Dating Insight

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Hi everyone! I am
dating someone and I am not sure if he could have Asperger’s. He is very fixated on some topics/interests, he doesn’t always understand why I was hurt about different things, he has trouble with physical affection, and he doesn’t like to do anything outside of his timetable/calendar/plans. He has told me that the affection thing is because of his (somewhat recent) divorce. That he is healing...but I cannot help but wonder if maybe their divorce was spurred by these tendencies towards Asperger’s?

Thank you,

Lauren

Well it could be - however there may be other non ASD reasons

Has he made reference to it? Does he think that there are any aspects of his behaviour that our outside of the norm?

I don't think any of us here have the appropriate training to diagnose anyone as being on the spectrum. Even if we did, we couldn't do it via the internet, and we certainly couldn't do it just based on what you tell us.

What are you hoping to achieve by trying to work out if this guy has asperger's or not? If he's never cared enough to get diagnosed, whether he has it or not is probably pretty trivial.

What sort of feelings do you have for the guy?

Divorce is really complicated and it can be difficult to sort through reasons/emotions for it, even for those of us who have been through it. I wouldn't say my autism "caused" my divorce, but some of my behaviors were definitely difficult to tolerate for my non-autistic ex-husband. Just be patient with him. If he isn't ready to talk about things or give/take physical affection, give him time.

We can't diagnose your partner. You need to be forthright with him about your needs and expect he be the same.