Emotional Regulation

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Hey everyone,

I'll get right to it. For the past few months, I've been talking to a woman around my age online. We've had what we like to call zoom dates via the app every week or so, and not long ago, whilst I was travelling around Turkey (she's Turkish), we met in person for the very first time. The meeting itself went incredibly well, so much that I consider it the best day of my life. There was no awkwardness between us, and she is of course aware of me being on the spectrum, and we both suspect that she is neurodiverse in one form or another too.

However, parting ways was incredibly difficult, especially for me. We've agreed to a long distance relationship with the goal of removing the long distance factor within the next few years. Having experienced what may be the intense feeling of love for the very first time, I was admittedly overwhelmed by the cocktail of emotions I experienced the day of our meeting. So much to the point that on one of our zoom dates after getting back, I came on too strong, and my emotions overwhelmed her a bit too.

This leads me to ask for some advice. How do you all regulate your emotions, especially in the romantic department, and when the overwhelming emotions do inevitably happen, how do you deal with it? Any tips and tricks are much appreciated, and thanks in advance for your help.

Ludovicus

I have little control over my emotions, so I can't be of any help.

I always cried when I had to leave my long distance relationships as it just what it is. It's very sad, but I knew I could skype them as soon as I got home etc. I also look towards the future and how everything was going to play out. I'm a massive dreamer so it really helped.

But let the emotions out, regulate yourself then you can carry on as normal is what I found.

Be open and honest about it, especially beforehand if possible. People will respond a bit more positively when they aren't taken by surprise if you respond intensely to a situation. It might put some people off, but the ones that stick around are the ones you want to stick around.

All 3 of my relationships were long distance & my strong emotions were partly the cause of me screwing my 1st two up. One factor for why I didn't f#ck up my current relationship is that we were able to move in together after about half a year whereas my two previous relationships woulda had to remain mostly long distance for a couple years. Another problem I had with my previous relationships related to strong emotions is that I had bad anxiety & OCD which caused me to be controling & unstable. Getting on mecication for axiety & OCD around the time my 2nd one ended is helping me in my current one. I'm needy & clingy in romantic relationships & it also helps that my current gf kinda is as well. Unfortunetly I don't really have any advice for you