I am sorry if I sound dismissive in my posts

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Okay, just a general remark about my posts in general. I guess I realize that I might come across as dense and as if I am unwilling to accept your answers and just want to argue. I am sorry I am coming across that way. I guess its just that I feel really frustrated with social failures and don't know what to do about it -- and if I am stuck in a situation that feels so unfair, and don't know what to do to fix it, then my only option seems to be to ask just why don't anyone else sees it as unfair -- which results in arguments. I guess if I was told "okay here is what I want you to do to get out of this predicament" and make me do that, then maybe I wouldn't be arguing so much. So perhaps its my fault that I didn't do "some" of the things I was already aware of -- such as getting better clothes and so forth. I guess maybe the reason I didn't do them is that I feel like I would still be rejected even if I did. But if someone were to say "okay, just go A, B and C and if you do that for a month then your situation will improve at least to this extend" then maybe I will shut up and do it. Anyway, sorry for the vent. Just wanted to tell you that I don't mean to come across as dismissive -- on the contrary, I value your input -- its just my being frustrated that drives me up the wall. So I do thank the people that spend time responding to my posts, and I hope you continue to do it -- and I apologize if my responses sound dismissive, I don't mean them to be.

You haven’t come across as dismissive to me.
I’ve worried I’ve been a bit harsh with you on occasion: if that’s how I’ve come across is like to apologise in return.

You do seem to be running low on patience: but I’ve taken that as with life rather than with me

I was thinking the other day you seem to analyse your social interactions like mathematical equations (which, fair enough, it’s your thing).
Have you ever tried thinking of them as dynamic equations with your acts and conduct as extra terms which change the relationship of all the preceding terms to each other?
Just an idle thought, and I’m not a mathematician so I may be spouting gibberish.

Don't worry. I can't remember exactly what the term dissmissive means at the moment, but no worries. Everything's fine.
Dissmissive. To dissmiss? Miss. A lady... Uhmm. Don't mind the dog... (Sorry. Just somehow connected with the "Don't mind the dog joke. (Does he bite? That's what I want to find out. I've only bought him this morning)). That type of thing.

Thats a bit surprising. I mean, I tend to be very long winded which takes a lot of patience.

Are you thinking of some of my posts where I didn't respond? If so, the main reason I didn't respond is "because" my response is going to be long winded -- meaning it would take few hours to type since I want to respond piece by piece -- and since I am behind on the school work I postponed typing those responses till later (which I do intend to go back to). But I am really not sure that thats what you mean -- if anything, others stop replying much sooner than I do (probably for the same exact reason).

Or are you referring to the situations where I am describing losing temper in the "real life". If so then that would make more sense. But I don't think I actually lost temper with anyone on this forum -- I merely mentioned situations when I did that in the real life.

^Neither!

I was typing fast whilst preparing to go to work and didn’t use the best wording for what I meant

It would, on reflection, have been more accurate to say:
“on two occasions in one of your threads I thought there was significant frustration revealed by how you worded your responses, but I took it as a given fact that you were frustrated by the issue under discussion (dating-finding a girl-romance) and not with me”

I’ve never found you dismissive though: if anything you strike me as putting massive, serious analytic work into interpreting and responding to everyone’s posts... which is rather the opposite of dismissive.

I am glad you wrote. I try to remember you are exploring (and analyzing), but my instinct or habit is often to take something personally (even on behalf of others), so your reminder is useful for me. It's like in my support group there is a woman who is fairly non verbal and she wants folks to ask her questions, but often she doesn't respond, so some folks stop asking and she'll remind them that she finds their efforts valuable and to continue doing so. Kind of what you just did. As these responses indicate, some folks don't need that reminder and I'll be one to represent that some do appreciate that feedback. Thank you.

BTW - My support group "homework" this week was to not personalize as much.

Well, I am not "only" exploring -- my explorations are really motivated by my emotional needs being unfulfilled. But maybe the issue is that I am assuming I am the only one with the problem. Kind of like in your case they told you not to assume everything is about you -- well, in my case I am assuming everything is about me. That is probably why i hurt other people along the way. I guess I am just assuming that I have it worse than everyone else and so there is no way for such a loser as myself to look down on others and everyone know that -- and so they won't get hurt any more than I would get hurt by a 5 year old. But I guess maybe the issue is that what I feel on the inside is not what others see from the outside. I know I am like a 5 year old but maybe others don't. So when I feel like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum, others see a 40 year old looking down on his equals.

You can be argumentative, but I've never seen you as dismissive. You do seem stuck in a situation that's not doing you much good though. As I've told you before, your dedication to your studies shows you've very intelligent and hard-working and it's my belief that if you put a fraction of that effort into improving your interactions, you'd see significant improvement.

Better hygiene, grooming and manners would make a big difference and you can make these changes gradually, without burning yourself out. So:

You do bring an interesting point: could we actually find a way to support and help you make these changes?

You were saying in another post that you've got a haircut and a shave and you're taking showers more regularly. How did things go? If you struggle with sticking with things you know need improving, I suggest you make a thread for this, maybe in the Haven where people are more supportive and whenever you feel like giving up, you post there looking for encouragement or a reminder of why it's good to make this kind of effort?

Another thing that I think would greatly improve your interactions in real life is being more civil and polite with people. Since you say you have a tendency of getting angry at someone, then lashing out at someone else, I propose another experiment: when you get angry, instead of taking it out on an innocent bystander, come here and have a good vent and tell us who made you angry and why. There are people who are going to be supportive and help you get whatever upsets you out of your system, without the risk of aggravating colleagues, potential dates or strangers.

What do you think?