Marriage and child is no longer feasible [ranty]

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At age 37, I think I reached the point of no return in that. I missed the boat in that, that’s guaranteed.

So even by miracle I find a match suitable for marriage today (my current relationship isn’t), I would need at least 3 or maybe 4 years to know her and to reach the marriage level, so I would be around 40.
If we are both in hurry to have a child, and lucky enough, we may have our first child at age 41-42 (not to mention the increasing miscarriage risk and birth defects after this age, and worsening fertility... yes aging men have their clocks too).

Not too old you say? Think again... by the time the child becomes 10 I would be already around 50! Surely I wouldn’t have much energy left to keep up with the energy of a child of that age.
You know, schooling her/him, activities, teaching swimming and stuff.... etc, what a dad if he can’t keep up for those stuff?

When they reach 18 I would be already around 58-59. How is that fair for the child? And even if my to-be wife is younger by a decade, how that would be fair to her as well?

Frankly most people become already grandparents at that age.

That *if* I find a marriage-material match today.

Now now I know some of you would tell me some “uncle story” (ie. My uncle met the love of his life at age 57 and had his first child at age 60... etc bla bla).

I also know a story of an old father who has 3 daughters, the eldest is 23 and the youngest is 7... he died last week and now they’re in big financial mess.
The eldest daughter told me be was always very concerned about his aging and on his youngest daughter.

So please spare me the “uncle stories”, and oh these uncles are selfish and idiots.


So I don’t get why some relatives still insist on the idea of me getting married and to have children asap before it’s too late... it *is* already too late!

I gave up on that, they should too.

I’m 31 and it’s too late for me.

i'll be your surrogate dad.

...

adoption?
it's a lengthy process i'm sure, but worth considering if a kid is really what you want. IMO.

my dad was 34 when i was born, not too old, but if he was older it wouldn't bother me personally.

I’d bet his nation won’t allow a single man to adopt a kid. I don’t even think most agencies in the USA would.

I certainly will never be allowed to adopt due to being on disability income and I’ll never be able to afford paying some lady privately to adopt her kid

It that I’d want to raise a kid alone

Even a single woman in tough economic straits would have trouble adopting a child.

My wife's son and his boyfriend have a surrogate son. My wife's son is 50 years old now. He had him when he was 45.

My brother was 37 when he adopted his son as a single father.

^ is he still footing the bill?

Do you have any nieces and nephews, Sly?

Why is it too late and what's your financial situation? The latter's probably one of the most important questions. My Dad had me when he was 53 and on his second marriage. Now granted he was a university professor, my parents never found out about my own ASD, he was working all the time and didn't want my mom to have me b/c he didn't think he could raise a son. But he didn't do a terrible job and there were no real financial problems for me growing up. I'm 45 now myself and I probably can't be a parent, but that's b/c of my financial situation and my own difficulty in taking care of myself, not b/c of my age per se. Frankly 37 isn't that old, so you'd either have to elaborate further on why you think your age is such a critical factor in your case or you have to figure out how much you want a kid and what you'd be willing (or not) to do to raise one. Same thing for your partner.

Face_of_Boo, you are lacking in imagination.