Kind of Lost

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Hey all, I've tried writing this post several times and it becomes a big rambling mess so I'm going to cut to the chase. I work with this person, after spending time around each other we have developed a pretty good banter and work well together. Yes, I know the issues that can come with dating a coworker, but I'm going to quit as soon as I land another job so I'm not concerned about that. We can commiserate about the job, share a good quip and laugh, etc. She has generally been the one putting her foot forward, though we're both pretty reserved. She is the one saying that she appreciates me, making sure I'm ok, and so on. She is noticeably nicer to me than with other coworkers. I feel like she is interested but not very flirty like myself, I kind of worry that I've come off a little cold because I don't deal with, say, compliments well and just go "ok, no problem."

We were working together the other day and getting along really well, now I haven't been able to see her for a couple days due to scheduling but I keep thinking about her. I am attracted to her, obviously, and want to do something about it. But I really have no clue how to initiate a deeper relationship, ask someone out, or even indicate that I am romantically interested. I have her number, we all have each other's number in this job. I was thinking of testing the waters for now and trying to just get to know her better. Start sending friendly, non-work related texts, and then once I have another job lined up say something to the effect of "hey, I'm leaving in a few days, I enjoy spending time with you, how about we get lunch or (whatever) sometime?" I've been attracted to people before but I never do anything because I just don't know how to flirt or anything. Which is for the best, because I was a total mess mental health wise and had no drive in life. After some therapy and a lot of self reflection I am way more stable and am taking steps to improve myself.

A little more context, we're around the same age. We work the same job, as I said. Both of us still live at home. But I think I have a pretty good plan that will get me a solid career in 2-3 years so that should change in the future.

What worked for me is to be very forward with your emotions: tell her exactly how you feel Don't try to be cute by playing stupid games: when people start doing that is where things can get iffy, "Gosh, what did she mean by that?"

DO NOT EFF AROUND! Tell her something like:

"I'm not really sure if you feel the same as I do, but, the more I know you the more attracted I become. I think about you a lot, and when I do, I feel very happy..." this is where you pay her a complement, say something nice and flattering, what do you like about her?

Finally, say something like, "I totally get it if you don't feel the same, but I felt I needed to say something because I like the person you are and it makes me feel good to be around you..."

Does that make sense I hope?

If she turns you down, don't be a poor loser: yeah, it totally sucks when someone doesn't like you the same as you do them, but remember they have feeling too, and hopefully hat's part of the reason you're attracted to them, right?

DIVAIR

Bumping my own thread for an update. We text but only for work. I decided to make a move and texted her a hello and quick question about her pets. We hardly have time to chat at work and I figured I should get to know her a bit better. She answered and then asked why I had asked. I replied that there wasn't a specific reason, I just felt like making conversation. She said: "Fair enough [with a smile emoji] sorry, I'm not too good at conversation outside of work." I replied "it's cool."

I feel like her message was a polite statement of: "Fair enough, sorry, I don't want to talk to you outside of work." So I should probably back off unless she chooses to text back of her own volition. I've sent the signal that I'm cool with non-work texting and I left the last word, so if she's interested she will choose to text again. Because if a girl I liked texted me I probably would try to keep the conversation going. Pretty foolproof logic right? Otherwise she is not interested. I just don't want to make her uncomfortable by pushing it.

Just ask her if you could meet outside work and get a coffee or another beverage then you'll have a clear cut answer.

If she looks like Louise Brooks you should definitely ask her out

You probably should stick to a working relationship with her.

I wouldn’t take it further, if I were you.