I absolutely believe that people should take a more realistic view of how looks affect one's success at dating. Unfortunately, there are some people who are so unattractive that they would have trouble agreeing to be intimate with another person who is equally unattractive. It's highly unfair. I have noticed though that in the US at least, there seem to be people who are able to get past this. Go to an SF convention in the US and look at some of the couples if you aren't convinced.
I think there is some confusion due to people saying that they know ugly people who get laid, however some people who are theoretically ugly are actually attractive to many other people. Some women can have unattractive features such as a big nose plus acne but guys may still desire them for sex, at least when they are still young, whereas others have what are typically considered pretty faces but don't arouse anyone's carnal interest. OK well one good example might be Leah Dunham, at least a few years ago. Most people would describe her as "unattractive" yet she has had no trouble getting guys into bed (either on screen or off). I once dated a young woman about 6 years younger than I who was a lot like that. If she felt attracted to a guy, she was very open about it, and guys were more than willing to oblige her. I don't know where she got her confidence from, but she definitely understood what guys are looking for much better than most women seem to (BTW I would NOT describe her as "promiscuous" per se, it's more complicated than that).
If women in particular were more honest with themselves, they would accept that they aren't attractive and be willing to do some things (see Leah Dunham, above) that a more attractive woman needn't do in order to get male attention. Ironically, more attractive women may be easier to seduce (sorry I can't think of a better term) because they are less concerned about whether the person they've decided to hook up with will commit to them, whereas unattractive women are afraid to be "used" and need a lot of reassurance from a suitor that he is "serious", which only limits their choices further.
Looking back on my own experiences when I was single, it's clear to me that some of my "successes" were simply due to the fact that some women found me attractive. Because I had been unpopular as a teenager, I never came to think of myself that way, but I realize now that I was attractive enough to sometimes benefit from the occasional young woman's willingness to "initiate" (I never really got good at "initiating" until I was at least 30).
Bottom line is that people should take a realistic view of their chances, based on their looks, just as the people at the SF conventions I mentioned above seem to have been willing to do.
09 Oct 2019, 6:22 pm
