Partner works nights, I'm finding it very difficult :(

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My partner has recently got himself back into work after a long stint of being out of work, which is fantastic, I a so pleased for him and so happy he can now move his life forward in the right direction.

Because he finds day shifts very hectic and difficult, he has opted to work nights where he says it's so much quieter and calmer, which I entirely agree with, night time has a totally different feel to it, the workplace is so much different at night, I totally get this and it's fine.

However, I am finding it impossibly difficult.

I recently received some news for example, that my husband, who I am divorcing, has been in contact with my solicitor demanding money! He's totally nuts, very PDA, undiagnosed Autism, the lot. Basically he lacks common sense and a lot of intellect.

This news arrived during the time my partner was in bed asleep during the day, and I am the kind of person who HAS to discuss something ASAP before I have chance to overthink it.

This led to me having a total breakdown, and him putting his job on the line.

I have plenty to do here, I have computers to fix, I practice coding, I go for walks, it's all there to occupy my time, but having to deal with losing him for almost 16 hours a day is very very VERY hard on me.

My dog is having to stay with my mum while I wait on the downstairs flat being renovated. It's about two weeks off being done, then I have my own space. The flat is underneath my partner's flat, it's a pretty decent place, the rent is decent, the landlady doesn't mind my dog, it's all perfect. I am not guaranteed it though, but I have first refusal on it.

This is also really REALLY REALLY hard as I miss her so much all the time. She is a large bullmastiff mix, I adopted her, I love her, I promised I would never leave her, but after my marriage broke down, I had to stay with my mum, and it didn't really work, I am now sofa surfing with my partner until the flat is done, and then if I get into the flat, I have my own space to set up my computer lab and hopefully try and start an online business which is my absolute dream.

I don't want to stay on the welfare benefits system for the rest of my life, it is NO life, it is so depressing. I have never been able to work, so I have to think outside the box now.

My entire days are being consumed by missing him though, and like he said during me having a meltdown, 'I can't get those hours back either', which really upset me even more, he didn't know this though so.

I went for a walk the other day after getting that letter, it was a lovely sunny day, I walked down the road, saw horses out in the fields, people walking around etc, and all I could think of was the stuff I am missing out on doing with him.

He says he is NOT doing the job for long, which is fine, but the work he wants to do will require him working 12 hours at night!.

I really want this relationship to work, he is everything my ex was not, he is smart, kind, very lovable, it just works.

However, I don't think I will ever be able to accept this, it feels as if I have lost him. I can't sleep next to him, I can't talk to him when I need to during the day, which I know would be the same even if he worked days, but still, knowing he is here and not being able to talk to him when I need to is so hard

Is there a way to fix this or will this end up in a really sad ending? It would just about finish me off if we broke up right now, over something like this, because there are NO other reasons for this to happen.

I can't stop feeling sad over it and getting really upset. It feels as if I have lost him.

Can anyone else relate?

Must be nice having a partner and a pet. I wouldn't know.

Good luck resolving all the issues going on in your life!

Is there anyway you can alter your schedule so you can spend more time with him after he wakes up before he goes to work & after he gets back before he goes to bed If could but it still wouldn't be enough time for you with him, your not capable of handling a relationship rite now with someone who works a regular job. You would need to be with someone who only works part time or doesn't have a job for whatever reason(maybe due to disability), or you'd just have to accept that you cant handle a relationship till you work on yourself.