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Roman
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23 Nov 2012, 2:19 am

I was wondering how come the term "cougar" is only reserved for older women seeking younger men as opposed to older men seeking younger women? I mean I remember some of my girlfriends were complaining about older men trying to hit on them on dating sites. So why can't these men be referred to as cougars?

Does it imply that there is underlying reason for being a cougar and that reason is specific to women, whereas in case of men the reason is entirely different which is why they are not being lumped together with their female counterparts? If so, what is the underlying reason behind women becoming cougars?



Venger
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23 Nov 2012, 2:39 am

Yeah guys doing it often get called "old men" or "dirty old men" even if they're only like 45 or something. I guess it's only considered acceptable with older women for some reason even though men generally age better in appearance. :roll:



Roman
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23 Nov 2012, 3:27 am

Venger wrote:
Yeah guys doing it often get called "old men" or "dirty old men" even if they're only like 45 or something. I guess it's only considered acceptable with older women for some reason even though men generally age better in appearance. :roll:


Actually my interpretation is the opposite to yours: the terminology tends to degrade women more. After all, "dirty old man" would be a subjective label to a particular man, while "cougar" seem to lump all old women into one single phenomenon. The word "cougar" also has negative connotation, yet it sounds "scientific" enough to be taken seriously.



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23 Nov 2012, 3:51 am

Roman wrote:
The word "cougar" also has negative connotation, yet it sounds "scientific" enough to be taken seriously.


I have a hunch that most older women would prefer the term cougar over "dirty old woman". lol



BanjoGirl
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23 Nov 2012, 7:30 am

Venger wrote:
Yeah guys doing it often get called "old men" or "dirty old men" even if they're only like 45 or something. I guess it's only considered acceptable with older women for some reason even though men generally age better in appearance. :roll:


Old man + young woman doesn't have a specific word because this kind of relationship has been common since... well, since humanity began the path of civilization (and sure before that). There is the word "rhino", but nobody uses it, and "sugar daddy" if he is older and rich.

And "cougar" is a word that came out recently as Internet slang (just as "rhino"?) and it's quite humiliating.
Before internet we didn't have that amount of possibilities to catalogue (humiliate) people. Nicknames exist again, now outside high school.

I hate this type of slang, it sounds like "fetishism" in a very cynical way. Same with MILF. "Stud" is a young man who dates older women but it's not a bad name, probably because it's just the word "student".


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Last edited by BanjoGirl on 23 Nov 2012, 7:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

MrXxx
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23 Nov 2012, 7:33 am

Pretty simple really. At least I think so.

Women are usually associated with "cat-like" behaviors, while men are more commonly known as"dogs."


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23 Nov 2012, 7:34 am

Quote:
"Stud" are young men who date older women but it's not that bad, probably because it's just the word "student".


Stud is a word for male horses or bulls used primarily for breeding. Not student. Age irrelevant.



BanjoGirl
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23 Nov 2012, 7:36 am

blue_bean wrote:
Quote:
"Stud" are young men who date older women but it's not that bad, probably because it's just the word "student".


Stud is a word for male horses or bulls used primarily for breeding. Not student. Age irrelevant.


Thanks, I didn't know. It has sense, it's internet slang after all. My theory was too innocuous and naïve.


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23 Nov 2012, 7:38 am

MrXxx wrote:
Pretty simple really. At least I think so.

Women are usually associated with "cat-like" behaviors, while men are more commonly known as"dogs."


It certainly gives meaning to the term "On the prowl" :). I think as women get older they get more sexually confident and hence take more initiative to pursue.



CrazyStarlightRedux
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23 Nov 2012, 7:39 am

I am personally glad the word exists....since it's equal rights!

I mean....men are degraded if they seek a relationship at young woman/late teenager if they are only 5 years OLDER!

Woman can moan about the word all they want...it's only fair woman are called for doing the same as men since after all...equal rights means woman get the same crap as men do with the benefits also.


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BanjoGirl
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23 Nov 2012, 7:48 am

CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
I am personally glad the word exists....since it's equal rights!

I mean....men are degraded if they seek a relationship at young woman/late teenager if they are only 5 years OLDER!

Woman can moan about the word all they want...it's only fair woman are called for doing the same as men since after all...equal rights means woman get the same crap as men do with the benefits also.


5 years is the age gap of all the couples I know, it's considered a normal gap here.

So British society criticize a relationship between a woman and a man if she is 20 and he is 25? I doubt it.


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CrazyStarlightRedux
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23 Nov 2012, 8:02 am

BanjoGirl wrote:
5 years is the age gap of all the couples I know, it's considered a normal gap here.

So British society criticize a relationship between a woman and a man if she is 20 and he is 25? I doubt it.


Technically, a man can be called a paedo by the uneducated (the term doesn't mean exactly sex with a minor, but a specific age), which I find disgusting personally.

It is not socially acceptable for me to date someone from....say....1994, despite being 18 as I would be considered a "cradle snatcher".

I'm not joking either, one of my friend's been accused of being one even when he was only 9 months older then his off/on girlfriend who'm he had sex with but the parents accused him of forcing her (apparently this was not the case), so he is on the offender's register.


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23 Nov 2012, 8:41 am

Ive had a one night stand with a lady whos in her 40s. :oops: I was still 29 at the time she drove me to her place made me some food and after wards we had sex.


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DialAForAwesome
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23 Nov 2012, 8:45 am

CrazyStarlightRedux wrote:
BanjoGirl wrote:
5 years is the age gap of all the couples I know, it's considered a normal gap here.

So British society criticize a relationship between a woman and a man if she is 20 and he is 25? I doubt it.


Technically, a man can be called a paedo by the uneducated (the term doesn't mean exactly sex with a minor, but a specific age), which I find disgusting personally.

It is not socially acceptable for me to date someone from....say....1994, despite being 18 as I would be considered a "cradle snatcher".

I'm not joking either, one of my friend's been accused of being one even when he was only 9 months older then his off/on girlfriend who'm he had sex with but the parents accused him of forcing her (apparently this was not the case), so he is on the offender's register.


Crazy as this sounds, it's true. This actually happens.

I know I got a lot of grief for liking this girl at work who was 18 years old (almost 19). The reason? Because we had a 5-year age difference!


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CrazyStarlightRedux
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23 Nov 2012, 9:53 am

AspieOtaku wrote:
Ive had a one night stand with a lady whos in her 40s. :oops: I was still 29 at the time she drove me to her place made me some food and after wards we had sex.


Classy lady to feed you with your mouth as well as your pants.


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23 Nov 2012, 2:34 pm

I dated older women a few times before, with the first time being when I was 25. (I'm 29 now.) Even though the relationships didn't last long, I've had nothing but good experiences. I found those women to be mellow, realistic in their expectations, open to the idea idea of dating a nice guy, and tolerant of my quirks, aspie and otherwise. The best age group, in my experience, is women 32 to 38. They still have somewhat youthful looks, but already lost the complexes that a lot of 20-something women seem to have (i.e. wanting a jerk over nice guy). Interestingly, as I get older and more confident (which is really just plain not caring what people think), the 20-something women seem more interested in me than before.