Would you change yourself ATLEAST a little for love?

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man_and_djinn
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26 Jul 2007, 4:51 pm

I've come to realize that I do have to change myself to experience love in that sense. Just don't know how or if I want to change at all... though it feels I will soon change my personality in several ways, since it feels I'm almost getting too old to begin with these err, "matters", turning 20 in a couple of months and all, and have never gotten intimate with broads in any way. I have a handful of close friends and many acquaintances, all male though (I'm a guy myself), except for a few broads I know from when I went to school but I never hang out with them or anything, nowadays I only meet girls at friends parties and occasionally at concerts but very rarely. Almost all of my friends have had girlfriends etc. which makes one feel sort of behind. I mean I should have had 1-2 girlfriends by now, and at least one ONS I think, and I can't really tell accurately why things went like this, and it seems so natural for everyone else. Sorry about the emo ramblings lol.



CDHarris
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26 Jul 2007, 5:14 pm

man_and_djinn wrote:
gotten intimate with broads

Hey... have you seen any of those newfangled movies with sound? Those are the future, I tells ya!



man_and_djinn
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27 Jul 2007, 2:21 am

CDHarris wrote:
man_and_djinn wrote:
gotten intimate with broads

Hey... have you seen any of those newfangled movies with sound? Those are the future, I tells ya!


Ehh... I don't get it :oops: Are you talking about pr0n here???



man_and_djinn
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27 Jul 2007, 2:25 am

Oh crap, just found out "broad" can be synonymous to "an easy lay", and even "prostitute". Which is not what I meant of course (just meant "girl" that's all), english isn't my mother tounge though. Whatever



CDHarris
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27 Jul 2007, 9:35 am

No, that's not what I was talking about. I just don't think I've heard anyone use that in real life. I've only heard it in old movies.



calandale
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27 Jul 2007, 2:25 pm

CDHarris wrote:
No, that's not what I was talking about. I just don't think I've heard anyone use that in real life. I've only heard it in old movies.


I've used it in real life. :P



DazzleKitty
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27 Jul 2007, 2:41 pm

I would make small changes such as annoying little habits or little flaws that can be easily changed. However, I wouldn't change a huge part of my personality just so I can satisfy my guy. In relationships, you must accept and like each other for who you are, and even embrace some of the flaws.



Zara
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27 Jul 2007, 3:00 pm

If I had a girlfriend, sure I'd do my best to improve. Life would be worth living then.

Everyone tells me it has to be other way around. I need to improve first, then get a girlfriend.
Problem is, I can't improve without the emotional support of having a girlfriend. Believe me, I've tried. The one time I did have someone like a girlfriend, it empowered me to fix everything in my life. It gave me a reason to get better. Once she left, I just reverted back to my old self.
Without that, I just don't have the drive to improve.



Spot17
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27 Jul 2007, 6:46 pm

There's a difference between learning to compromise and changing yourself for someone: first one is good and necessary, second is bad, very bad. Too many people here seem to think that having a girlfriend/boyfriend will solve all their problems and make life all happy and wonderful. Being in the wrong relationship actually makes things much worse than being alone.

Being in a relationship with someone who wants you to change yourself can be hell on earth. I know, I've been through it. Be yourself and love yourself, Aspie traits and all. Chances are you will eventually find someone who loves you for you. Until then, don't worry so much about the whole relationship thing. Life is about taking what you have and finding happiness with it, not about mourning the things you don't have.



freya918
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29 Jul 2007, 7:42 pm

SpaceCase wrote:
Would you?

I'm still not sure...



-SpaceCase



i highly doubt one could care for me, or even tolerate me, if i didn't try very hard to alter my thoughts/actions/behaviours. i think the most important things i can do are: don't laugh as much, don't talk about my interests unless the other person is interested, don't revisit the same subject, ask lots of questions about the other person's life/hobbies, think long and hard before speaking, make sure the person is done talking before i talk, don't drink/use other substances around people so much, find something to do so that the other person is not bored, participate in their hobbies, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.... of course, this makes me feel somewhat like a "normal" person, so not all of these things are being done so that others will appreciate me.
it's overwhelming, but i am pretty sure it will all pay off someday.



Kilroy
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29 Jul 2007, 7:50 pm

dont be like that or you'll never be happy
I think your probably a great person
you jut don't give yourself credit



Pandora
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30 Jul 2007, 5:09 am

I agree. It's unreasonable for somebody to expect that many changes.


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Break out you Western girls,
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svend_sved
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30 Jul 2007, 2:50 pm

i would change in some things that i say and do, but never in my tastes and likes. people just have to accept me as i am or get out of my face and leave me be. somehow people has a problem with that tough



Pandora
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31 Jul 2007, 4:35 am

svend_sved wrote:
i would change in some things that i say and do, but never in my tastes and likes. people just have to accept me as i am or get out of my face and leave me be. somehow people has a problem with that tough
It would have to be something that I could change and I would also need to be convinced that life would be better if I went to the trouble to make the change. So, I would change some things for love but not who I really am.


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Break out you Western girls,
Someday soon you're gonna rule the world.
Break out you Western girls,
Hold your heads up high.
"Western Girls" - Dragon