Help me figure this out.......

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Angnix
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02 Apr 2020, 4:56 pm

So the guy I like.... I know for a fact that now he not only tell me he likes me, but also another woman and his ex now is back in the picture, but strangely enough he is VERY open about it and tells them he loves them in front of me, etc... even going as far as saying to them they have a chance with him in front of me... While telling me he's not really going to be with them...

But on the other hand he's kinda affectionate with his guy best friend too and tells him he loves him too...

So ummmm.... Why would someone play with hearts???


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Angnix
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02 Apr 2020, 5:19 pm

He explained that his last girlfriend had mental illness and she ended up depressed and commiting suicide and that is why he can't have a MI girlfriend...

He didn't make that clear enough but him saying "I love you" and stringing me along didn't help.

What should I blame, the mental illness or the guy or both???


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kraftiekortie
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02 Apr 2020, 5:21 pm

Probably both.....



IsabellaLinton
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02 Apr 2020, 5:23 pm

Sounds like a total dick.

I'd cut and run.


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nick007
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02 Apr 2020, 7:38 pm

Judging from this & other posts I read it sounds to me like he only cares about him having his fun & the whole thing is a game to him. He either doesn't care about hurting you or since it was a game to him he automatically assumed that it'd be a game to you. How has he reacted since he realized he hurt you :?:


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Angnix
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02 Apr 2020, 7:51 pm

nick007 wrote:
Judging from this & other posts I read it sounds to me like he only cares about him having his fun & the whole thing is a game to him. He either doesn't care about hurting you or since it was a game to him he automatically assumed that it'd be a game to you. How has he reacted since he realized he hurt you :?:


He apologized but said it was me that wanted to be "more than friends". Issue is were quarantined together now and nobody will take me home. My uncle said I was the one acting immature.


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IsabellaLinton
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02 Apr 2020, 7:55 pm

Angnix wrote:
nick007 wrote:
Judging from this & other posts I read it sounds to me like he only cares about him having his fun & the whole thing is a game to him. He either doesn't care about hurting you or since it was a game to him he automatically assumed that it'd be a game to you. How has he reacted since he realized he hurt you :?:


He apologized but said it was me that wanted to be "more than friends". Issue is were quarantined together now and nobody will take me home. My uncle said I was the one acting immature.


That's gaslighting. The guy was screwing with your head.

Please take Uber or get out of there if you can. You'd likely be much safer alone than dealing with head games.

Also, didn't your uncle give you a van?


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Luhluhluh
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02 Apr 2020, 8:17 pm

Angnix wrote:
So ummmm.... Why would someone play with hearts???


Because they can.

They can't do it if you walk away from them. People will treat you the way that you allow them to.


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Mountain Goat
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02 Apr 2020, 10:03 pm

I don't get it either. I have rarely ever dated in my life but the few times I have I would not dream of dating another or thinking about dating another. It is not me.
(I do have friends of both sexes, and I will chat to them now and then, but I don't want to go with another lady if I am going with one already. No way!)
I hate hiddenness and mind games. I am very open. I will not hide things. I am too open. I openly talk about my plans, my hopes and dreams etc.
I just do not get hidden motives.
I also don't understand how people can be unfaithful.

Recently I was accused of things which in the end I did not reply as they are totally untrue and they broke my heart.

But going back to the origional post, I am puzzled. How does he think about more then one woman at a time in a sort of dating frame of mind? Ok if one is completely single and is looking. So my guess is that he does not think of you as a potential date?



Angnix
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02 Apr 2020, 10:48 pm

Van not legal...

We had a lengthy discussion and things are clear now... But for privacy sake I'll leave it at that... We can be just friends...


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kraftiekortie
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03 Apr 2020, 1:10 am

Glad this is resolved.

I hope permanently.



Karamazov
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03 Apr 2020, 1:53 am

Two possible explanations:
• He just wants to get into your knickers for the duration of the lockdown, and then abandon you afterwards.
or
• He has no real idea what he wants and is acting on inconsistent (horny) impulse.

Either way keeping your relationship on a friendship and nothing more basis will be the best for you if you can’t remove yourself as Isabella suggests (which I agree would be ideal: from what you’ve said it sounds more like option one 8O ).



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03 Apr 2020, 3:30 am

Honestly he is unstable, uses the term "love" too recklessly and does not deserve to be your friend. We all yearn to love but we cannot force it to be where it fails to exist. Take care of yourself because your uncle and his "friends" are not trustworthy company. Please distance yourself from them.


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Sahn
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03 Apr 2020, 4:19 am

If you did get together after all of this uncertainty, it will have been a very messy start to the relationship. It sounds quite triggering and he sounds like the kind of guy who might let any female attention go to his head. I hope you make a sensible decision about what you want.



Juliette
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03 Apr 2020, 8:00 am

Glad you've been able to resolve this. I've found that a simple question helps me determine whether or not a person I might be interested in is worth investing time and heart in and that is "Would I treat someone else in the same manner?" I'm sorry that this man wasn't the kind of man you deserve, hun.

MG, from what I understand, this person you're referring to actually made your female friends very welcome, chatted to them like they were sisters. When all this person requested was that you give her space, just for a bit, especially since she is unwell with a virus, and could handle no more of your constant conspiracy theories and pushing for her to buy expensive things on a regular basis, when she would rather spend her money on people who need it, not herself. She was happy to see to it that you and your family were cared for and didn't go without, as she cares deeply for you and your family. You have to remind yourself, that in all relationships and friendships, there are two sides to every story. These things that you say you were accused of ... you managed to somehow send women mail that is private, embarrassing them both, and this has happened more than once. You actually had this person's trust, and as she pointed out, she has male and female friends herself. She only wishes you well, and hopes you find what you're looking for in life.



Angnix
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03 Apr 2020, 8:20 am

Actually it had to do with his conviction... He's not supposed to be with the developmentally disabled in a relationship... He thought I was fine until I mentioned "autism" and he looked it up... But he thought he could be in a secret relationship if he pretended to date others...

Ummm, he can be friends though so we're leaving it at that.


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