Influx of help me with my Apsie BF postings lately?

Page 1 of 2 [ 28 posts ] Go to page 1, 2 Next

Joined: 27 Jul 2011
Age: 72
Gender: Female
Posts: 335
Location: Left coast aka Northern California

04 Jan 2012, 12:22 pm

Am I wrong or has there been a sudden influx of new posters asking for help with my Apsie BF?

Is this connected to the article in the NY Times about Jack and Kirsten?

Should there be a new forum for this category?

Just wondering.....

I think there should be a big disclaimer on all forums saying, you are not getting professional advice here, just free advice which is worth what you pay for it?

krazykat
Snowy Owl

Joined: 5 Mar 2010
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 156

04 Jan 2012, 12:40 pm

I'm wondering why we never have an influx of help me with my Aspie GF threads. Are us girls that much less troublesome?

_________________
How dreary to be somebody! How public like a frog, To tell ones name the livelong day To an admiring bog!
-Emily Dickinson
My Youtube vlog: http://www.youtube.com/user/khawkgirl

Vigilans
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,181
Location: Montreal

04 Jan 2012, 12:56 pm

krazykat wrote:

I'm wondering why we never have an influx of help me with my Aspie GF threads. Are us girls that much less troublesome?

Guys are far too afraid of pissing you ladies off by making that implication

I mean... Yes you are all definitely *way* less troublesome! Did I mention you all look even more beautiful than usual today?

_________________
Opportunities multiply as they are seized. -Sun Tzu
Nature creates few men brave, industry and training makes many -Machiavelli
You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do

Dunnyveg
Deinonychus

Joined: 5 May 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 370
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

04 Jan 2012, 1:00 pm

krazykat wrote:

I'm wondering why we never have an influx of help me with my Aspie GF threads. Are us girls that much less troublesome?

I'm not at all sure that women are less trouble. Remember the old joke: Women live longer than men because they're not married to women. Seriously, I think men marry, or get into relationships, with women hoping they won't change. Women get into relationships with men hoping they will change. At least this seems to be the pattern for normal couples. I've never personally known another aspie, so I couldnt' comment on that.

ghostar
Velociraptor

Joined: 20 Dec 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 403
Location: Most likely work. Sigh.

04 Jan 2012, 1:02 pm

As a female Aspie, I honestly think that men find our non-manipulative, lower-than-normal emotional reactions somewhat attractive.

For instance, an NT woman might interpret her Aspie bf's lack of enthusiasm for some shared activity (e.g. board games) as a lack of enthusiasm for the relationship. An NT man, on the other hand, isn't as likely to make that leap and would likely just accept that his Aspie gf doesn't like board games.

Just a theory...

mv
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 17 Jun 2010
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,131

04 Jan 2012, 1:05 pm

I never have a boyfriend, so I keeps all the crazy to myself. Lonely, but efficient! :wink:

Daemonic-Jackal
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Feb 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 581
Location: Salford, United Kingdom

04 Jan 2012, 1:19 pm

PaintingDiva wrote:

Am I wrong or has there been a sudden influx of new posters asking for help with my Apsie BF?

There's been a few but most (not all) of the women posting those are new members and have been asking for advice on their bf's when they haven't even been diagnosed, they just assume their bf's have AS just because they claim that they have some of the character traits.

Which in turn shows they're asking for 'advice' behind their bf's backs, so are these sudden new posters really trustworthy? I only ask that because it seems most of them aren't exactly certain of what they're talking about or 'advice' they're looking for to start with.

_________________
"Every cripple has his own way of walking. " ? Brendan Behan

http://www.facebook.com/YentonianCarlos

JanuaryMan
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Jan 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,359

04 Jan 2012, 1:29 pm

Quote:

ghostar:As a female Aspie, I honestly think that men find our non-manipulative, lower-than-normal emotional reactions somewhat attractive

I can confirm this is exactly what I look for in women because strong emotions either seem like poker cards to me or they stress my body and mind out. :cry:

On Topic:
-------------

Increasing awareness and increasing understanding are two different things. Many have now been made aware of Aspergers through the main stream media but many are rarely told by these same outlets that the general symptoms and personality traits aren't solely what makes someone an Aspie and that a brief period in one's life where they express this behaviour doesn't always qualify for a self diagnostic. I think this is why when you go to lesser moderated forums for Aspergers you see a lot of NT's or Non-AS ruining the advice sections or in this case a rise in partners asking for help with their (usually undiagnosed) AS partner.

Dunnyveg
Deinonychus

Joined: 5 May 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 370
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

04 Jan 2012, 1:38 pm

One more thought on this, and that is not to overlook the obvious: There are simply more male aspies than female aspies.

I know this is a contentious issue with some of the ladies in here. They undoubtedly have a point that females are under-diagnosed. But so are males. I've been told I have AS by a psychiatrist, but have never undergone the ordeal of an official diagnosis, and likely never will. I'm not going to bother, and I don't think I'm alone in this respect.

There is no biological law stipulating that females must be afflicted with AS at the same rate as males. For example, it is possible for males to develop breast cancer, but nobody would argue that the incidences have to be equal; men develop this affliction far less often than women.

Last edited by Dunnyveg on 04 Jan 2012, 1:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Asp-Z
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Dec 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,018

04 Jan 2012, 1:40 pm

Looks like a good sign for male Aspie dating prospects if you ask me

JanuaryMan
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Jan 2012
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,359

04 Jan 2012, 2:08 pm

I hope so

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,640
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

04 Jan 2012, 6:56 pm

I'm concerned because most of those women are with Aspie guys who sound like real jerks. Those post may scare women away from Aspies. There are plenty of Aspies who are NOT jerks like that but they are a lot less post about them. Are most Aspie guys jerks or are Aspie jerks better able to get in relationships

_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill

"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition

Asp-Z
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 6 Dec 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,018

04 Jan 2012, 6:58 pm

nick007 wrote:

Well if an Aspie isn't a "jerk" then the relationship is more likely to be successful and there's no need to ask for help on forums.

nick007
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 May 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,640
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in capitalistic military dictatorship called USA

04 Jan 2012, 7:15 pm

Asp-Z wrote:

nick007 wrote:

Well if an Aspie isn't a "jerk" then the relationship is more likely to be successful and there's no need to ask for help on forums.

Yeah that's probably it but I find it very frustrating & disheartening that those are a majority of post by NT women here. I wish more NT women would come here to get advice before their relationship is majorly dysfunctional like that. I think this forum could be a great recourse to couples who are wanting to work together but finding it difficult because of the communication or other issues. I guess I would like to see more happier outcomes here

PaintingDiva
Deinonychus

Joined: 27 Jul 2011
Age: 72
Gender: Female
Posts: 335
Location: Left coast aka Northern California

05 Jan 2012, 11:58 am

It would save everyone a lot of time including the NT posters, if there was a separate forum for the gosh I think my BF is aspergers and doesn't know it, should I tell him and oh by the way here is a list of the awful stuff he has done so far in our relationship....

I am having a very hard time in discerning what is actually asperger related in the object of their affection's behaviors and what is just the same old, same old, 'he is just not that into you' male behavior. You understand what I am saying?

I find many of the NT postings so far sound very familiar to, any other advice column website where the woman is unhappy with her man and asks, 'why does he DO this' and the answer invariably is, 'he is just not that into you, set up the No Contact Rule and fast' and move on.

Not to mention, none of these ladies has realized that they are sharing all their private matters on this website and if the BF does decide, oh right I am Aspergers, that is why I am such a jerk to you, and comes to this website for information, advice and support, he might be a tiny bit put out to see all his issues on display here......

Ah the internet, still the wild west of sharing too much and no there is no privacy on the web.....

ghostar
Velociraptor

Joined: 20 Dec 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 403
Location: Most likely work. Sigh.

05 Jan 2012, 12:07 pm

PaintingDiva wrote:

I tend to agree with you. All of your points are very valid.

Page 1 of 2 [ 28 posts ] Go to page 1, 2 Next

Jump to:

Influx of help me with my Apsie BF postings lately? Post Reply New Topic

Influx of help me with my Apsie BF postings lately?