Dating a girl who lives far away

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There is a girl that I used to work with, that I really like. Unfortunately, I have now moved 1 1/2 hours away from the area, and when she goes back to school in the fall, she will be even farther away. I sort of liked her when we were working together but I never asked her out because she had a boyfriend at the time, but they have broken up now. Any communication I have with her will have to be online. What advice can you guys give me?

The furthest I've ever dated someone was 4,000 miles. Mind you, it was also the ONLY time I'd dated someone, so I tended to assume that there was something about the sheer geographical distances involved that made it possible.

I can't give you much advice, except the following: sustain the communication. If she e-mails, you reply the moment you can - even if it's a one-liner to say that you're up to your eyeballs in zombies and vampires, and will write something longer the moment you get a chance.

If telephone works for both of you, use it. If you can't afford the necessary plan or don't want to use phones, then buy a cheap webcam and a microphone, then teleconference. Sadly, I don't know of any sites that still have a copy of CU-SeeMe, but there's no shortage of good (free!) software that'll let you communicate securely, privately and reasonably clearly.

Is she going off to college, is that why she's going away? I have to tell you, when females go to college... things change. Big time.

Well, when my girlfriend and I started off there was a 1,200 mile gap between us. Things eventually worked out.

Ed Almos

She's starting her second year of college. She's home for the summer now.

Yes, I'd advise keeping in as much contact as you can and taking the relationship from there. It could work out okay and is worth persevering with.

Distance wrecks things though.

smheath,

I'd say give it a chance, but don't limit yourself. OTOH that part about her going to a far away school and the endless local dating opportunities that will come with it could make things iffy.

In the very best-case scenario things could work out and you might find it possible to move there and find work. Plan B: focus on the local girls

That would be my advice as well. I was in a long-distance relationship with a woman who was 1,200 miles away. It lasted just over three years.

Tim

Furthest distance relationship I have had was over about 400 miles with a girl in Scotland - we lasted two years. My other relationship was over a slightly shorter distance, she was in Derbyshire.

They can work, but they take time, effort and understanding (particularly when a muddle like myself is involved) - something that ultimately ended up lacking from each of the above.

Only if you let it.

I disagree. Without my presence,
I just don't think that I could hold
someone. There is so much more
to being able to reaffirm one's feelings
through all the little gestures, and after
a few months (or worse), just how
valuable those are begins to fade.

Im going to be the bucket of cold water.

Be honest with her now since shes still close, if she tells you that she doesnt think of you as anything
but a friend, wish her well and forget about her. You dont need to spend years of your
life on an unrequited relationship.

If on the other hand she likes you, go to dinner with her and be willing accept the possibility
that this might be a short term/non-serious relationship and tell her that you're willing to accept that.