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Past missed oppurtunities

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Jamesy
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13 Sep 2020, 11:41 am

I am almost 31 still never had a proper girlfriend or sex either.

when i was 18 in college there was this one girl who wanted to go out with me and make the first move but at the time i was way to picky and rejected her.

is it normal that at times i look back on that missed oppurtunity with regret?



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13 Sep 2020, 11:55 am

You shouldn't regret stuff you've learned from because even if you feel it was a mistake it was a huge learning curve for you.


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Jamesy
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13 Sep 2020, 11:59 am

Lunella wrote:
You shouldn't regret stuff you've learned from because even if you feel it was a mistake it was a huge learning curve for you.



Difficult not to regret when 13 years later you have not had that kind of oppurtunity since.

i mean back in christmas 2013 this drunk girl gave me her number but turns out she was just friendly and not inteterested in me.


to be fair i probably have had oppurtunities but often i have been expected to make the first move etc....



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13 Sep 2020, 1:51 pm

Maybe it just didn't feel "right" to you at the time. By "right" I mean comfortable. Don't regret past, missed opportunities because when I was a young woman, I made sure I didn't miss one and I lived to regret each one. I don't even have any nice memories of my youthful encounters, only nightmares and PTSD.



Jamesy
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13 Sep 2020, 2:26 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
Maybe it just didn't feel "right" to you at the time. By "right" I mean comfortable. Don't regret past, missed opportunities because when I was a young woman, I made sure I didn't miss one and I lived to regret each one. I don't even have any nice memories of my youthful encounters, only nightmares and PTSD.



Do you think I will every get another opportunity like that again?



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13 Sep 2020, 4:18 pm

It’s not out of the question...



Jamesy
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13 Sep 2020, 4:27 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It’s not out of the question...



My mom said to me regarding the girl who tried to date me “she would just go out with anyone”



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13 Sep 2020, 4:28 pm

Jamesy wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Maybe it just didn't feel "right" to you at the time. By "right" I mean comfortable. Don't regret past, missed opportunities because when I was a young woman, I made sure I didn't miss one and I lived to regret each one. I don't even have any nice memories of my youthful encounters, only nightmares and PTSD.



Do you think I will every get another opportunity like that again?


Why are you holding that opportunity up as if were a golden one? It would be different if it were an actual relationship with a good person and then it came to an end due to a silly fight. Then, I can understand what you are feeling. For example, my young cousin who is on the spectrum and can't even speak to a woman was given an opportunity. A young lady who was the daughter of a gentlemen that had about five very lucrative cake-store businesses, took a strong liking to him. If my cousin got with this girl and them married, his financial worries would be over and he'd never want for work again. She adored him but he felt that she was too fat. He rejected her coldly. The outcome was this: He's now 47, still single, unemployed, living with his elderly parents. She married not long after he rejected her, is still married, and so are her two children. My cousin is unable to even talk about it. She not heavy anymore. She's beautiful. He was 20 when this happened. Their cake-stores are well-known and still in business. In fact, now they have people working for them when before it was strictly a family run business. Jamesy, put your head in the here and now. Forget the past. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.



Jamesy
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13 Sep 2020, 4:50 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Maybe it just didn't feel "right" to you at the time. By "right" I mean comfortable. Don't regret past, missed opportunities because when I was a young woman, I made sure I didn't miss one and I lived to regret each one. I don't even have any nice memories of my youthful encounters, only nightmares and PTSD.



Do you think I will every get another opportunity like that again?


Why are you holding that opportunity up as if were a golden one? It would be different if it were an actual relationship with a good person and then it came to an end due to a silly fight. Then, I can understand what you are feeling. For example, my young cousin who is on the spectrum and can't even speak to a woman was given an opportunity. A young lady who was the daughter of a gentlemen that had about five very lucrative cake-store businesses, took a strong liking to him. If my cousin got with this girl and them married, his financial worries would be over and he'd never want for work again. She adored him but he felt that she was too fat. He rejected her coldly. The outcome was this: He's now 47, still single, unemployed, living with his elderly parents. She married not long after he rejected her, is still married, and so are her two children. My cousin is unable to even talk about it. She not heavy anymore. She's beautiful. He was 20 when this happened. Their cake-stores are well-known and still in business. In fact, now they have people working for them when before it was strictly a family run business. Jamesy, put your head in the here and now. Forget the past. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.



Very wise words galaxy



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13 Sep 2020, 8:25 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I am almost 31 still never had a proper girlfriend or sex either.

when i was 18 in college there was this one girl who wanted to go out with me and make the first move but at the time i was way to picky and rejected her.

is it normal that at times i look back on that missed oppurtunity with regret?


Just curious: what were you too picky about and in what fashion did you reject her? I'm just curious. My cousin rejected the cake-store girl because she was only about 9 kilograms overweight - what did he expect - the cake in that store was to die for. Delicious - of course she'd have a little excess. Anybody that came within one meter of that store would gain weight. It was an Italian bakery. I could have inhaled at least 5 or 6 cannoli myself.



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13 Sep 2020, 8:40 pm

RightGalaxy wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
I am almost 31 still never had a proper girlfriend or sex either.

when i was 18 in college there was this one girl who wanted to go out with me and make the first move but at the time i was way to picky and rejected her.

is it normal that at times i look back on that missed oppurtunity with regret?


Just curious: what were you too picky about and in what fashion did you reject her? I'm just curious. My cousin rejected the cake-store girl because she was only about 9 kilograms overweight - what did he expect - the cake in that store was to die for. Delicious - of course she'd have a little excess. Anybody that came within one meter of that store would gain weight. It was an Italian bakery. I could have inhaled at least 5 or 6 cannoli myself.



I was a jerk when I was 18 and stupidly picky. She was brunette and I had a strong preference for blonde girls.

Simple as that



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15 Sep 2020, 6:11 am

Jamesy wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
I am almost 31 still never had a proper girlfriend or sex either.

when i was 18 in college there was this one girl who wanted to go out with me and make the first move but at the time i was way to picky and rejected her.

is it normal that at times i look back on that missed oppurtunity with regret?


Just curious: what were you too picky about and in what fashion did you reject her? I'm just curious. My cousin rejected the cake-store girl because she was only about 9 kilograms overweight - what did he expect - the cake in that store was to die for. Delicious - of course she'd have a little excess. Anybody that came within one meter of that store would gain weight. It was an Italian bakery. I could have inhaled at least 5 or 6 cannoli myself.



I was a jerk when I was 18 and stupidly picky. She was brunette and I had a strong preference for blonde girls.

Simple as that


So, you wanted to be seen with a blonde on your arm and not a brunette? You "might" need some patient self-reflection. Back then, it was all about you. How is it now? Is it a self-status thing still? - like where you fit in with the rest of the guys and how having a blond on your arm makes you "as good as" or "better"? Hair color has nothing to do with true connection. Did you ever want to lighten your hair and lighten your eyes in order to snag a Nordic-looking babe? I had a male African friend who went on vacation/holiday to Norway - the women were crazy over him - he had quite a personality, and quite a good time. That was years ago and he still talks about it...well, to my husband and other men. I just overheard - they chase me out. Also, do you get more attention from women when you go out by yourself or with friends? Are you friends competitive? You may be able to meet a girl through your friends female partners. You just may meet someone nice and if luck has it - a blond girl. (But don't ask for one - the women will see you as shallow) Just be yourself but be just a friend to your mates dates. They will size you up and get you a match. Women like to do that. Besides, some girls go blond if it suits their complexion and style. "Sincerity" will get you places. True sincerity.



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15 Sep 2020, 7:24 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
Maybe it just didn't feel "right" to you at the time. By "right" I mean comfortable. Don't regret past, missed opportunities because when I was a young woman, I made sure I didn't miss one and I lived to regret each one. I don't even have any nice memories of my youthful encounters, only nightmares and PTSD.


Most people don't think about the other side of the coin.
Most relationships don't make it.
Having a relationship isn't the be-all and end-all.



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15 Sep 2020, 7:35 am

Jamesy wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
I am almost 31 still never had a proper girlfriend or sex either.

when i was 18 in college there was this one girl who wanted to go out with me and make the first move but at the time i was way to picky and rejected her.

is it normal that at times i look back on that missed oppurtunity with regret?


Just curious: what were you too picky about and in what fashion did you reject her? I'm just curious. My cousin rejected the cake-store girl because she was only about 9 kilograms overweight - what did he expect - the cake in that store was to die for. Delicious - of course she'd have a little excess. Anybody that came within one meter of that store would gain weight. It was an Italian bakery. I could have inhaled at least 5 or 6 cannoli myself.



I was a jerk when I was 18 and stupidly picky. She was brunette and I had a strong preference for blonde girls.

Simple as that


I doubt that it would have been a long-term relationship, in any case.

Think about it.
At that age, you were a jerk.

At that age, both men and women haven't really discovered themselves profoundly.
In all probability, both of you would have drifted apart anyway.
I wouldn't assume there would have been a fairytale ending.



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15 Sep 2020, 7:39 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
RightGalaxy wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
I am almost 31 still never had a proper girlfriend or sex either.

when i was 18 in college there was this one girl who wanted to go out with me and make the first move but at the time i was way to picky and rejected her.

is it normal that at times i look back on that missed oppurtunity with regret?


Just curious: what were you too picky about and in what fashion did you reject her? I'm just curious. My cousin rejected the cake-store girl because she was only about 9 kilograms overweight - what did he expect - the cake in that store was to die for. Delicious - of course she'd have a little excess. Anybody that came within one meter of that store would gain weight. It was an Italian bakery. I could have inhaled at least 5 or 6 cannoli myself.



I was a jerk when I was 18 and stupidly picky. She was brunette and I had a strong preference for blonde girls.

Simple as that


So, you wanted to be seen with a blonde on your arm and not a brunette? You "might" need some patient self-reflection. Back then, it was all about you. How is it now? Is it a self-status thing still? - like where you fit in with the rest of the guys and how having a blond on your arm makes you "as good as" or "better"? Hair color has nothing to do with true connection. Did you ever want to lighten your hair and lighten your eyes in order to snag a Nordic-looking babe? I had a male African friend who went on vacation/holiday to Norway - the women were crazy over him - he had quite a personality, and quite a good time. That was years ago and he still talks about it...well, to my husband and other men. I just overheard - they chase me out. Also, do you get more attention from women when you go out by yourself or with friends? Are you friends competitive? You may be able to meet a girl through your friends female partners. You just may meet someone nice and if luck has it - a blond girl. (But don't ask for one - the women will see you as shallow) Just be yourself but be just a friend to your mates dates. They will size you up and get you a match. Women like to do that. Besides, some girls go blond if it suits their complexion and style. "Sincerity" will get you places. True sincerity.


That is my mantra, also.
Friends have friends.
Many more opportunities, as a result.



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15 Sep 2020, 7:41 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
So, you wanted to be seen with a blonde on your arm and not a brunette? You "might" need some patient self-reflection. Back then, it was all about you. How is it now? Is it a self-status thing still? - like where you fit in with the rest of the guys and how having a blond on your arm makes you "as good as" or "better"? Hair color has nothing to do with true connection. Did you ever want to lighten your hair and lighten your eyes in order to snag a Nordic-looking babe? I had a male African friend who went on vacation/holiday to Norway - the women were crazy over him - he had quite a personality, and quite a good time. That was years ago and he still talks about it...well, to my husband and other men. I just overheard - they chase me out. Also, do you get more attention from women when you go out by yourself or with friends? Are you friends competitive? You may be able to meet a girl through your friends female partners. You just may meet someone nice and if luck has it - a blond girl. (But don't ask for one - the women will see you as shallow) Just be yourself but be just a friend to your mates dates. They will size you up and get you a match. Women like to do that. Besides, some girls go blond if it suits their complexion and style. "Sincerity" will get you places. True sincerity.


Can I ask you a question? :scratch: