Idk how

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There is this 21 year old that I’ve been interested in as of late who I’ve had a couple work-related chance encounters with. Long story short, I found her phone number and I texted her. We had a brief conversation, then she didn’t make an effort to keep the conversation going. I’m feeling very frustrated because my mom told me that I’m moving too fast and that my expectations are too high. And that if I “try to force every female in your orbit into a potential relationship girls will pick up on it”. Proving that the only thing I’m emotionally capable of doing in an attempt to spark things is to push boundaries that I am so confused about.

I feel like there’s no hope for me to find someone I truly have an all around attraction towards. Every time I meet a beautiful girl, all I can think about right off the bat are the chances of her and I having a romantic relationship.

Women have been taught all these funny rules about when to respond and when not to, or when to make an effort to keep a conversation going, and I honestly don't know what they are right now. Point being, don't read into her reaction. You can't be sure what it means. Still, I get the impression you aren't entirely ready for a relationship right now, so maybe its just as well if you set romantic notions for her aside for now.

Wanting a romantic relationship with every beautiful girl you meet sounds like your hormones doing the thinking for you. That is normal, but not useful for your goal. To have a relationship you need to be interested in a lot more than how beautiful the girl is. Women want to have relationships with men who are interested in who they are, not just how they look.

Do you have any friendships with girls? Being able to maintain a good friendship would be a good step towards learning how to have a relationship with a girl. All good relationships ultimately have a solid friendship at their base. So, my advice is to work on your female friendships first.

We all learn and grow on different time tables. Allow yours to occur naturally and don't obsess over it. You are still really young. Too young to decide there is "no hope" based on where you are at today. Give it time. I know your hormones are screaming at you right now, making it hard to let let all the elements take their natural time, but it is what needs to happen. Figure out a way to deal with the hormones.

Eh, just some aquaintences from high school that I have on Snapchat and/or Facebook. But I graduated in May and no one from there, guys or girls, ever reaches out to me.

A little unrelated to my relationship frustrations, but I guess it’s worth mentioning now that you brought up the whole female friends thing. I was texting my mom, and I meant to send her a screen shot of my texts with that girl, and I accidentally sent it to the girl! So that really messes things up in terms of having even a friendship with her.All because of how my mind is wired. It hurts me a lot.

Ignore her; stop giving her attention.

Honestly, a lot of people aren't ready at your age, they just get involved anyway and make a mess of it. I am sorry it hurts, but try to remember you are still at the start of your life, still learning and changing, and your situation today isn't going to be your situation tomorrow. Try not to focus on what you don't have right now and enjoy what you do have. Join clubs, take classes, follow your interests and allow your life to evolve as organically as possible.

Laugh off the screen shot. Learning to laugh at all of life's craziness will help a lot in the long run. Nothing gets gained from feeling embarrassed or shamed, so learn how to divert those feelings in humor if you can.