationship which is different from being single. So if you've 'been there, done that' and maybe if never having had a sexual relationship means never having had a deep emotional relationship, maybe you're not keen to hold someone's hand while they catch up? I understand that it's quite possible to have had deep relationships without sex.

But then, if you're waiting for marriage, would you be expecting that of any potential partner also? They may well be in exactly the same boat.

Oh yes, we've been planning to get married for the last 6 years. Then my boyfriend lost his job so we had to put the wedding off for a while. Then covid happened so we had to put it off again. Then my mother passed, so I couldn't get my head around other things at the time. Now we're trying to get married but we're only forced to do it online and we don't want a big venue as we can't afford it.

congradulations Joe90 ,, it is pretty hard to find someone that you would want to consider spending the rest of your life with anyone at all ....Congrats for whenever you guys accomplish your Marriage , Do hope maybe sometime you can find a grand venue to have you ceremony / Event at .. or whereever you might choose .

And am thinking it can be quite a event for anyone to find their life partner. And you can almost never know when you might run into that special somebody . Think waiting can be a good thing .

I think that people who want to wait, especially if they are past a certain age, are typically religious and could find someone else who wants to wait in their religious community. I’ve seen this specific situation cause a lot of problems to be honest.

Purity culture can be pretty toxic.