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Rudness from women

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Jamesy
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26 Aug 2019, 11:10 am

When i go out too bars and clubs the majority of people who are rude too me are women.

is this common for guys with aspergers?



red_doghubb
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26 Aug 2019, 11:12 am

...and the can of worms is opened!



Fnord
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26 Aug 2019, 11:12 am

Jamesy wrote:
When i go out too bars and clubs the majority of people who are rude too me are women. Is this common for guys with aspergers?
It is common for any guy who is either rude or 'creepy' in some way, whether or not he realizes it.



Jamesy
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26 Aug 2019, 11:17 am

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
When i go out too bars and clubs the majority of people who are rude too me are women. Is this common for guys with aspergers?
It is common for any guy who is either rude or 'creepy' in some way, whether or not he realizes it.



When i chat too guys on nights out they tend too be easy going and polite but of course not always though



Fnord
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26 Aug 2019, 11:21 am

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
When i go out too bars and clubs the majority of people who are rude too me are women. Is this common for guys with aspergers?
It is common for any guy who is either rude or 'creepy' in some way, whether or not he realizes it.
When I chat to guys on nights out, they tend too be easy going and polite; but of course, not always though.
What you describe is normal. Any man who goes out to bars and tries to "chat up" the women there should expect the majority of them to show hostility. The men who are already there know this, and likely do not see you as competition.



red_doghubb
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26 Aug 2019, 11:27 am

Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
When i go out too bars and clubs the majority of people who are rude too me are women. Is this common for guys with aspergers?
It is common for any guy who is either rude or 'creepy' in some way, whether or not he realizes it.
When I chat to guys on nights out, they tend too be easy going and polite; but of course, not always though.
What you describe is normal. Any man who goes out to bars and tries to "chat up" the women there should expect the majority of them to show hostility. The men who are already there know this, and likely do not see you as competition.



Probably more annoyance than hostility, albeit depending on a man's approach. They most likely have been hit on repeatedly that or on other nights when all they wanted to do was drink or chat with their friends. Guys seem to think that if a woman is in a bar she must want to be hit on and that they have a right to do so. The best advice is the truest if most cliched: don't bother her unless she gives you signals. Yes, yes, that brings up the "aspies don't get signals" thing...



Jamesy
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26 Aug 2019, 11:32 am

red_doghubb wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
When i go out too bars and clubs the majority of people who are rude too me are women. Is this common for guys with aspergers?
It is common for any guy who is either rude or 'creepy' in some way, whether or not he realizes it.
When I chat to guys on nights out, they tend too be easy going and polite; but of course, not always though.
What you describe is normal. Any man who goes out to bars and tries to "chat up" the women there should expect the majority of them to show hostility. The men who are already there know this, and likely do not see you as competition.



Probably more annoyance than hostility, albeit depending on a man's approach. They most likely have been hit on repeatedly that or on other nights when all they wanted to do was drink or chat with their friends. Guys seem to think that if a woman is in a bar she must want to be hit on and that they have a right to do so. The best advice is the truest if most cliched: don't bother her unless she gives you signals. Yes, yes, that brings up the "aspies don't get signals" thing...




Dont get me wrong i have chatted too many women on nights who are very polite too me.

A year ago there was this one girl from canada who litterally gave me the middle finger just for sitting down and being polite.



red_doghubb
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26 Aug 2019, 11:37 am

Jamesy wrote:
red_doghubb wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
When i go out too bars and clubs the majority of people who are rude too me are women. Is this common for guys with aspergers?
It is common for any guy who is either rude or 'creepy' in some way, whether or not he realizes it.
When I chat to guys on nights out, they tend too be easy going and polite; but of course, not always though.
What you describe is normal. Any man who goes out to bars and tries to "chat up" the women there should expect the majority of them to show hostility. The men who are already there know this, and likely do not see you as competition.



Probably more annoyance than hostility, albeit depending on a man's approach. They most likely have been hit on repeatedly that or on other nights when all they wanted to do was drink or chat with their friends. Guys seem to think that if a woman is in a bar she must want to be hit on and that they have a right to do so. The best advice is the truest if most cliched: don't bother her unless she gives you signals. Yes, yes, that brings up the "aspies don't get signals" thing...




Dont get me wrong i have chatted too many women on nights who are very polite too me.

A year ago there was this one girl from canada who litterally gave me the middle finger just for sitting down and being nice.


I can safely speak for women when I say: We know men have agendas. A strange man sitting down near you and chatting you up has an agenda. Always. And you're probably the 5th man who sat down next to her, hence her finger -which is rude but it's conceivable she'd just had it, and many guys keep persisting even when a woman has said no.
Truthfully, bars are not the place to meet a woman, unless you're at a skeevy bar looking for a ho for the night.



Jamesy
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26 Aug 2019, 11:41 am

red_doghubb wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
red_doghubb wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
When i go out too bars and clubs the majority of people who are rude too me are women. Is this common for guys with aspergers?
It is common for any guy who is either rude or 'creepy' in some way, whether or not he realizes it.
When I chat to guys on nights out, they tend too be easy going and polite; but of course, not always though.
What you describe is normal. Any man who goes out to bars and tries to "chat up" the women there should expect the majority of them to show hostility. The men who are already there know this, and likely do not see you as competition.



Probably more annoyance than hostility, albeit depending on a man's approach. They most likely have been hit on repeatedly that or on other nights when all they wanted to do was drink or chat with their friends. Guys seem to think that if a woman is in a bar she must want to be hit on and that they have a right to do so. The best advice is the truest if most cliched: don't bother her unless she gives you signals. Yes, yes, that brings up the "aspies don't get signals" thing...




Dont get me wrong i have chatted too many women on nights who are very polite too me.

A year ago there was this one girl from canada who litterally gave me the middle finger just for sitting down and being nice.


I can safely speak for women when I say: We know men have agendas. A strange man sitting down near you and chatting you up has an agenda. Always. And you're probably the 5th man who sat down next to her, hence her finger -which is rude but it's conceivable she'd just had it, and many guys keep persisting even when a woman has said no.
Truthfully, bars are not the place to meet a woman, unless you're at a skeevy bar looking for a ho for the night.




She was actually hanging out with me and my group of friends when she gave me the finger.



red_doghubb
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26 Aug 2019, 11:46 am

well, then she's just got issues. But my point about the "agenda" holds.



Last edited by red_doghubb on 26 Aug 2019, 11:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

Jamesy
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26 Aug 2019, 11:49 am

red_doghubb wrote:
well, then she's got issues



it makes me wonder what could be wrong with me too make people behave this way towards me



red_doghubb
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26 Aug 2019, 11:55 am

Jamesy wrote:
red_doghubb wrote:
well, then she's got issues



it makes me wonder what could be wrong with me too make people behave this way towards me


Don't know you so can't comment, of course, but ask sisters or female relatives or friends how you come off- and tell them to be absolutely honest and see if their feedback can guide you.



kraftiekortie
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26 Aug 2019, 12:06 pm

This is the way it is in bars----that's why I don't go to them.



Fnord
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26 Aug 2019, 12:19 pm

Jamesy wrote:
it makes me wonder what could be wrong with me too make people behave this way towards me
There may be nothing "wrong" with you -- it's most likely you are just one more man trying to chat her up, as far as she's concerned.



Marknis
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26 Aug 2019, 12:34 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
This is the way it is in bars----that's why I don't go to them.


Bible Belt bars are the worst but the rednecks and bad boy jerks think they are awesome.



The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Aug 2019, 1:07 pm