Trying to take steps to move on.

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I bought a book on how to survive a break up, its been two years and I’m trying to move on. I also bought a book on how to attract women. Does anyone have any recommendations on any books that deal with these subjects?

Succulent Wild Love by Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy

unf**k Your Intimacy by Faith G Harper

Those were two of my favorites. Really anything by Faith G Harper comes highly recommended.

It only took me 5 days to snap out of being in luv.
I found the best medicine was distraction and laughter.
Seriously, it worked for me.

Keep busy

Hobby

Job

Friends

Yep.
Dilute the importance of the person you were in luv with.
Add more people and activities to "Over Write" the emotional imprint of the person you need to move on from, to use a computing analogy.

Remove yourself from anything/people that remind you of the person.
Visit new places and engage in new activities/hobbies.

This is how they treat drug addicts who want to kick the habit, btw.
When you think about it, the chemicals related to falling in luv, such as the luv drug oxytocin, is simply another addictive substance.



Delve into metacognition and "see" what is going on, in your brain/mind.
"Short Circuit" the internal dialogue that is enslaving you to the person you were in luv with and replace it with something different.

I found that joking around was a good way to get over the person.

As it says in my signature: "Laughter is the best medicine."

There is a medical doctor from Argentina, Jorge Bucay...He is well know and respected in Latin America...In his medical practice, he specialized in saving marriages and most recently worked with juvenile delinquents...He is most likely retired by now, or maybe he is still traveling around the world, sharing his knowledge and wisdom...He is a great story-teller...And through his stories, one captures the life lesson needed to move on from any loss, except maybe the loss of a child...I consider him to be a genius in human behavior...His books, written in Spanish, are best-sellers...(I own a few)...And they are the best self help books ever written, according to me...I highly recommend him...Frankly, i do not know if his books have been translated to English...If this is the case, i hope the essence of his important lessons is not lost in the translation...Check him out...

I just got done reading a book on how to survive a breakup. I also am writing a screenplay to my life.

I'd be interested in reading the screen play when your finished with it. If you don't mind?

There is going to be two more scripts, that I plan on writing after this one. Don’t make me out to be an example yet. I’m still trying to over come many more demons. I even have some post traumatic stress from being bullied at school, work, and verbally abused at home. There was something inside my heart that wanted to keep going.

Breakups suck, being stuck sucks. It can seem so hopeless and the loss so complete. I'm sorry you're caught up in this right now. I almost never ask for help (big surprise) or if I do it's only from the depths of despair (jk I suffer alone 99.9%) so I'm impressed you're showing skill and maturity here and I hope the pain is not too great.

It may seem like a book or advice is not going to help much but that's the best you can do. There's wisdom in that attitude, so I hope the following hyper positive recommendation will not offend. But the above and the below are both my sincere thoughts.

This is the book we've been looking for all our lives. I say that with confidence.

Feeling Great, by Dr Burns (GOAT)

His book on relationships which has amazing 5 secrets of communication is also very great, but Feeling Great will help get you out of a funk. It's a long book but worth it, and you'll get great techniques in the first couple hundred pages. It has actual techniques and exercises to help your moods not philosophy or platitudes like most psychology self help books. Also it's been validated with peer reviewed studies. It's the real deal. I can attest works great for ASD.

Can't post the link but it's great and cheap (IMHO) on Amazon Kindle.

He also has an excellent podcast.

This is not a paid endorsement. His techniques changed my life. Yes I'm totally over the top here but I'd be disingenuous if I were less enthusiastic. Also this is not a fad for me, I've been recommending Dr Burns book for 7 years now and bought 6 copies to give away in that time.

I'm now recommending the latest edition which has one very important and central addition to the toolset making the old edition obsolete, though it was still the best available for over 30 years.

Anyway, best of luck.

For attracting women

Dr Burns book Intimate Connections is the way to go.

Strongly recommend his book Feeling Good Together which basically has step by step instructions for having a conversation that the other person will appreciate. A real eye opener.

I am a book on how to attract women, but practicing the theory is very tough.

I have read about it since my ex stopped being attracted to me, she has just started avoiding me.

Long list short: humor[no dark/creepy]; lack of intimidation in her showing her talents, talking about her successes; manage her instinctive 'testing' and emotions by a non escalated reaction; domination [just a tad higher than hers] but not a jerk = balance of a good protector/reliable. Don't overdo with the jokes especially with srs in-depth topics about issues between you two.

If I had to compromise the list with myself bc it is beyond exhausting every moment, I would choose confidence. I am not that good at this to be honest but I can live by working on it, i guess.

Also remember to not invest into a person as a special interest, learnt the hard way they will end up taking you for granted and stop wanting you around, really hard to get their attraction back after that. Best to learn to manage the obsession and live a good individual life the more deeply you feel towards that person.

Anxiety: you shouldn't make everything obvious and life easy for them. Humans are instinctually mating in times of war, to sustain life. You shouldn't have to be a stepping mat. Be too nice and they piiss on you, and not in a nice way either, they take you for a loser. Relationships may need anxiety especially after honeymoon phase. People get bored and start being distant up to disloyal. People learn each other's true full personalities with quirks that the puppy love makes seem really nice. That's where you learn whether they actively love you and choose to be with you or are just hitting cap.

I’m trying to take a break from relationships right now, so I can focus on some other things. So.....