How do you approach another Aspie?

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Ok, I don't mean to start too many topics, but I didn't think this one really fit in with my last one. Basically, I'm probably going to be going to some groups my college has for Aspies. I've heard there'll be about 40 people there. I've only met one other person who's diagnosed as an Aspie (although I suspect my father and grandmother may be undiagnosed), and so if I like any of the girls I was wondering how to approach them? I assume that it'll be easier than NT girls, but since I don't know what's standard among Aspie girls...

And when I say approach, I don't just mean overtly "let's go out." If I could get them to do stuff with me between meetings it'd be nice, since it would give me more chances.

I'd suspect that one could be more
blatant, but I don't know. The women
that I've been comfortable with have
probably been close to (if not) AS, and
were kind of sick of standard male approaches
and attitudes. I'd just try flirting from a distance,
and let them approach, but that's my MO,
as 'twere.

The problem is: I don't know how to flirt. Not from a distance, not at all. Whenever I try, I go way over the top and freak people out. I mean, how overt can I be, exactly, before I go from Aspie to just plan ret*d?

Just a warning, with this particular syndrome odds are a group is going to turn out to be a sausage fest. However if there are some aspie girls at that group just remember that they don't know the rules of flirting either so they don't work like other girls, maybe that will make it easier.

Why would they all be German?

I'm sorry about that, maybe that expression isn't used out of Texas. It means that it'll be almost all guys.

As opposed to a taco party?

I've never heard that one, but it works.

"before I go from Aspie to just plan ret*d?"

LOL

Don't stress so much! Just be yourself. It's the ones that are going to try not be themselves and try and act like cool, confident NT dudes that will probably not come across so, hmmm, bright. The girls are not going to disappear overnight - they will be there at the next meeting too. So just hover around and see (without staring) if there is perhaps someone that looks like they need an introduction.

And then, the magical And Then: to strike up the conversation, you introduce yourself and ask about her. Ask About HER. What is she studying, what does she do in her spare time. Listen to her special interest. (You're gonna be doing a lot of that in the future if you end up together, and vice versa). You want to get her to talk and feel comfortable and in a trusted, friendly zone.

Also, it may help changing your intent from meeting girls to making friends. It may take a whole lot of stress off you.

yes, that will do wonders.


Here's a very nice indian tale, enjoy!
http://www.nriol.com/indianparents/indian-stories16.asp

wot, me hang around with other geeks?

I know some people who I suspect of being aspie. They have interests in things I have no interest in what so ever. What they think is interesting I find sooooo boring. I hang around people with the same interests as me.

I think you're hot.



(in an I-respect-you kind of way)

LOL thanks...

When it comes to aspies, it tends to be more of a trying to measure them out sorta thing... sorta pondering about them and wondering... being cautious and on guard... this doesn't last however, and if I can relate to one I tend to get on better with them. But I've never experienced this in a relationship kinda way - it ain't easy to find aspies who I'd be interested in. atm my mind's set on someone else anyhow.

Perhaps in the future or something I'll look into some place where aspies are common...

i really wanted to talk to this one aspie i saw at walnut canyon, i dont really know but probably very carefully since both parties are not good at social communication. you wouldnt want someone to think you were asking them out on a ice cream date when what you really wanted was a friendship

you know, the one thing that would work for me, as an autie, to communicate a desire for a date,would be to walk up to me, from the front, so I can see you first, address me specifically by my name, and say " I would like to take you on a date". I cannot tell if a man is interested in me any other socially appropriate way, plus, I am a very deep thinker, so I could be miles away mentally, and not even observing my surroundings. I normally find out months later that someone likes me, and then, it never works out. HInting doesn't work. I would be honest about how I felt, yes, no, no time. I wouldn't make up any excuses. If you are a person who can't talk to a female very well, put a note right into her hand. make sure she reads it.