Tinder Social Experiment

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I decided to do a little online dating social experiment. I got the best 4 photos that I had of myself and I made a Tinder account. I live in the United States and when I set my location to my hometown, I only got 3 total matches, all of them were obese women who weren't that attractive.


Then I decided to set my location to The Philippines and got 50 matches in 3 days! That's more matches than I ever got in the United States, even after using the app for a couple months. Many of these women were fairly cute too and only a few were overweight. The downside is that at least 8 of them were trannies, and many of them didn't have anything in their bio so it was kind of hard to start a conversation.


I wound up sending a message to 42 of them and so far, 14 of them have responded back which is a 30% response rate. I likely won't continue to message them as I don't want to lead any of them on since I live nowhere near there and can't physically go on a date anyways. But assuming I lived in The Philippines, maybe I could have gotten a date with 1 or 2 of them.


I'm starting to think that The Philippines is a great destination for white guys..

From the stuff you post I'm guessing you're not that fussed about the personality of the women you might date but wouldn't it bother you that these women are likely only interested in you because you're white? Also, I didn't report it because you might not know and I'm not sure if it's specifically against the rules here but the word you used to describe trans women is generally considered to be transphobic so you may want to avoid using it in the future.

Well, that explains what that word was. I wasn't offended so much as baffled, personally. I thought it was trainees misspelled, as in people-in-training, but then I was like "in training for what?" lol! So that's an entirely different argument against using random slang.

In response to the original post, that is an interesting experiment. One of my husbands, Greg, uses Tinder, and he says he never matches with anyone who is both more attractive than me and as intellectually interesting as I am. He says they sometimes are almost as good on one axis, but never on both, so it is never worth his time.

I haven't used Tinder much. It mostly seems like a tool for people who aren't very serious about finding a real partner in life. I found Lytenian through OKCupid back in 2009 though, and we're still together and still very much in love. But I was very committed to the process. I did move nearly 3,000 miles to be with him, and I also spent nearly nine months treating my search for "the one" (back when I thought in monogamous terms) like it was a full-time job. I also invested a lot of time in OKCupid match questions. I think I had answered around 900 at the time that I found him on OKCupid, and he had answered about 1,200, so we knew our high match rating was reliable. It's not very reliable if you both have not answered at least 400 questions.

I have watched a few you tube videos from an American guy who lives in the Philippines
who explains in his video that the Philippines is a great place to get a girl friend (if you are looking for one)
or a great place to get woman asking you out.

Apparently dating a westerner is perceived by some as having the same social status as dating a rock star in the west.
And he said that he didn't consider himself massively attractive, being quiet chubby and bald.
But he said he has no problem attracting woman at all, and in the Philippines, the woman ask the men out rather than wait for the men to ask them out. Which is good for shy men.

Some may consider dating Asian woman from poor countries exploitative. However, not dating woman from a poor country unlikely helps either or perhaps that is also a type of discrimination? And as having ASD certainly doesn't enhance my ability to get employed in a well paying job, nor make western woman cue up to date me...

I guess it's ok for the entire western world to discriminate against me, but not ok for me to date someone from a poorer background than myself, because doing so would be "exploitative"...

If I did date someone from the Philippines, i think i would have to do so in her own country.

As if I married such a girl and brought her back to the island that I live, all the bullies with money
would do all they could to get her into bed in order to intentionally ruin my relationship, as among
some in the west its a type of sport among real a holes of men and there is no shortage of such types.

So... better off stay where the odds are in my favour, i would say, as a poor ASD man, the odds are rarely
in my favour even when i have created the circumstances, in the west there is always someone with more money etc.
Who prey upon those with less (or in some cases, are the reason why some in the west have nothing, as they have made sure that their victims get nothing, even after a life of innovation and hard work, but that's another story)...


As for the Philippines...

From what i have read about the place, apart from the turbulent socio-political/religious environment...
I think that the Philippines looks like a great place to settle.

Nice beaches. English Speaking. Westernised society.
Very pretty petite woman. Christian mostly society.

Compatible with the west. Friendly to westerners especially Americans.

The down side, i think is the political / religious turmoil.
There also are some bad drug problems. Not that I am fussed about drugs these days
but if you are, they do not like drug users and hate dealers.

There was a period a few years ago where the president ordered a death squad to kill drug dealers.
Which was the most extreme treatment i have ever heard of.

Think the drug that was around at the time was really scary though.
I think the rent is cheap and the cost of living low. So worth considering.

I would imagine if you did marry a girl from the Philippines, you would be then able to buy land
perhaps you could build a decent ASD friendly house with a swimming pool near a beach.

Also there are some really good martial arts that come from the Philippines, known for Dan Inosanto.
Knife and stick fighting experts among other things, penjak silat.

Yeah, when I first heard it I thought it would be an affectionate term like how you might call someone called Thomas Tommy.

Maybe the world would be better of without rock stars, etc.

Ang asawa ko ay isang pilipina.  Nag-asawa kami ng higit sa isang kapat-siglo.  Nakilala ko ang kanyang mga kamag-anak, kapwa dito at sa Pilipinas.  Ang aming nag-iisa ay nangangasiwa sa pagtatayo ng aming tirahan doon.  Mayroon ka bang mga katanungan?

^^^Ipinapalagay ko, na nakakuha ka ng isang kapaki-pakinabang na halaga ng pang-usap [at nakasulat] na tagalog sa ilalim ng iyong sinturon. [not an idiomatic translation, obviously]

Hindi naman. Kailangan nilang magsalita sa "Tagalish" bago ko maunawaan ang buong konteksto.

yes. it would.
But the world would be better off with OUT a lot of things in the human race and perhaps one or two things that come from nature.

However, realistically speaking, even if your a super wealthy genius with billions to waste on interesting experiments to make the world a better place (such as Elon Musk) you would still unlikely be able to sort out the entire universes problems in a life time.

So. realistically speaking, you have to live in a world where you do indeed get treated like a 2nd and 3rd class individual. In such a world, especially if you have a disability as a handicap (ASD), you gotta take any advantage that you can as long as your not abusing anyone.

The alternatives are to go without, while the people who have the issue with other people's non criminal business go on about their lives, doing the jobs they do and while being married. While you are single, without a hope in hell of getting a date let alone any thing else, and you grow older and bitter by the day... and whats worse, no one cares,
apart from when they want to be a dick and stick their oar in.

No one has any practical solutions, and only voice an opinion when they want to superimpose their value set over your entire life in order to make your life even harder than it is.

Personally i understand where the original poster is coming from. Fair enough. Life is suffering, especially for those who have to go through life alone, without support, without comfort, without sex etc.

When you are one of these people, there is no one knocking on your door to help you out of your tight spot.
But if you decide to do something to make yourself and your potential partner happy then thats an issue.
Although the same people who have an issue with you being happy are the same people who likely exploit various 3rd world countries around the world for the unethical produce, and who also likely bank with banks who do the banking for arms dealers, and buy products from corporate companies who also are involved in really unethical practices.

But hey, its a trend, like an iphone or something, so that makes it ok....

Personally, being treated as a rock star by beautiful woman sure beats being treated like a piece of crap,
for doing nothing wrong but having ASD or not coming from super wealthy privileged parenting....

Whats the difference between a beautiful girl in the west who drops their nickers quicker than Clint Eastwood draws his pistol when they see duke Ponceby the 5th turn up at the local elite party club for select privileged white men and celebrities....

how are they any different to any beautiful eastern girl who decides to look for a western man because they believe doing so will increase their chances of having a stable income, even if they end up living off benefits, rather than the alternative to living on the streets, begging or being forced into prostitution. Not that all the girls do, but hey, i can see their point.

Such woman, due to their background may be more forgiving when dating someone with a disability such as ASD, compared to woman in western society who may drop you like a stone as soon as another offer comes along, when they realise that your not going to be the big bread winner that they had planned on marrying, so as to secure a stable living from a more prosperous potential husband (sponsor), or as some do, string you along as a pet to exploit and abuse, and play away from home at the same time...

Please don't get me wrong, i don't hate woman and I know that not all woman are so horrible to men.
However, I believe that those who come from wealth, need wealth less, but also often run in certain social circles which us as ASD folk will never get near by, not because we aren't good people, not because we are not honest, but for the other reasons.
many of us do not have the social skills to be a social climber.

My point is when a person has ASD and has problems attracting potential dates in their normal environment,
and no body wants to help (as dating help for people with ASD is rare and often incomplete).

Then why not make your life a bit easier and go somewhere where the dates find you!
I did mention in a previous post that girls could also use this strategy, as in some countries there are either an
excess of men, or circumstances that make western woman an attractive solution to the men's problems, and not
all such men who would get involved with a western woman are bad or lady's men. Some are nice honest decent guys who are also human beings! (like wow they do human beings in countries that aren't included as 1st world)...

So. why not.... find a good sweet heart that you find love with
why not, better than being lonely and rejected for your entire life...

oh just a quick comment about the "trainee's" or "trannies" term.
In the west I have met quiet a few trannies, many of them are for some reason older overweight men,
who weren't born the best looking male specimens in the world. So perhaps Trainee is a better term to call them.
As they still need a lot more training to be convincing.

Don't get me wrong i have nothing against anyone in terms of sexual orientation
i am a blunt asperger though, so i say what i see. Some men just don't make particularly convincing woman.
I have no problem with them dressing up or getting various ops, this is their choice.

Just don't ask me to marry them. As it is my choice to have my own sexual orientation.

On a positive note, many of the Thai and Filippino trans gender woman look as good if not better than their female body at birth counter parts....

Well good luck on your searches for love.... where ever you may look (as long as its legal).

Last edited by madbutnotmad on 07 Apr 2021, 4:23 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Thanks

cool, mayroon akong ilang mga kaibigan na Pilipino sa isla na aking tinitirhan. Napakagandang mga tao nila, napaka mabait at magiliw. Ang ilan ay nagtatrabaho sa lokal na Ospital.

Ang isa, nag-alok na ayusin ako para bumisita sa Pilipinas nang sumunod siyang bumalik.

Sinabi niya na hindi ako magbabayad para sa anumang bagay maliban sa aking flight. Hindi ko ito tinanong sa kanya, ngunit pinahahalagahan ang kanyang pagiging matulungin.

Laging madaling gamiting magkaroon ng isang lokal na kaibigan kapag naglalakbay ka sa anumang kung saan bago. Sa personal, sa palagay ko ang Pilipinas ay mukhang isang talagang kagiliw-giliw na lugar, at isa na marahil ay mas katugma sa kulturang kanluranin kaysa sa iba pang mga bansang Asain. Sa Ingles na iyon ay madalas na sinasalita, at ang Kristiyanismo ay napaka-pangkaraniwan.

Gusto ko rin ang hitsura ng mga beach.

Sa tingin ko ay bibisita ako doon sa mga susunod na taon, marahil makahanap ng isang magandang babae.

Hindi mo alam, sa palagay ko ito ay magiging mas mahusay kaysa sa paghahanap ng isang disenteng batang babae sa materyalistang lipunan na aking tinitirhan (Ang mga tax haven ay puno ng mga taong sakim).

Salamat sa pag-aalok upang sagutin ang mga katanungan. Wala ako sa mo, dahil wala akong pera o pisikal na paraan (mga paghihigpit sa coronavirus) ngunit marahil sa isang taon o dalawang bagay ay posible.

Salamat ulit

Good luck with your search.  Just take the usual precautions, and act as if the fathers of the girls you are dating are sitting right there beside you, because if you send her home crying, the entire family (if not the entire clan) will be angry with you.

Some traditions I have learned (the hard way, sometimes):

When you date a Philippina, you may as well be dating the entire family -- if they like you, you have a new family for life; but if they do not like you, keep smiling, be respectful, and back off.

They will be watching your every move, and they are experts at body language, so never, ever show disappointment or dissatisfaction with anything they say or do.  Never raise your voice in anger.

Never point at someone unless you use your whole hand with an open palm.

Learn to point with your lips. The gesture for calling someone over is a scratching or digging motion with all fingers and your palm down. Quickly lifting your eyebrows while making eye contact can mean "Hello", "Yes", "I agree", or "I am listening" depending on the context.  Take your patos (shoes) off outside, and wear tsinellas (sandals) indoors.

Show respect to the eldest person there (nanay or tatay), even if they do not own the home -- make mano to them by touching the backs of their hands to your forehead. If they offer food*, say "salamat", eat it, and then say "ma sarap" afterward with a smile on your face. Tack the word "po" on the end if the word if addressing the nanay or tatay ("Salamat po! Miraming salamat po!") "Walang amuman" or walang po anuman" is equivalent to "You are welcome", but does not mean the same thing.

"Nanay" is pronounced "NAH-nai", and "Tatai" is pronounced "TAH-tai".

*WARNING: "Dinaguang" is a thick stew made with pork blood and liver. "Balut" is a fertilized duck egg with a half-formed duck inside. These are considered "special" foods by many Philipinos, and most will understand if you politely express reluctance with a smile.

If you ask to meet her family, she and they may get the impression that you are about to propose, so let them do the inviting. If the girl invites you to meet her family, it means she likes you. If her family invites you, they want to check you out. If you ask the girl out, expect some of her siblings to come along -- do not object, and do not act surprised -- so if you want to ask a girl out, expect to pay for at least two more people, as well.

•••

This may seem odd to you at first, but Filipinos tend to put great value on smooth interpersonal relations, family honor, and cultural pride -- do nothing that will compromise these values! If you think you may have said or done something improper, stop and ask someone! If they indicate that you have done something rude, put a horrified expression on your face and apologize profusely! I cannot emphasize this enough.  You must be willing to accept full responsibility for every social infraction, even when you believe it is not your fault. Trust me, a sincere and immediate apology will go a long way toward smoothing things over, especially if the girl you are dating seems to you like she may be "The One".

If you have read anything I have posted about my own childhood, you will understand why I was not at all prepared to be treated as a person and not as an imposition. Being part of a family in which people are nice to you in spite of your aspieness is something really special that you will never, ever want to lose!

Agian, good luck in your search!

Mabuhay na ang Pilipinas!!

I didn't know so many people here know Tagalog!

mee neether.

That's something globally Eastern. I didn't find much differences between Filipino and Middle Eastern, especially the levant, when it come to these things, the only obvious difference that Filipinos are way less conservative when it comes to romance and dating but their women are often as marriage oriented too.

These cultures are tiring for aspies, they tolerate your "aspiness" because you're a foreigner, so they associate any faux pas to this, but if you were native it would be tiring.

A little update but I switched to a different city in The Phillipines and I got 115 matches!

That's crazy!