So idk why but I think about being in a relationship but a few that didnt last long and one 1 yr long relationship I feel lonely.
Like its hit a point where I feel like I just need someone to hold after a long day and someone to come home to... like not having someone to share life intimately is just slowly making me dull and making life seem empty. I dont wanna rush or force it... like I refuse to get a mail order bride, or just be flashy with my money to get women.
I have realized a few things that I need to work on that can help me love me to be confident, and the best version of myself but idk how or where to begin.
1) being more disciplined. Like sticking to routines to keep up cleaning my room or new house,Making sure to get to bed on time every day.
2)getting over feeling like I'm missing out by being on a schedule and having to sacrafice my time for doing willy nilly.
3)loosing weight and sticking to it with no binges
4)staying sober( which I tend to be for the most part)
5) MOST IMPORTANT
GETTING OVER
MY FEAR OF INTIMACY ISSUES
IE. MOT FUNCTIONALITY BUT THINGS I CANNOT CONTROLL AS A MAN THAT I will be judged on
6)completing some of my creative projects so I can have more to talk about and be more interesting.
7) getting things cleaned, ie. My car and keeping it clean