Should i quit my job because of a Crush?

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So again(!) i started crushing on someone not suited for me at all. It's my coworker who is a lot younger than me. He's also acting cold with me for a while and doesn't seem to like me much while at first he was super friendly. I really don't understand what i did wrong, i didn't hit on him or anything, if anything i introduced him to my other friends so he might not feel like i am hitting on him. But recently he's been very close with this friend i introduced him and not talking to me outside work at all. I try not to get hurt and act normal but its really hard. He acts borderline cold to the point i asked him if i did something wrong to him. But maybe it's my imagination.
Anyway among other things, this is one of the reasons i'm planning to quit my job. I feel like i made him uncomfortable with acting too close and now don't know what i should do. I've been crying a lot and feeling like s**t because of this issue. But at the same time, it's only been three months since i started working here and i feel like its too early to quit.

Is income and having pennies to buy bread are no concern for you first world people? Is there another job waiting for you?

I don’t understand how one would consider quitting a job for something silly like that.

Firstly i live in Turkey so it's not exactly first world.
Secondly, i have been having anxiety attacks because of this and unable to eat for a few days because i can't relax because i'm scared i'm making people uncomfortable with my feelings.
Thirdly, i have a lot of other problems at work aside from this, and i'm considering applying for another job before quitting this too, thanks for your concern!

Would it be possible for you to find another job before you quit?

If you’re that uncomfortable, you should find something else.

Yup, the place i had in mind is an office i worked before, and i still see one of my old coworkers from there from time to time. I'm considering asking her for advice before applying. The only problem is, i actually quit while working there before. It will probably seem stupid to apply again. But i guess i have to try anyway.

You can say something along the lines of: “I miss working here. I miss the positive work environment, sense of teamwork, and camaraderie that I had with my old coworkers. It’s just not the same...”

That sort of stuff. Managers love it because it’s flattering to them.

I got an old job back this way.

Thank you for your advice, this encouraged me a little.

Sure thing! I hope it works out! If not, you can always look elsewhere.

I think the OP needs to find a way to deal with this problem as it seems to have become a pattern and likely to come up again at any future jobs. Having said this, I am no expert on how to deal with it. I would seek counselling if it's available.

@AprilR do you actually want to be in a relationship with a man? If so, perhaps you should seek a relationship via online dating or whatever other means you are comfortable with. Actively seeking a relationship might make you less likely to crush on inappropriate people.

Also, if you can hold out, it seems to me that the crush will fade sooner or later.

Oh, a fellow Middle eastern on WP! .... that was unexpected, not sure if most Turks consider themselves Middle Easters tho... Turkey is a first world compared to where I live tho (went there for more than 6 times).

Anyway, a job should be only a place where you do your thing, you come at time, work, and leave - repeat; in a robotic way, since you're that emotional then you should really not allow yourself to develop feelings for coworkers in your next job otherwise things like that will happen again.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 29 Dec 2019, 1:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Has this happened at a previous job?

If she’s feeling uncomfortable around coworkers and it’s negatively impacting her mental health, I see no reason why she shouldn’t look for something else.

Whether the crush fades or not, there may still be feelings of awkwardness.

Can a person entirely control who they do or don’t develop feelings for?

She's 28 and it's time to grow a backbone, she can't keep allowing crush feelings to destroy her jobs.

Yes, you can.

Life is not a romance novel; yes you can entirely choose when and who to love.

Perhaps she’s struggling with depression and we should cut her some slack.

That’s how it works for you, anyway.