25 male aspire who has never had a girlfriend

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So I’m 25 a male and I’ve never had or been able to get a girlfriend and being single for nearly a quarter of a century sucks I hate being single it is to me the worst thing in the world. I’m inexperienced and feel useless every time I try and get a girlfriend I either get friend zoned, ignored or humiliated. I’ve asked out and tried to get girls to do something with me,anything. I’ve tried everything, theme parks, coffee a simple sit down and chat, lunches everything I could think of and every time the girl has ghosted me. yet I find out through other friends of mine that the girl asked them out to something similar to what I asked her out for. Girls hate me with a passion. it’s like when they look at me they see Adolf Hitler staring back at them. I have been rejected so far by 40 girls and counting. Yet my friends have so much luck with females one even had 3 girlfriends in the space of 2 years. yet I can’t get one. another had two girlfriends. I’m so “lucky” in fact I get to hear all about their sexual adventures with their girlfriends. while the jealousy and envy of not being able to experience the same thing with a female, and indulge in my fetishes and such like my friends, do eats away at me like cancer. I have a job, a house, a car yet I get ghosted and girls turn their nose up at me and alwasy go for my friends. I went with them to the bar the other night and my friends got hit on by 7 girls 7!! ! And they all ignored me. I tried my best but I got rejected by every one of them. Then to ad insult to injury my friends went off and had sex with them with the girls saying they were open to trying and doing anything. They even complemented my friends on how cute and hot they looked and how they would date them in a second. all the while they ignored me. I sat there,Drinking my beer, trying to join in and the girls gave me a disgusted look and pushed me away excluding me from the group. I was guttered. I then got left at the bar by myself. I left soon after and I have to say I’ve never felt more sad, hurt, humiliated or depressed in my life. After this gut wrenching experience I’ve resigned myself to the fact that girls hate me and I’ll be forever single.

Any advice for me would be greatly appreciated and sorry for such a long Rambling story. Thanks.

Can you post your photo?

Bars aren't the best place for Aspies, frankly.

I don't go to them.

You have a job----how about a co-worker who works in a different department from yours?

Here’s a list I compiled of responses to the question “What do women find attractive in a man?” from several other threads. Now, while it isn’t an all-or-nothing proposition, the more of these qualities a man displays, the more likely he is to attract women. Some women may find certain qualities more attractive than others, and no two women’s priorities are the same.

To summarize what the women have said that they find attractive in men:

Appearance:
o Decent Clothing / Well-Dressed
o Good Grooming
o Good Hygiene
o Good Looks (This definition varies)

Physical:
o Fit & Trim (Not too buff or too skinny)
o Healthy (Neither a smoker nor obese)
o Hair (Not bald; no beard or mustache)
o Taller than she (By about 4 to 6 inches)

Mental:
o College Education (Not necessarily completed)
o Interests in Common (With hers)
o Intellectual / Intelligent (Not a "Smart-ass")
o Knowledgeable (Not a “Know-it-all” or a “Mansplainer”)
o Logical

Emotional:
o Caring / Compassionate
o Cheerful (Not a whiner or complainer)
o Funny / Good sense of humor
o Level-headed / Rational
o Optimistic
o Passionate about something (i.e., cause, hobby, et cetera)
o Sentimental / Sweet (i.e., sends flowers on her birthday, et cetera)
o Warm / Empathetic

Behavioral:
o Accountable / Responsible
o Attentive (Toward her)
o Civil / Well-mannered
o Employed (gainfully)
o Honest
o Interested (In her as a person)
o Independent lifestyle (Owns or rents a home, car, et cetera)
o Kindness / Mercy
o Respectful / Tolerant
o Understanding
o Unique (Not an ordinary follower)

Remember, THESE ARE NOT MY OPINIONS OR "RULES"! These are the opinions of women, and not men guessing as to what women want.

Even though it may make you feel down to observe your friends get girlfriends and casual sex, that you get the chance to observe them isn't really a bad thing.

What is the difference between you and those friends?
Are they better looking?
Do they posses more social prowess?
Is there an obvious difference in body language between you and your friends?
Figure it out.

Actually, if you have a close and positive enough relationship with those friends you could ask them what they think the reason for your lack of success is and ask them to be honest. They have seen you fail and they may have observed why you fail.
If you can figure out what the problem is you can still decide if fixing it is possible or worth it.

I'm 44 years old and I've never had a lover. It doesn't bother me.

[edited]

Last edited by Raleigh on 18 Jan 2019, 3:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I find it demeaning to give us social advice in PowerPoint format. It's inconsiderate & from where I sit it reads like boilerplate social darwinism yet again.

PowerPoint format is perhaps the easiest for me to process and understand.
I have trouble sifting through paragraphs because I've usually forgotten the beginning by the end.

That's what a selection of women said they want, though.
Tthat small slice doesn't represent all women, thankfully.
what seems sensible on a page doesn't necessarily translate to real life attraction.

It generalizes everyone, that's my real issue with it. According to this I should give up. My job, car & personality are all meaningless because I'm not in those aesthetic margins.

This copypasta also encourages women to judge guys by purely superficial means. It's not really as if having a fast car means anything about who I am, except for my adrenaline habit. I'm actually very androgynous even if I do conform to the majority of those standards. I don't really think there's any good reason for combining all these things as if everyone expects them. It trivializes real honest conversation in favor of subjective measures of a guy's 'status'.

It doesn't only focus on aesthetics.
It has mental, emotional and behavioural components.
The last one, "uniqueness", could be our salvation.

Edit: after reviewing it again, I would say you tick quite a few on that list, cberg.

First of all learn eye contact. Don't look away once a pretty girl looks at you especially once you are approaching her. In this case she thinks you are dishonest. Enjoy her otherwise she thinks you don't like her look. Stop looking at her once she doesn't looks back. She recognizes your looks even if she doesn't looks back. Dress and style in an attractive way and try to show self-confidence in the way that you are. It's nearly the most important thing. Girls care about this and they are quite calculating towards guys. Once a girl shows that she likes you you should try to approach her. Don't talk sh*t because most girls recognize quite fast if you are dishonest.

Last edited by quite an extreme on 18 Jan 2019, 4:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I doubt you are the only one who never had a girlfriend at the age of 25. I read a couple of stories a while ago about single people who are in their elderly ages without ever having had been in a relationship, and yet they found happiness without ever being in a relationship. Maybe this is a peer pressure thing you are going through if you feel you have to rush potential friends into dates.

Last edited by Zack1994 on 18 Jan 2019, 4:38 pm, edited 5 times in total.

i think this is pretty sound advice.

i'm willing to date a guy who won't make eye contact, but i also have a hard time with eye contact. most people like eye contact.

^What do you think of my advice?

if it makes u feel any better im bout ur age, and i just think of a reason such as its more of a socially acceptable thing and i've never really been one to abide by such laws of fitting in society, such as it is with everyone on their phones all the time either on snapchat, tinder, dating apps, or facebook, i'm doing the opposite, really says alot about me or rather i wonder what people think of me not being in the loop as i am in that sort of generation.

Also i think about the purpose of a relationship, is it to provide comfort for one another or is it to plan a future and to have kids to extend the family?

Personally i have too many people in my family and enough siblings to ensure that my family tree doesn't end at myself. For the comfort side of things, if a girl wants me so badly i'll just have to make sure that it's the right decision they're making and probably make a note of the bad sides of my personality that could conflict with the relationship, along with any health problems they're willing to deal with.