The Look

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17 Aug 2019, 2:17 pm

What does the term "the look" mean to you.

It was an expression my friend used today. She says her friend keeps giving her "The look".

She thinks he's into her.

Prometheus18
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17 Aug 2019, 2:40 pm

It's difficult to define, but I know exactly what you mean. Women show that they're attracted to me all the time. I regret not being able to reciprocate, for the most part.

Alterity
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17 Aug 2019, 3:31 pm

The look, like he's giving her bedroom eyes?

that's the only way I've heard "the look" meaning in terms of romance/lust

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17 Aug 2019, 4:10 pm

Alterity wrote:

The look, like he's giving her bedroom eyes?

that's the only way I've heard "the look" meaning in terms of romance/lust

That's the look.

What makes them bedroom eyes more than any other look?

Alterity
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17 Aug 2019, 4:31 pm

Typically sort of heavy lidded, or kind of half open eyes. They may look kind of limpid or hazy/dreamy/soft. The pupils will sometimes be a bit larger (dilate). Overall a kind of seductive look.

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17 Aug 2019, 4:36 pm

Limpid is a good word. A new one for my vocabulary.

hurtloam
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17 Aug 2019, 5:18 pm

Well I'm over thinking this throwaway comment my friend made and I've been googling stuff. Found this:

Quote:

All looks of attraction and interest aren’t equal...

The mechanics of the two types of looks differ. In a 2014 study, Cacioppo’s team found that lustful gazes were characterized by looking at the body. There were more overall looks logged in the lust column, but each one was faster. Love looks consisted of sustained gazing directly into the eyes.

Cacioppo believes lust can turn into something meaningful. “Passionate love grows out of desire,” she says.

https://www.theguardian.com/intimacy-secrets-for-all/2017/jun/01/can-eye-contact-make-you-fall-in-love

hurtloam
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17 Aug 2019, 5:25 pm

Maybe this is where o fail. I hate looking directly into people's eyes.

The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Aug 2019, 11:14 pm

There’s no pure male-female friendship unless the guy is gay or loyal to his wife.... of course this male friend is into one of you. This is a a given.

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18 Aug 2019, 1:13 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

There’s no pure male-female friendship unless the guy is gay or loyal to his wife.... of course this male friend is into one of you. This is a a given.

Well, he's not into me. I'm not the one getting the look, so...

What a narrow world view you have.

All of my male friends aren't into me... That's the sad reality of my life.

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18 Aug 2019, 7:19 am

hurtloam wrote:

All of my male friends aren't into me... That's the sad reality of my life.

How can you be 100% on this , I went through my life never recognizing all the signals , if you don't have someone willing to spell it out you'll never know. Luckily my current GF had to spell it out and make the move as I didn't realise she was interested even after our first date.

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smudge
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18 Aug 2019, 7:35 am

Personally, nearly all of the male friends I've ever had have always given me bad advice on any relationship I've ever been in. They're suspicious of my partners and exaggerate the badness of anything bad they do. Or if they set me up with another of their male friends, they'll choose someone they really don't think I'll fancy.

I think there is a great amount of truth in what FOB says. It goes even for men in relationships, and well, if you don't look at peoples' eyes, sorry but you miss a wealth of information, including when men are peeking at other women around them despite holding hands with a woman they're with. Women are much subtler at this type of thing (looking), so I'm not saying they're not as bad.

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hurtloam
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18 Aug 2019, 7:48 am

SaveFerris wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

All of my male friends aren't into me... That's the sad reality of my life.

I'm 80% sure.

I'm always the one making all the effort, doing the inviting, sending the texts.

There's 1 who may have an interest.

All the rest, nada.

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18 Aug 2019, 7:53 am

SaveFerris wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

All of my male friends aren't into me... That's the sad reality of my life.

Absolutely. It's spelling it out or nothing for me.

As in... "that girl in accounts really fancied you..."
Me... "really? I wondered why she kept giving me funny looks."

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hurtloam
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18 Aug 2019, 7:59 am

Trueno wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

All of my male friends aren't into me... That's the sad reality of my life.

Absolutely. It's spelling it out or nothing for me.

As in... "that girl in accounts really fancied you..."
Me... "really? I wondered why she kept giving me funny looks."

What don't understand us why you guys can't be interested in someone based on being attracted to them. Why isn't it enough to make some effort when you like someone's personality? Why don't you want to spend time with them unless someone is direct about their interest.

I'm always exploring new people and guys just sit and watch the world go by.

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18 Aug 2019, 8:56 am

Trueno wrote:

SaveFerris wrote:

hurtloam wrote:

All of my male friends aren't into me... That's the sad reality of my life.

Absolutely. It's spelling it out or nothing for me.

As in... "that girl in accounts really fancied you..."
Me... "really? I wondered why she kept giving me funny looks."

What? I just thought she was that friendly to everyone :roll:

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