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xxZeromancerlovexx
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01 Aug 2020, 12:15 pm

I broke up with a guy 10 years ago. We are still friends but every time I see him he gives me compliments on my appearance. He’s a nice guy but it still freaks me out. How do I handle it? I don’t dress up anymore unless the occasion calls for it. I wear my hair in a braid and most shirts I wear involve logos that most people in my location don’t understand and know much about.

That being said, I don’t understand the compliments. Especially the ones about my lipstick.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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01 Aug 2020, 2:08 pm

Ok. :|



funeralxempire
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01 Aug 2020, 10:17 pm

He's still attracted and feels they're not inappropriate. If you feel differently tell him and say they make you uncomfortable, he'll have to make peace with that because it's not an unreasonable boundary to set.


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MjrMajorMajor
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02 Aug 2020, 1:10 am

Just give it a "thanks" and change the subject.



MaxE
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02 Aug 2020, 11:47 am

funeralxempire wrote:
He's still attracted and feels they're not inappropriate. If you feel differently tell him and say they make you uncomfortable, he'll have to make peace with that because it's not an unreasonable boundary to set.

He either is or he isn't. She either is or she isn't. Neither one is saying or asking.


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xxZeromancerlovexx
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02 Aug 2020, 3:44 pm

MaxE wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
He's still attracted and feels they're not inappropriate. If you feel differently tell him and say they make you uncomfortable, he'll have to make peace with that because it's not an unreasonable boundary to set.

He either is or he isn't. She either is or she isn't. Neither one is saying or asking.


I’m not attracted. I hate to sound rude but I need to be honest.


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kraftiekortie
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06 Aug 2020, 10:30 pm

He still digs you.

Or he wants to make peace with you.



INTJ185
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07 Aug 2020, 1:52 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
I broke up with a guy 10 years ago. We are still friends but every time I see him he gives me compliments on my appearance. He’s a nice guy but it still freaks me out. How do I handle it? I don’t dress up anymore unless the occasion calls for it. I wear my hair in a braid and most shirts I wear involve logos that most people in my location don’t understand and know much about.

That being said, I don’t understand the compliments. Especially the ones about my lipstick.


No one can know, for sure, why he's giving you compliments.
It could be an effort to not be rude or he may genuinely think you look nice.
The appropriate way to respond is with politeness and honesty.
If you want him to stop complimenting you then the best thing would be to say,

"Thank you for your compliment but I don't feel comfortable hearing it from you. Please don't be offended but I would appreciate it if you not say them anymore."



kraftiekortie
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07 Aug 2020, 1:54 pm

I like to compliment people.

If I think someone looks good, I’ll say so.

I look okay. I’d be glad if someone said I look better than what I think I look like.



xxZeromancerlovexx
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10 Aug 2020, 1:20 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
He still digs you.

Or he wants to make peace with you.


I also need to keep in mind, we dated in high school. I've changed a lot since I graduated six years ago. We broke up when I was a Sophomore which was 10 or 11 years ago. I used to have a shallow view on life that it was all about makeup and clothes. I still love makeup and clothes but there's a huge, huge, huge difference between who I was back then. I've evolved. I'm more into plushies and stuffed animals than dressing like every other girl where I live.

My personality has changed to. I'm not super romantic anymore and am more of the quirky little sister type. So I have no clue why he's still into me or wants to make peace.


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