How long do you wait before asking for a second date?

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I had a really nice date with a guy on Saturday. One of those dates that stretches out til 1am because you don't want to go home. He texted yesterday morning to say he had a great time, too. He's kinda awkward (probably also on the spectrum tbh), so I'm not sure how long it's going to take him to ask me again. I was going to message tomorrow, but is that too soon? Do any of you have a good rule of thumb to go by?

The ball is in your court now, he asked you out first time, he did his move so it is your turn to ask him out now.


And before you say « but he is the m -»: Please ditch these stupid gender roles in dating rituals.

Yes I'm planning on asking him, but I don't know if I should give it some time first

This weekend at most.

Immediately.

The longer you take the more likely he will lose hope and move on.

Who arranged the first date and how was it done? (Text?)
Have you already replied to his text from yesterday?

My advice is not to fake anything.
Don't play head games.
If you like him and want to see him again, tell him.
Life's too short for people wondering how long they're supposed to "wait".

I don’t know where you live but don’t let two whole days go by without contacting him. He texted you yesterday morning because you were the first thing on his mind when he woke up.

Text him today. Apologize for not getting back to him yesterday but that things were busy and the day got away from you. Tell him you had a wonderful time and that you would to love to see him again, and let’s make plans.

^ There’s no need to apologize. They’ve only had one date so far.

This.

Netflix and chill. Tonight if possible, although it is Monday but that shouldn't be a showstopper.

Speaking as a man, and as an autistic man, I only recommend apologizing as a way of recognizing she is only getting back to him almost two days later. I’m not talking about prostrating herself before him, but something like “Thank you for you text on Sunday morning. It was so nice to wake up to your kind words. I’m sorry, I meant to get back to you yesterday, but the day got away from me.”

If you think that kind of text is beneath a woman, I don’t know what to say. It is what I would do (and probably did in my online dating years).

I'm a bit confused by the OP's question.

I think she should reply to him and say she had a great time etc., without delay.
I'm just a bit confused whether she's going to ask for another date or she's waiting for him to?

Whose "rule of thumb" are we trying to determine?
Is it hers for saying she had a great time, or his for asking for another date?

He likely won't ask her for another date unless she replies to his Sunday text.
He might think she's blowing him off, and feel rejected.

^^ It’s not about gender.

I just think that there’s no reason why a person has to respond immediately, especially if they’ve only had one date, so there’s no reason to apologize. Keeping things low-key and casual is the way to go IMO.

I don't think the rush is about gender.
She said she had a great time and she wants to see him again.
It's clear he had a great time too.

Why bother waiting around for an arbitrary period of time?
I'm not sure what good that would do.
It seems like head games to me when we try to follow rules.

If you went out on a great date with a guy, and you texted him the first thing next morning to thank him for the wonderful time, and after two days he has not replied, how would you feel, truthfully?

I know because I was on the man’s end of that scenario, with an attractive professional woman in New York City after a great date which she invited me on, and I didn’t respond to her text for two days because I am autistic and was going through the same thought process this young lady is going through, and I heard through our mutual friend she was very disappointed.

I wouldn’t be devastated because it’s only been one date. 2 days isn’t THAT much time.

I’m wary of rushing things and potential love-bombing.

If I were her, I’d probably text him tomorrow, though.