Would you date me if I were at my goal weight of 140?

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Lately I’ve been feeling very depressed and insecure about my looks. My long hair is the only thing I like about myself and have a lot of split ends and may have to cut it shorter for health. I want a guy who likes the things I like. I think weighing 140 pounds and having long hair and dark makeup and a cynical, nihilistic view on life are what alternative\goth guys want.

I admit to being vain and superficial and having no real, genuine personality of my own. I’m no a cynical person but I have to fake being cynical to get the guys that I find genuinely attractive and not a freaking athlete or jock.

what's that in kg? also how tall are you?

140 lbs is about 64 kg.

I'm 164 cm tall, and weigh 73 kg at present.

If you're a nice person, ZeroMancer, I'd date you at 64kg, and at 94kg, too.

Most relationships are superficial.

I get the impression you don't have a problem with finding men.
Do you just feel the interaction is unsatisfying because you can't be yourself?

Down, boy. <woof>
I think she is out of our league.

She's certainly out of mine

I'm just talking hypothetically.....

And you are a catch, compared to me.
Nuff said.

I'm 5'3 and that would be 63kg.

Not very attractive qualities. They say being depressed is a big turn -off.
Oh atleast your honest. That is positive trait. It's still not something you want to admit though.

How you pack weight is important as well. Generally speaking, men tend to prefer women who primarily store fat in their lower body as opposed to their upper body; this is called the pear shape. The pear shape is generally considered more attractive than the apple shape, because the pear shape has a prominent waist to hip ratio that men are biologically hard-wired to seek in a woman.








The "fat" woman in the picture is considered fat because of her big arms, her belly, and her big waist which doesn't give her much hips. While the "thick" woman is considered attractive because she has a bigger waist relative to the hips, and primarily stores fat in her lower body as opposed to her upper body like the fat woman does.

So in your weight loss journey, ideally, you should primarily be targeting your arms and shoulders, your waist, and your belly, and try to slim them down. By slimming down your waist and belly, your waist to hip ratio will become more prominent, which is a universal attractive figure if you're a woman.

If someone's interested they probably don't consider you reaching that goal a dealbreaker or not.

That would be a hard “No” to me regardless of weight.

One could be the most beautiful person on this bloody planet and look like the most supreme artwork I wouldn’t date that person if I was paid a fortune for it with those character traits. Vain, superficial, lack of personality and fake are all absolute deal breakers, at least for me.

On the upside, there are plenty of vain, superficial, fake people who aren’t authentic out there who would probably go for that. On the downside, many of them will probably be your average “jocks” who are lacking in the brain department and care for nothing but optics.

I’m a metalhead, not a Goth though. But at least the Goths I have gotten to know during the last 15 years or so aren’t and weren't into fakeness and lack of personality either so I would dare to say that you probably won’t attract these guys you want to attract by not being authentic and fake.

I would not date a woman with a "nihilistic and cynical view of life." I find these sorts of people grindingly boring.

Maybe faking nihilism is in and of itself nihilistic again as it shows a lack of genuine values (what is extremly unattractive in my humble opinion).

I also don't get where the idea that people in subcultures like the here mentioned Goths would all be nihilists or want a nihilistic partner comes from. Most people into alternative culture aren't nihilists. It begs the question whether the OP has actually ever been involved in the goth scene or the metal scene for example at all or whether she's making assumptions based off on stereotypes here.

I used to know a few people who were Goths (before the term Goth was adopted---they were known as "New Wave" or "punk" types back in the late 70s).

I never got along with them. They thought I was too "square," unworthy of their attention. They tended to be cynical and to have a dark view of the world, without much evidence for this.

It's true, though, that there are Goth types who do not reflect the stereotype.

For what (little) it is worth, someone once told me that for a woman of childbearing age, her ideal weight in pounds "should" be twice her height in inches.  So, for a 63-inch (5'3") tall woman, her ideal weight "should" be 126 pounds; and for a woman weighing 140 pound, she "should" be 70 inches (5'10") tall.

Yeah ... I do not believe it, either ...