My ex is going a christmas party am going to

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I meet a Sicilian aspie woman at an aspie social group a few months back. About three months ago our group organised an art exhibition, the pair of exhibited our creations: she here flower arrangements, greeting cards & wedding stationery, and me my paintings and prints. While at the exhibition we talked over coffee about art & her business start up ideas. I asked if we could meet up to talk some more about her start up ideas.

My friends and the staff at my weekly support group when they heard that the two of us where meeting up, were teasing me about it like saying "Oh you going on a date then?" Also "Take it easy and slowly now as the two of you have had crappy relationships in the past."

We meet up in a cafe of a coffee and a chat of our "first date", things when great unit her abusive ex walked pass the window of the cafe. Later while talking she said "the coffee here is crap, do you what to come back to my place for real coffee." So we when back to her's a coffee and out of the blue I kissed her.

Over the space of two months we had many dates (It was my first relationship when I had date dates) going out meals, staying in to watch films ect. Plus a few nights I stayed over (Yes we slept together but no sex!). I was romantic to her by giving her red roses and other gifts, under like the a***holes she been in the pass (plus wasn't like the a***holes I been out with too!)

However, two weeks ago she ended the relationship due to a number of things her not being happy I told my mother that we were seeing each other (she told her's & I cool with it) plus her sensory issues over intimacy and sex, also things from here past. Now I told here I had issues with women ending relationships with me & aftermath of braking up (I'm dealing with it very well so far, so good ) .

The night she broke up with me (I was ok to a point but trying not to get too upset when she given me the "let's be friends" line), it was when she left me that I lost it, my best mate had to take me to the pub to sort me out. A few hours later I log on to facebook to find that she been glotting to her mates that she dumped me & it was the best thing she did & was happy to do so, that pissed me off big time. I had words with her about it then she defriended me so I blocked her.

Now last week, our group had a Christmas craft fair, I was going to go to support her but changed my mind cos' I didn't what to create a public scene with her plus there was a family crisis going on my uncle was ill and my needed me to look after her 14 week old border collie while she visted her sick brother in Ireland.

Now I had a problem, Our groups Christmas party is on Friday, what should I do as it will be the first time I will see my ex face to face after she dumped me?

Last edited by Utnapishtim on 05 Dec 2012, 4:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

I am thinking it might be in the best interest of yourself that you sit this one out. It could get awkward.

I am in the same boat for a meetup here on Saturday. Not sure what to do about it. I haven't spoken to this person in over two weeks.

i didn't read it honestly but i disagree with aspie mike. Don;t let her ruin it for you and dont sit it out bro

Just go, greet her politely if you see her, be civil and don't make a scene about things.

Try to forget the past.

Yes, but at the same time, if she decides to manipulate a reaction out of him, he is going to look like the bad guy. You might want to come up with a strategy to avoid this as well.

The thing is the party is via ticket which you pay for. I can't get a refund as its too late for that now, plus a mate in the group that is friendly with the pair of us, knows whats been going on and he still what me to go.

I tried to get a guess ticket but had no joy as its a sell out!! Tho saying that I know people how live near to the party venue that are for me to pop around to visit them on the night. So I got the option of going for a hour or two then sod off else where.

That sounds like a good exit strategy. If you think you'll be too upset then stay away but if you think you'll be able to handle a short time there, go and see how things go.

It's good that you have another friend there to talk to so you can stay away from your ex. And go easy on the booze, drink + emotion = messy regrets.

Easy say that done, she is a regular at a weekly night time social meetup that I go to, and we both have the same Autism nurse supporting us! Plus a friend of her's is also a friend of my sister's and her next door neighbor is an old school teacher of mine.

Good point plus she might use two of her special interests to wined me up: a male singer (she has an obsessive crush on, once she told me that she loved that singer more that me and whated me to dress like him WTF ) and the mafia!

ColdEyesWarmHeart not much of an issue my end about bevvie now, as I know what the beer is like in that place its nat's piss! If she has a drink then its rings major alarm bells, as I know for a fact that she only drinks when she is in a very bad mood.

Avoid eye contact with her.

Assume she doesn't exist.

This will annoy the s**t out of her~

Its now a moot point, as my ex bumped into me today and asked me back to her place of a coffee and a chat.

I agree. Go. Have a good time. If you see her, ignore her completely - after the stunt she pulled, she doesn't deserve the brain activity of another thought. It'll annoy her and there's a good chance she'll do something stupid to try and get you mad (like sucking face with some random man in front of you.)
Just walk away and ignore the fool completely.



WTF????! !?! Hope she explains her crazy overreaction!

^^^ Friday is the party, now with meeting her today. I know I will be seeing her three times this week!
Today, tomorrow night at the pub we meet for our aspie social meetup and friday at the party. Plus I can't ignore her I fixed here laptop a few weeks back by installing the MATE edition of Linux Mint Maya, she don't have clue how to use it! SO am giving her tech support.

Stress was the reason for her reaction. Theres some hypocrisy on here part. As I was stressed about the spirt up and she has a go about it now I didn't with her. Plus again, we both told people that we going out with first asking the other if it was ok to do so. When she did that I said "Cool, no problem babe don't worry about!" and when I did the same thing she said "How f*****g dare do that without first checking with me first if I approve of you doing so."

Simply I can't f*****g win with her, as today I got from her that she whats me to be her friend by acting like a boyfriend without being her boyfriend.

My slant on this, is that she is very childish. How old is she? 10? To publicly humiliate you on FB, is immature and offensive.

She will be 38 next month, tho in her own words she feels and acts like she is 19!
When she did that I with decorum and tact commented that is was inappropriate and very poorly timed behavior. Tho with the mood I was in when I see thoses comments I feel like telling her to go and f**k herself, I reframed from doing so in order to be diplomatic.