Being labelled gay because he’s weird?

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Way back in 1989 this man I know who has Aspergers was on a boys only holiday (he’s 60 now). My dad told me on the holiday how some women were making fun of him calling him names like “gay” etc...

I was talking to my mom the other night how I thought that was mean of those women to call him gay and she said “they were calling him that because he’s a weirdo that’s why”.

My question is why does being a weirdo make you an easy target for labels like gay? And yes sadly I also have been labelled by men and women alike as gay/weirdo

I just turned 60----and I've been labeled both gay and weird before.

I don't give two craps. I know I'm not gay. My lovers CERTAINLY know that I'm not gay.

It's plain IGNORANCE...Don't pay any attention to those people...

Same with me too. I noticed that it's usually the ugly ducklings who mock others for their sexuality themselves. (I'm not gay but there's nothing wrong with it)

"Are you gay?" They ask and I often want to reply "No, it's just that everyone around me looks and acts like you so I'm rarely chasing the ladies"

Last one who asked me if i was gay as a patronising insult must have weighed 300+ pounds.

My beloved (Aspie) husband when growing-up was said to be gay by a neighbor...According to my husband, the neighbor reached that conclusion, because my husband would do all household chores typically assigned to girls...(Doing this is contrary to many chauvinistic cultures)...My poor husband, unable to understand social norms on this regard, just wanted to please his mother...So, whenever she would arrive from a hard day of work, she would find everything clean, nice, orderly and tidy...

Much later, as an adult, yet again, my beloved husband would be misinterpreted for being gay, because even though he was very solicited by ladies of all age groups, he would not be bragging about his love conquests like the typical NT macho...Plus, the fact that he was a loner did not help...So, judgemental people would begin to suspect that he must be gay, because "he always seems to be alone, and because he does not shares his stories of his success with the ladies"...

Of course, all that is now in the past...Everyone who knew him back in his native land--family, friends, and acquaintances--know that he is married now...And not just that he is married, but that he is happily married to me...

By the way, to date, i benefit greatly of the fact that my husband enjoys doing household chores and that he enjoys cooking...In fact, he studied to be a chef and did that for quite sometime...He is great help to me when he is not working...I know that i am blessed to be married to him who has not an ounce of chauvinism...

Ironically his appearance is really macho--at 190 lbs of lean muscle, 6 ft tall, a beard and a bald head...His appearance is quite intimidating...I failed to see how he could possibly be mistaken for gay...For the record, i should add that my husband has no female mannerisms for which his manhood could be questioned...Still, he was once approached by a gay guy when he was already engaged to marry me...My husband was very respectful as he always is...He told the gay guy to continue on with his journey, because he was not interested...

I don't blame that gay guy...My husband dresses well and carries himself with elegance as most men in his Caribbean culture do...Not to mention his good taste in cologne....

I share all of the above to prove how ignorant and judgemental people can be...As we look back to all this, my husband and i just smile about it...

People call men gay for the slightest faux-pas or non-gender-comforting trait, and in my experience women do it more often than men (labeling a certain man as gay) or at least more vocal about it.

For example (Real concrete examples):
- If you wear a too tight shirt but you're not a hunk = they call you gay.
- If you don't react in a certain manner for seeing a hot girl = they call you gay. (Example, a female acquaintance once told me she suspected her neighbor to be gay because he never ogled at her when she wears short shorts.
- If you whine = they call you gay.
- If you cry = they call you gay.
- If they see you with no girlfriend and single for so long = they call you gay.
- If you see you in company with a real gay guy, even in platonic context = they call you gay.
- Some physical traits, like short and slim guys are also more likely to be suspected as gays by people.

The whole quick gay labeling thing is a side effect of homophobia. Also people often associate effemination with gayness.

I know. I was labeled lesbian and I was just "stone" sexual (ACE umbrella). "Weird" was another, "Strange" too. Now, those I will own. I honestly don't care.

People have nothing better to do than label people who are different. As a misfit, that really cheeses me off.