What does it mean to be romantic?

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That's a myth, according to my husband who's studying science of cognition at a master's level.

I'm awful at being romantic...and I've received far too many "guilt" gifts not to be a little more than wary.


I remember a friend years ago...the guy she was dating left over 150 post-it "I Love You's" scattered in a trail through the house leading to a bouquet of wildflowers while she was at work...totally cheesy, totally sappy...and for that instant I really wished it had happened to me.

Sounds sweet to me.

EDIT: Towards the bottom I started rambling.. Please forgive me.. You can poke fun at me if you wish.

Though my knowledge of Romance if very limited, NT girls often tell me I am very romantic.. If I trust and care about someone I will go out of my way to do something nice for them, be it something they have wished someone would do for them or something just to make them feel appreciated. I am quite adverse to touch from most people but there is a small amount whom I will let hug or cuddle me (No kisses, NO kisses, they overload me and I go away for a very long time), but NT's typically like touch so if they are one of the few I really care about ill hold them in my arms when they are upset and tell them things that I hope make them feel good and how I really care about their happiness. That is what they tell me (especially my willingness to do nice things for them) makes me a romantic person.



I just saw that.. I did something similar once. I found something like it in a book and applied it to a situation of one my of close friendgirls. She cried about it, which confused me. She later explained that it was one of the sweetest gestures anyone had ever done for her and it caught her by surprise and made her so happy she had to cry.

She is still one of my close friends to this day... Never been anything more.. I love her, she is in the top 10 in the order of importance.. they are all loved. She just has never, until this moment, crossed my mind as someone I could be with..

Sorry I rambled. *Embarassed*.

My knowledge of romance is very jaded and cynical. I see it as a little more than prostitution in disguise. Your situation, Rinai, may be a little different, since you gave flowers to a platonic friend (and I see nothing wrong with that), but I'm talking about romance in the context of relationships and courtship. I believe I mentioned this before, earlier in the thread.

Since I already mentioned prostitution, I might as well elaborate. About six months ago, I chose to opt out of all the stress that relationships can cause, and all that romance bullcrap. Instead, I see an escort on average once every two months; that's perfectly enough for my sexual fix, and there's no "romance" required whatsoever, just $200 or so. A typical dinner-and-a-show night usually costs the same amount anyway, along with the need to do everything correctly to impress the girl and the possibility of hearing "I'm not in the mood tonight". With escorts, the mood is created the moment the money lands on the dresser.

But why does "romance" have to end in sex? I mean, if you really love someone, you want to make them happy; if flowers and chocolate or whatever makes him/her happy, then good. Why does there have to be a return? The loved one's happiness should be enough.

In my opinion, if you're just doing the "romantic" stuff to get laid, then it's not romance. It's bribery.

(Edit: I don't see anything wrong with your solution, if you're not concerned about love. I just think that romance shouldn't be based on the purpose of sex.)