Living Apart Together

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Has anyone adopted the LAT lifestyle with their partner to deal with ASD vs NT stuff?
Seems like a viable way to control your own environment more but I know a lot of people would feel cautious about such an arrangement. I’m sensitive to noise and my NT partners main hobby is playing loud music and I can’t see how things will be harmonious long term unless I have a seperate space. Of course the downsides are things like cost more responsibility. Interested to hear if anyone has a successful LAT arrangement.

I'm not sure what exactly an LAT arrangement is? Is it like each having your own "hobby room" in the same house?

Sounds a lot like me and my wife. We have kids and my wife is a devout Catholic so divorce is out. Our setup isn't ideal but it beats putting the kids through the every-other-weekend routine.

I remember when I living together with my first boyfriend for like 6 months. It was most terryfing thing ever. Since then for me "living together" is no option anymore. But who knows, maybe it's gonna change in the next 10-20 years.

So yeah, I think it's a good thing to live apart from each other. Especially if you're obviously someone that needs to recharge your batteries by your own(like every Aspie). And that's the difference to NT's. They normally recharge their batteries WITH other people.

That's kinda how things are within my current relationship thou we still spend a lot of time near each other. If the LAT lifestyle is like having a long distance relationship where you each have your own place & you get together for the weekends or something, I would find it extremely frustrating. I'm actually an Aspie who loves spending alot of time with my partner. A major reason I hated being single is cuz I hated sleeping alone regularly. I'm talking about literal sleep, not the euphemism for something else. All 3 relationships I had were long distance for about half a year & things were very difficult because of that. Thankfully I moved in with my current girlfriend after that half a year.

Regarding your partner's music hobby & your noise sensitivity swashyrose, some artists in the music industry have their own recording studios in their homes or a soundproof room in their homes. Another idea is to get a place that has a detached garage that he can play in. Or you get a place that has a detached she-shed for you on the lot. These things may be very expensive &/or hard to get depending on where you life.

I have tried, but it has always been difficult for me to get enough down time. Most NT women automatically assume any distance or silence is a form of rejection, and they'll resent that and/or do their best to gradually get rid of it. Which isn't very helpful really and ends up with situations that make my mental health a lot worse.

So yeah, LAT is great if you actually find someone who understands it and will stick to the rules rather than getting bitchy about it or gradually trying to subvert everything. Certainly better than a conventional relationship but still not easy.

Then it's better for you to get an exclusive friend with benefits, it's the same.