Not even trying anymore

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As much as it depresses me that I don’t have a girlfriend, I am honestly not even trying to get one. I just go through the day feeling lonely and seeing couples pass me by wherever I go. I don’t attend meet ups (please do not recommend a Meet Up group to me in my area. I used to go to it but I had to leave because I was sick of being the odd man out for not drinking), I don’t go to church because I struggle to even just talk casually, I don’t use any dating sites or apps because they have been historically frustrating for me, I don’t go to malls to hang out since I am passed the acceptable age to do so, I refuse to hang out at my older brother’s business since it would be unproductive, and I don’t even approach women anymore since so many of them already have a boyfriend or husband. I am 31 years old and I can’t even get a coffee date. It feels so f*****g pathetic and I am not getting any younger.

one thing to notice
if your thinking doesn't work right (for you) you must stop thinking

challege to stop yourself every time you start these thoughts



one's thinking never gets better sitting around (overthinking)

put that problem on the backburner and DO something else,
your head works better if you don't interfere like a helicopter parent

and not cling on to the words of downwards pathways as if they were treasures

If achieving a girlfriend is your sole interest, you might enjoy researching psychology, specifically as it relates to interpersonal relationships.

I'd also recommend at least glancing at Wild succulent love by Sark. She talks about singledom, the search for a relationship, and nurturing relationships once you have them.

I'd also recommend looking for a different therapist (or maybe a psychiatrist) to help with the depression. I know the therapist you've been seeing hasn't helped you, but a different therapist who is a good fit could be more helpful.

Psychiatrists can prescribe medications, if you'd be open to trying that route. Medicating depression seems to be mostly trial and error.

Lastly, be kind to yourself. The world will always be full of people aching to insult you. You should be able to become your own biggest fan.

Make lists of all the things you like about yourself.

Make lists of all the things that make you happy.

Read these lists when you feel down.

I sincerely wish you a life filled with happiness

It seems to me that, given your circumstances, the only way you've got any decent chance of getting a romantic partner is through self-improvement, but this appears to be a path that you resist going down.

You should switch gears for a bit and make becoming a more attractive potential partner your focus rather than merely just getting a girlfriend.

You're not doing yourself any favours by putting it off.

Massive sympathies. Such is life.

I am in the same boat. I am also 31 and not even trying anymore.

No one is interested. No one. No one hits on you, ever. You are never desired.

Once every five or six years, maybe it happens. And even then, the other person is either really weird and nuts, exploiting you or has autism! Or all three! !

If you don't want to go to Meetup church dating, mall , or your brothers job, you don't have to


There is no law that says you have to


Bribery and extortion are not involved

Meetup, church , dating, mall, could be a good thing or a bad thing. You have to say, good, for whom, at what time, and which one


You don't have to date anyone

"Life" goes on and on and on and on and on about

So much for this year. It started off with me depressed for being single and nothing has changed. After so many years passing me by and nothing changing, how can I have any hope?

You can't hurry love. No, you just have to wait. She said live don't come easy. It's a game of give and take.

The Supremes