thinking about asking a girl from work out... need advice

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Wow - This girl seems a lot like me!! ! I am 5'11", have blushing issues , and used to be a single mom. I think you might have a shot with this girl!

I have had a couple of relationships in the past where I've dated guys shorter than me, and it did not bother me. In fact I can honestly say I was head over heels in love with one of them.

I figured I'd always be taller than most guys anyway so I was always open to the idea. As long as the guy treated me like I was beautiful, height never mattered.

I love the idea of asking her to go out with you as repayment. i don't think that's cheezy at all! Flowers are a definite yes

The idea of watching a movie over her house is very considerate since she is a single mom. However, have some back-up ideas, too. The reason I say this is because although she may like you, she may feel unsafe letting a man she doesn't know extremely well into her home. When I was a single mom, I would do everything in my power to make sure my kid was safe at all times. Hopefully, she has babysitters at her disposal!

But don't let that deter you!! ! Other places to go: out to dinner, out to a movie, both, bowling, museums(my personal fave), a comedy club.

What to wear? If you're unsure, kakhis and a polo shirt in beige or navy blue are always safe. Belts always need to match the shoes.

Above all, remember to relax!! Speaking as a retired single mom, she's going to have a blast to be out anywhere

Good luck and keep us updated!! !

What is the rule with two-toned shoes then?

You should not ask her out on a date. You would be much better off keeping your friendship, asking her out for coffee or lunch as a co-worker and nothing else. Keep that mindset. Do not start pondering the dating level. I think aspies are better off developing a solid friendship and waiting for total undeniable signs of romance. I also agree with the warnings others have said about the dangers of dating a co-worker. Those dangers are there for everyone. Do you really want to be a topic of discussion for all your co-workers? It's not easy to be the subject of office gossip. An aspie as the center of attention? Good luck!

Now on to my cautionary tale...

I hit it off with a girl at work big time. She was the nicest person. We had lunch together and helped one another. We became friends and called one another. I was really starting to fall in love with her. Then came the time when I wanted to take it to the next level, and she refused to go out with me. I was hurt, and tried to shrug it off. Time past and I asked her out again, stressing the friendship angle, a "No big deal" thing. She refused. I was completely confused. Then I found out she was dating one of the managers! I was monstrously devastated! He was the complete opposite of me, and it changed the way I thought of her. ("Is she really going out with that selfish capitalist pig?" etc) She acted unattached because he would have been immediately fired for romancing one of his employees. She didn't want to go out with me to prevent rumors and causing jealousy.

It was so not good at all. Anyway, I might not have been so hurt if I had kept a platonic mindset, kept some distance. It was also visibly apparent to others around me that I was depressed over this. I admitted as much to her and she had a "sorry if I mislead you" response. Yes, yes, I'm easily mislead and hurt unfortunately. It was so not good at all.

Hmmmmmmmmm. A 2 toned belt? Maybe no belt and a sweater to cover. It's July, isn't it ...ok.....no belt no shoes?.....one shoe 2 belts?........oh, hell, just go swimming!

Never dip your pen in company ink.

Do not ask her out on a date. Do not accept any sort of repayment. Stop doing things that make her blush.

Tell her you thought a lot about all the things you discussed on your drive, btw tell her it was a nice drive, and tell her you'd like to hang out one night when she's free to continue your conversations. Tell her she can decide where and when. Offer to pay a babysitter because you would love to give her a little break and an adult night out.

Do not use the word date, imply date or imply going out her return favor for the ride.

Stop thinking so much about what you are going to do if you do go out. You can't plan things like that. It has to be a natural, comfortable flow.

Why don't you just say hi to her for a few days, and chat a bit here and there. Then ask "do you want to grab a cup of coffee?". Then, next time, subtly change it to "would you like to grab another cup of coffee sometime...". If she has come with you for coffee twice, it's a Big Thumbs Up.

And Then, and only then, ask her out for, you know, something more nice like lunch, dinner, movie, whatever.

But please, don't do nothing. There are too many lonely aspies out there. If things don't work out, if she's not interested, it is OK, you can come back here and we'll help mend your heart. But please take that chance. Life is too short. If you go ask the 40-somethings, they'll all tell you to just go for it.

And, yes, this advice is coming from an aspie that has been happily married for years to an NT.

You have to believe in yourself.

Yeah, I think go for it but don't rush. Just take things slowly, one day at a time. She sounds very nice.

I'm short (163 cm.) but my older daughter's father was either my height or a little shorter. I don't understand why women have such a big thing about not dating shorter guys. It seems ludicrous to me.