Question for Aspie males really.
Have you detected fear in females around you?
Like either in class, work, public places, on a date even..?
This is why I spent a lot of practice watching female body language and gradually got better at it, and increased my confidence. Since I had the looks, physique, good job and ambition etc - and a small circle of friends too. But my ego was bruised from earlier in my 20s when I heard some girls were afraid of me and didn't know why till my diagnosis a few years later. I remember walking into some clubs, and more than once a girl I knew from elsewhere saw me, looked shocked and frightened, and immediately turned away. Even though I never maliciously threatened her in any way.
As the years went by, I noticed this behaviour diminishing - in fact I got genuinely friendly smiles. So that was an ego booster that snowballed from there.
As a "clearing" for being confronted with these irrational fear situations, like where I'd see it in her face during a date, I'd just take the spotlight off me and ask her "you seem somewhat bothered, is everything OK?" or something like that. While I knew the answer would be "yes, I'm fine" like 99% of the time, at least it was some gesture to show her that I didn't intend her any harm. And that I was genuinely bewildered as to WHY she would seem afraid, so hopefully she calmed and realized that her fear was irrational. And as a 3rd benefit, it signaled that I intuitively understood non-verbal communication (which likely got me into trouble in my early 20s), so no "weirdo alert". Maybe she was hypersensitive to something that didn't seem "quite right" with my speech patterns and demeanour. But by then I'd masked my manifestations much more due to self-awareness and post-diagnosis, but at times I admit I had a case of the nerves b/c the woman I was with was just gorgeous, even a couple of times "out of my league" as some might say.
