It’s too late

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Since I’m dying I guess I should give up on the dating game. I’m in a messed up situation but I’m hating the fact I failed. They say upon death you realize what you did wrong. So there you go. My body is screwed up so it’s hard to even fantasize about romance or sex. But if I was going to die I would rather be taken care of by a husband. That didn’t happen because I was too foolish in life. But yeah maybe I could try to make an online friend or something.

How old are you and what chronic illness you are suffering from?

I don’t understand why you think you’re dying.

Have you actually been diagnosed with a life-threatening medical illness?

Oh sorry guys I forgot I posted here. No I didn’t get a diagnoses but I know I’ve injured myself and can feel my body is ruined. I think it’s the weirdest thing that people assume a person isn’t dying just because a doctor hasn’t told them yet. My aunt was a nurse for 30 years but she won’t admit she thinks I’m a goner but I can hear in her voice that she knows something. This is quite scary. I wish I had been smarter and taken care of myself and not gone off my medication

But whatever I’m hanging in there. Things are just weird now with what’s left of my life. Nothing but weird. I really screwed myself over in life by doing stupid things and making some poor decisions

its not too late to do self care. Reach out for help and get back on meds, sometimes a meds adjustment is needed to feel your best. You do not have to do this alone, if you ask for help building a better life, there are many tools you can use to build one. Start with self care, find somebody to help you sort some of those painful emotions and figure out how to deal with them, ask you aunt what it is she knows that you don't, tell her you want honest advice and information. Sending best wishes for your struggles to get fewer and less scary. There are so many options today, nobody needs to suffer so much sadness, fear, etc. Please ask others to help you find new and healthier ways to "do life".