quite an extreme wrote:
The question was not whether you like this but what's up with this. It seems a question of social hierarchy to me that the NTs are into. Beside of this I doubt that most NT women care much whether a guy is just civilized once they are looking for a partner.
Obviously I don't have all the answers but I would say that favoring traits like 'aggression' in men (for NT women and ASD women alike) is sort of going out of fashion. There's a lot more questioning of gender roles/norms - for men, that means more encouragement to be open to sensitivity and other perceived 'feminine' traits (I'm more of a gender abolitionist in thought, for reference, so 'masculine' and 'feminine' are constructs from my perspective).
As for your personal experience, please correct me if I'm wrong, but from your original post it sounds like you may have experienced the attention in a specific situation of showing aggression towards a man who was already behaving poorly (possibly aggressively?) himself, in which case the positive attention received afterwards could be from an appreciation for standing up to someone who embodies the negative type of general aggression.
For me, I've always been more attracted to sensitive, more effeminate men, so I can't speak for women being drawn to aggression - I know, as you said above, this doesn't really help with your initial point since I'm not NT. However, I do think that favoring the sort of 'warrior male' masculinity is fading as people are becoming more questioning of gender roles as they are sort of spoon-fed to us by media and the like. Just my two cents.