I almost kissed a girl in a teenager party

Page 1 of 2 [ 21 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Gabriel5455
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 25 Sep 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
Location: Brazil

26 Oct 2019, 10:13 pm

Hello guys! Today I went to a Halloween party for teenagers of my english course. Before to this event happens I asked my psychologist some advices like how to behaving and how to start a conversation with a girl. I trusted all of her advices and I stayed more confident, I watched some videos but I guessed it's boring. The party happened in 3:30 PM and finished 20:30 PM (from 20:30 started the adult version with alcoholic drinks). In the beginning I stayed shy but I tried to start a conversation with the first girl that I found. I praised her Halloween outfit but I think was totally cold shoulder. I didn't give up and I kept looking and for my luck two girls started a comversation with me and I was very happy for that. I left her because my conversation doesn't flowed as it should. In the middle of party I danced a lot (I confess I'm terrible at dancing! That was the first time in 10 years, the last time was at my cousin's party when I was 7.) I was very happy because I was more "loose", I was but confident around everyone and I'm sure I managed to get over it. I believe it may have been due to the energy drink (caffeine and taurine peak) or my new medication but I believe it was myself! Unfortunately I realized that I had not talked to any girl yet, and to make matters worse everyone was dancing wildly and I even saw many girls kissing (with tongue) and realized I was in serious trouble. Luckily a kind neurotypic encouraged me to try to get close to some but I found him advice too bold: ask to kiss her right away and I already knew it wouldn't work but I insisted on continuing and went ahead. I tried with 3 different girls but it obviously didn't work out. But the latter almost accepted but then I heard a "no" come out the worst way possible. In short, I couldn't stay with anyone, I was sad a little bit but I thought: screw it, my life didn't even start well and there is still a lot that will happen in my life in the future. I left a little sad but happy for my own initiative! Sorry if I prolonged a lot but I have trouble summarizing. :D :mrgreen: :heart:



Borromeo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Jun 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,440

26 Oct 2019, 10:36 pm

My man, you are 22.

Hang out with your own crowd. Otherwise, someone is going to think you're a pedophile and tear you a new one.

If you "failed" that night, that's a good thing. If you are looking for love...a teenage party is the absolute wrong place to get it.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 134 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


Gabriel5455
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 25 Sep 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
Location: Brazil

26 Oct 2019, 10:43 pm

Actually I'm 17. I tried to date with old women (like 19 or 22) on Tinder but I figured out this is useless. However, I don't mind about this, I don't give up and I'll do my best in the next parties.



modernmax
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Nov 2012
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,458
Location: Near Chicago

26 Oct 2019, 11:17 pm

Borromeo wrote:
My man, you are 22.

Hang out with your own crowd. Otherwise, someone is going to think you're a pedophile and tear you a new one.

If you "failed" that night, that's a good thing. If you are looking for love...a teenage party is the absolute wrong place to get it.


Hebephile.


_________________
This is not a signature, I just make a line and write this under it every time I post.


Gabriel5455
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 25 Sep 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
Location: Brazil

27 Oct 2019, 12:28 am

modernmax yeah, I know it but he is wrong.



Borromeo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Jun 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,440

27 Oct 2019, 6:48 am

Ages 19 to 22 are not old women. Tinder is not so much a dating site as it is a casual-hookup site. If that's what you've stooped to look for, then get the hell away from the underaged girls.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 134 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


Sahn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jan 2018
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,503
Location: UK

27 Oct 2019, 7:15 am

"That was the first time in 10 years, the last time was at my cousin's party when I was 7"

10+7= 22 :lol:



Gabriel5455
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 25 Sep 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
Location: Brazil

27 Oct 2019, 8:52 am

All of guys didn't understand: I'm not an adult yet, I'm just a teen with 17. I was born 04/05/2002 in Brazil. I joined to the party because I thinked that was a good idea. Sometimes I used to met new girls in Tinder but I saw that was bad and I gave up because I don't found nothing girl interesting.



DanielFromEngland
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 12 Sep 2019
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 8
Location: Great Britain

27 Oct 2019, 9:27 am

Gabriel5455 wrote:
I tried to start a conversation with the first girl that I found. I praised her Halloween outfit but I think was totally cold shoulder. I didn't give up and I kept looking and for my luck two girls started a comversation with me and I was very happy for that. I left her because my conversation doesn't flowed as it should. ... I insisted on continuing and went ahead. I tried with 3 different girls but it obviously didn't work out. But the latter almost accepted but then I heard a "no" come out the worst way possible.


Oh man. You are totally going about this the wrong way. Even a neurotypical guy would fail to find a girlfriend like that. Calm down before some girl kicks you in the nuts for behaving like a lunatic.

Sorry to be harsh! But you’ve got to realise two things:

1. Getting a girl to like you takes a lot of patience
2. It is harder for us aspies than it is for neurotypical guys, so you will need even more patience



Gabriel5455
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 25 Sep 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
Location: Brazil

27 Oct 2019, 9:38 am

DanielFromEngland I need more advices. I know how to start a conversation but sometimes my subjects runaway and I see that I have nothing to talk about. Actually my worst fear is actually trying to talk and the person not listening to me, pretending that he wants nothing to do with me. Sometimes at my school I try to be respectful and say "good morning" but many don't hear what I said so I get very upset.



DanielFromEngland
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 12 Sep 2019
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 8
Location: Great Britain

27 Oct 2019, 10:24 am

You do need more advice, but not as much as you need to calm down.

Reading your story above, it’s obvious that you didn’t “almost kiss a girl”. What happened is that you made her feel uncomfortable and she didn’t know how to get out of the situation - but in the end you left her with no choice but to speak bluntly to you.

You should stop trying so hard to get a girl to let you kiss her because you’re obviously coming across like a creep. Some day, one of those girls is going to tell her father or her big brother that you were behaving like that - and then you’ll have problems, believe me.

You’ll find a girl who likes you eventually - but not until you stop being in such a hurry to get physical with someone. It’s not a race.



Gabriel5455
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 25 Sep 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
Location: Brazil

27 Oct 2019, 10:42 am

Actually I don't asked her to kiss me, actually I asked her if I could "ficar" with her. ("Ficar" is a brazilian slang that means stay with a person for a one day, usually used by teenagers and young adults). Maybe I needn't have asked her that. I should have been nicer and asked questions about the party and then tried to flirt with her but I did everything wrong.



DanielFromEngland
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 12 Sep 2019
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 8
Location: Great Britain

27 Oct 2019, 10:56 am

Yes exactly! And you tried with too many girls, which is not respectful. If the girl you are talking to isn’t responding the way you want her to, that doesn’t mean that it’s okay to try again immediately with another girl. Behaving like that will make all the girls think that you are not a nice person.

Be warned that flirting is very difficult for people with autism. You will probably have more luck if you first make friends with a girl and then later ask her for a date. She may say no. But if so, just be glad that you have a new friend.



Borromeo
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 1 Jun 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,440

27 Oct 2019, 11:04 am

Sorry about that dude--read your post count instead of your age. Carry on. (I hope you can find a good friendship!)


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 134 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 72 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


Gabriel5455
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 25 Sep 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
Location: Brazil

27 Oct 2019, 11:21 am

Borromeo pay more attention.



Last edited by Gabriel5455 on 27 Oct 2019, 12:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Gabriel5455
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 25 Sep 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 47
Location: Brazil

27 Oct 2019, 11:40 am

DanielFromEngland I know that flirt is very complicated for ASD/Asperger peoples because we don't know about social interations. I always try to socialize with my classmates, new peoples and my own family but it's not always like that and so I get confused, anxious or sad. I realize that the world is going too fast for me and I try to be more independent and responsible. I bought the party ticket not on the advice of my psychologist but on my own, I kind of "made myself" go to the party because I wanted to socialize more and maybe try to flirt with some nice girl instead of staying home doing nothing. I'll be in college in a little while, and I need to have more self-confidence in myself, as much as Asperger gets in my way, I can't let him "swallow" me, I need to control and deal with him. When I am ready, I will travel to Canada looking for a better place to work due to the socio-economic problems of my country (Brazil). For that I will need a lot of dedication and for that I will need to deal with myself and try to forget about Asperger for a moment.