I'm giving up on finding love

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Not because I can't get a woman to date me or anything, it's just too much for me. I have alot of love for the people I get close too but it makes my mind go haywire and I start questioning every choice I've made in life and doubt I'm worthy of being anyone's partner when there's plenty of other men that aren't a basket case like me. People always convey that I'm bright like I'm in MENSA or something but the knowledge I have is just focused on topics normal people do not have a profound interest in. Hell, I didn't even graduate highschool and the only reason I didn't get held back in middle school was because the teachers and administrators thought I was being abused at home.

Are you ok with giving up or does it feel like a bad thing?

I'm starting to feel like giving up too. I relate to a lot of what you say - I doubt my ability to function as someone's girlfriend and when I have been in a relationship it's either been emotionally distant (as I've needed to switch off) or long distance. I just don't feel I have the capacity to invest in someone long term. For me it feels sad but necessary.

Question to both of you: Do you have platonic friends? If don't have friends currently, have you had good friends in the past?

It seems to me that, for most people at least, a romantic relationship is everything a good friendship is, plus more. Therefore, having a good romantic relationship, without previously having had the experience of good platonic friendship, is a little like trying to learn calculus without previously having learned algebra.

There apparently are some autistic people who have somehow managed to have good romantic relationships without previously having had any close friends, but it seems to me that that would be rare among people in general, autistic or otherwise.

So, if you have not had the experience of good platonic friendship, then perhaps it might be a good idea to focus on that for now, then look for (or at least be more open to) romantic relationships later.

And an excellent way to find friends is via your focus on "topics normal people do not have a profound interest in" -- the weirder, the better. Look for other people who share those interests to an intense degree. These days, thanks to the Internet, it's easier than ever to find such people

For more about this, see my post here.

Mona, yes I have friends and several of them, not a group of friends but various friends scattered about. I meet up with a friend every few weeks or so for a catch up. Long term friendships are something I value and feel important to me to share interests etc.

The problem with dating is the commitment and investment. I'd have to commit to an emotional bond even when I might not feel like it. I have been in relationships before and the only one which worked reasonably well was a long distance relationship. My last relationship had no romantic chemistry whatsoever and not even that many shared interests.

I've met a guy who I share a lot in common with. I'd say we are VERY compatible. But I'm not sure the chemistry is there, or the motivation to meet up regularly and stay in a partnership. I feel kind of trapped.

Sorry to hyjack thread.

It is ok to give up, if this gives you the peace of mind.

OP, how old are you?

viewtopic.php?f=6&t=404497&start=0

I haven't been in love since college. I'm not sure I'm still able.

I think my hobbies and interests are now far more interesting than finding the person who I should spend with. The anxiety of having to live up to other people's expectations are just too much. Everything is always, but why? Why are you like this, why don't you want to do this? Why why why why...

I always given up on finding a guy to love. But I keep forgetting to delete my dating profile. I really can’t handle it right now.

No response from the OP, so I will save my 2 cents for another day if he comes back.