Being friends after a breakup

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How do you ignore your feelings for the other person?

You know it's not going to lead anywhere, but there's something about them that just tugs at your heart strings every time they smile at you.

Ahh that's the question of all questions.
I just try and love without expecting anything in return, unconditional love? Not easy. If it's painful, then it helps me to try and avoid meeting in person.

My honest answer: Don't do it.

Your ex will know how you feel, and will use it to his or her advantage by manipulating you, making you into their emotional tampon and whatnot. Furthermore, it will prevent you from moving on.

M<e & my 1st girlfriend tried to remain friends after we broke up cuz we were best friends before we got in a relationship. I couldn't handle being friends after. She had various issues & I was very protective of her while we were together & her issues got worse after we broke up. I still felt very protective of her after we broke up but I couldn't really do anything productive about it other than accept things which I did not do which lead to majorly big fights which was a major reason we broke up in the 1st place.

Nope.

Not immediately anyway. Maybe after several months/year or so after the initial hurt has worn off. But in the short term, the nuclear option is the best for me (delete from all social media, and try to avoid going anywhere they will be).

And I mean I'm not saying this is best for everyone. This is just what I have to do. Other people can separate their feelings, which is great. I can't, so this is what I have to do to survive.

It's one of things that varies for each person, and it depends on the circumstances leading to the breakup.

If it's simply "irreconcilable differences", then it's ok to be friends.

If the partner cheated, probably not. However, I would leave the forgiveness window open in the future.

Domestic abuse (physical, emotional or financial), then hell no. Block and press charges.

Well, these weren't quite the responses I expected, but thank you for sharing.

I think I'm going to just grit my teeth and get through it. The friendship is too important to lose. It's rare that I find someone like me. I need this. Maybe he needs my friendship too.

But I will not keep myself from the possibility of other relationships... as if anyone is going to be interested in me anyway, but I won't be blinkered to anyone who might come along.

Oh Hurtloam. If only I could change your name to Happyloam!

One thing that makes me really sad is my second girlfriend (The last girlfriend I was with) as she was my best friend. It is that which I really miss the most. I don't mind that we are not lovers. She is married now anyway and I am thrilled for them more then most! But when we stopped being an item, I tried to remain friendly but she found it was too emotional. I feel soo sad as she was such a good friend to talk to.
I ask myself if I wasn't her girlfriend would we still be friends? But, we would have never met and I would have missed out on some lovely times. I speak and think very higjly of her.
The first girlfriend I feel the opposite. I don't wang to meet her. I nearly ended my life with what she did to me. While I don't want any bad to come to her, no way would I want anything to do with her. If we were the last two people on earth, we would be the last two people on earth!

It takes training in mental discipline.

I wouldn't want to meet either of my exes again MG. It's NOT due to me being mad at them but rather things didn't end on good terms for either of us & I feel they would be better off without me coming back into their lives & stirring up hurt feelings. I really hope they're OK, especially my 1st since she really was my best friend & considering the issues she had. I felt kinda like an older brother or father figure to her. It was almost eerie how much we had in common & how well we got along. I really miss our friendship & haven't felt anything like that with anyone else. I'm sure she's a very different person now in some ways assuming she's still alive cuz I know I'm a very different person in some ways. So who knows if we'd be nearly as good of friends as we were back then if we never met then & suddenly were to meet now. I really miss my 2nd girlfriend too but she was on what seemed to be a good life path & very independent in some ways or at least wanted to be so I'm not really worried about her. I know I upset her after she broke up with me cuz I was upset about things & said some things to her & on the forum that I really shouldn't of said. I may of meant them back then but I do not mean them now that I had time to reflect & improved my life in some ways. It's the same with with my 1st girlfriend too. About the only way I'd want to be back in either 1s lives is if either of them were having a major problem I could really help them with but I cant imagine what that would be & really do NOT want to.

Not everyone can be nor wants to be a robot.

Then the answer to your question is that it's impossible.

Prometheus18. Ummm. Question. I thought I read somewhere that you were in your 70's? Or am I grouping people again? It says you are 23?
I think I am confusing you with someone else (I call is grouping).

No. I'm 23, and my age has been on display since I first joined. I suppose I ought to be 70, given how old-fashioned I am.

I think I grouped you with someone who must have a similar name... Probably beginning with P. Either that or I missread sometjing you put elsewhere.

No worries. Bet you're glad you are 23! Haha!

Nope. I hate being a member of my generation, and have nothing in common with my age group.