Approaching a girl with Aspergers

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Hi everyone. So yesterday I attended an event called Not so Different and I really enjoyed it. the purpose of the event was to show how people who are neurodiverse can be intensely focused and creative at many different things and each person with ASD presented their individual projects which were all fascinating. I was enjoying the event until, suddenly, I noticed from across the room a girl who I found unbelievably beautiful. I got real nervous and avoided seeing her presentation until a few minutes my brother told me coincidentally “wait until you see this project!” He then brought me over to see her project and I was stunned. It was centred around her passion for music production (which has been my passion since I was 11) and her project centred around The Beatles! (My favourite band since I was 12, I had just listened to the white album before I went in to the event!) although I felt an urge to talk to her she seemed disinterested and looked down a lot and seemed ver shy, which didn’t help as I was extremely shy and didn’t say much either, my brother attempted to break the silence by mentioning I was in the process of building a recording studio (unaware I liked her) and she seemed to be a little more interested but then looked away again, so we walked away and Right next to her was a guy i went to school with and I got into a great conversation with him.

I never felt this way about a girl ever, I’m 19 and though my friends and siblings make fun I’ve never once felt something for the opposite sex as profoundly as I did for her. i got into contact with Not so Different as I intended to before I saw this girl as I was looking to seek help for pursuing my own career ambitions and I am going to email tomorrow to meet up sometime next week, as far as I know the group of ASD’s that were there are going to be there next week and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t relieved I’d see her again. Something is drawing me to this girl. I’m a big believer in faith and that same day I received what I saw as a sign from my mother who passed away this year and I used to say to her “is there something wrong with me? Because I don’t like girls.” And she’d reassure me the right girl would come along and this feels like the one. We’re both ASD, we both share the same passion, we both love the same band and, curious I looked her up on facebook and we even share a similar sense of social justice.

To be honest I was hoping to make friends here above all else and this girl is amazing, as much as I’m in love with her I also am just highly interested in her. I’m asking any girls with aspergers is her shyness and looking away a good or bad thing from your own experience? How do you think i should approach her again? If all else fails can I at least try to be her friend?

You should have came up to her after her presentation----and tell her how much you liked it.

Next time, when she gives a presentation elsewhere, you can approach her, and tell her why you liked the presentation that much, and mention your passion for the Beatles.

Or maybe if you see her at an event, you can mention her presentation, and tell her how much you liked it.

I wouldn't do anything else, if I were you----like try to get her phone number or whatever.

But you could Google her name, and if there's something creative on the Internet by her, you can send her an email telling her how much you liked that "something creative." That's if she left her email address for people to message her.

What you wrote doesn't show any signs that she's interested or disinterested. One thing that is proven is how she'll react when anyone brings up music production, so I strongly suggest when you try to talk to her again you tell her about the music related things going on in your life, and that you like the beatles too. Also, you don't want to say anything that would even give her a hint that you looked her up on facebook. Again, try talking to her about your mutual interest, then if that goes well, and that conversation seems to be dying down, the way I suggest you bring up social justice is "do you happen to like social justice?" as if you never looked her up on FB. Also, I think it's good that you also met/talked a guy friend at the event. One thing I've learned is that girls like guys who have things going on in their lives, including having friendships. If she senses she's the only one you have your attention on at those meetings, that's likely a problem. But you got that common interest with her on your side, so you don't have too much to worry about.

As someone who's been thru a lot in the female department, I should warn you that your potential romance with her could go terribly wrong in a lot of ways. The obvious ones being her not the same feelings for you and her having a boyfriend. Also, what if she doesn't show up next week or any other given event/weekly meeting in the time before you can get some sort of contact info from her(if that ever happens)?. If you don't see her for a while and you're feeling impatient, you could send a friend request on FB, but worst case scenario she'll see that as creepy. What if, in just a few months or so, she was going to go to college far away(in a different country perhaps)? Depending on if you drive or not, what if she already lives far away?

All that being said, I hope this goes well for you. And I'm so sorry about your mom:(

Strike a conversation with somebody you know is neurodiverse? Pretty bad advice given here I think.

How else are they going to get together?

There's no "other way" this could happen.

Just come right out with it----and ask her if she wants to have coffee with you (you don't literally have to have coffee. "Having coffee" is sort of an euphemism for hanging out in a café with someone).

Sometimes, you just have to wing it. Asking a person to "have coffee" with you is not creepy in the least.

Dylan, this is the internet so it's best to take all advice with a pinch of salt... I also notice no woman actually posted here.

Either way, nobody can actually know if she likes you or not, you're the only one in the position to find out.

Good luck!

The only way you will find out--is if you ask her for coffee.

Otherwise, she'll just be a muse for you (which just might be okay if you're a poet).