I have never had a significant other

Post Reply New Topic

I am on here because I had never had a significant other and not have any good quality men ever really noticed me. I have had flings with me which has never worked out. I have also had a few people try to set me up with guys, but that never has worked out either. However, I seem to feel that women around me have better luck than I do. I will admit that I can't help but feel envious of them from time to time. If any asks me out, they usually seem to be the creepy type who is seeking a one-night stand.

I am honestly tired of good quality men ignoring me and I feel depressed about it right now.

Sorry to hear that you have not had much success. You have a lot to offer, so don't be too hard on yourself.

Join a local aspie group, coronavirus willing.
Aspies are better off with aspies, imo.

I have joined an aspie support group but I would love to find a few more, actually.

You have posted quite a few times, so you aren't a newbie.
Have you looked at "The Talent" on this website?

No, I have not but maybe I should. Thanks for the tip

Do your friends have any suggestions why they ignore you ask them to be honest lot of the time you can't see what the issue is but your friends might easier to work on a issue if you know what to work on.

Not that you do but don't get hung up on looks I know ladies right now claim they can't find a quality man because they hold the men to a higher standard they want to be held to
Idon't know you so the above statement is not specifically pointed at you just an example of what I have see in real life.

It might help if you indicate your country and some of the interests you have.
There is also an introduction thread if you haven't done that already: viewtopic.php?t=26#p92

Guys can do that to women as well. I find it kinda funny when someone(guy or gal) complains about being single & not having anyone when that person has a lot of various issues, but that person has very specific requirements for a partner. I know I have alot of issues & I sure as hell complained aLOT about being single & I had a lot of things I kinda sought out in a partner but I only had a few actual requirements & they were pretty basic things.


Yeah listing your general area can be pretty helpful. I would not advise saying what town you live in if it's small but you could mention a major city your closeish to. It may help to be open to having a long distance relationship if you or your partner would possibly be willing to relocate if things were to become serious. Some Aspies would be willing to relocate cuz we have such a hard time finding romantic partners we can relate to & connect with(that was the case with me). It may also help to take a proactive approach if your gonna be open to possibly meeting someone on this forum. You can kinda get an idea of a person by reading their posts & then you could send messages to the members your possibly interested in. I'm NOT saying this is the case for you but sometimes women expect potential guys to make the 1st move cuz of the dating social roles. However that approach may not work well for a woman attempting to attract an Aspie guy. We can be pretty oblivious to flirting & indirectness. I screwed things up with a couple NT women I knew online that I had potential with, because I thought they were just interested in online friendship with me cuz they said friendship but what they really meant was that they wanted to be friends & see if things would develop into a romantic relationship. That kind of indirectness & misunderstanding with NTs can be a major reason why some Aspies have better luck dating other Aspies.

Part 1.

I have mentioned, fairly recently, a couple of times that someone might be too discriminating. Both times I was savaged for suggesting this. lol

Some people want it all without the need to reciprocate in kind.
Some people aren't particularly realistic.
Go figure.

Part 2.

Well, that is a good approach regardless of being serious in finding a partner.
I don't think people can have too many friends they can relate to on a deeper level.
Friendships are valuable, not just sexual significant other relationships.

There have been a number of guys complaining they can't get a girlfriend. Perhaps they actually mean sex partners.
As a default, I suggest they develop friendships.
The relationship can develop further once people get to know one another better.
And friends have other friends who might become girlfriends/boyfriends.

So, Defined what a "good quality" man is?
And what do you have to offer in a relationship?

"Good quality man" is someone who has money or looks but...

1. Likes and feel good about themselves and therefore have respect for others
2. Someone who has a good head on their shoulders
3. They are mature- They don't throw a tantrum every time I turn around
4. They are not pushy or controlling
5. Someone who will accept me for who I am
6. Someone who won't dump me because they are just looking for sex
7. Someone who is not interested in dating over one woman when he is in a relationship
8. Someone who is sincere
9. Someone who knows how to respect the boundaries of others
10. Someone who is positive and healthy

Now, I like to wear short hair and I learned that I get a lot of stares from other people and I realize that if I wear really short hair, I can draw attention to myself and not realize it. However, I like short hair because I like being myself and I would like someone who appreciates me no matter what.

Anyone have any other tips that make people thing I want to be the center of attention? I don't want to give people that impression and nor do I want to be "The ice princess." At the same time, I don't want to jump into any relationship and then have both parties get hurt

Don't feel bad. I once had a significant other and everybody else was having him too.

I agree with Pepe's advice.

Summer_Twilight: Just make sure your not placing a lot of value on money and looks. It's understandable to want someone who won't take financial advantage of you, but you could be missing out on some great guys if you rule them out based on how much they make. For looks, do you mean someone you find attractive, or someone who looks like a movie star?

I don't think I want to be with someone just because he has money or high status, and nor do I wand to be with a man who looks like a movie star. I don't even want someone who is into romance; I want someone who is going to be a suitable companion who I feel compatible with.

One thing I know is that I don't want to jump into a relationship with the first person who pays attention to me. I also know that I don't want to go out with someone who asks me out the first time we introduce ourselves.

I also know that chasing men does not work as I have done that in the past with someone who I seemed to lead me on about liking me back when he did not.