How do you handle a NT Partner?

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I hate my NT boyfriend so much sometimes, he calls me weird, when I'm talking to him on the phone, he zones me out and says that what I'm saying is not important anyways, he makes jokes about how he will get me a helmet for christmas because I always seem to bump my head, he also makes jokes about how hes going to make a room padded for me so I can run into walls all I want. I've never ran into walls, he was simply making a "joke" about how ret*d I act sometimes . Hes just been getting on my nerves, I don't understand him sometimes and it drives me nuts! I still to this day don't understand much sarcasm, don't understand body language, or facial expressions! I also get in horrible fights with him, because I misinterpret what he says, or what he does . He really is an amazing guy, with the most patience I've ever seen!

Anyways I'm taking a vacation with him, just him for a week and I've been doing ok with him for 2 years! Its just this vacation with me, I'm going to be staying with his family whom I've only met once, whom in the first place told him that it wasn't a good idea to date me because I was "handicapped". Also I'm going by plane which I haven't been on in almost 10 years, and I'm going to be in a different state away from my family, so I'm alittle worried. I've never done this before, and I don't know how I'll act with a big change like that, and I don't want to fight with him because when I get angry sometimes I flee , and hes the only person going to be with me. Can anybody give me advice on how to handle a NT/AS relationship? Or give me advice on how to handle this situation from an auties view?

Does thinking of the trip as a job work for you? So you treat it like work and being friendly to his family is part of it and you wait to tell him when you get anxious when you clock out like when you guys are back from the trip?

Hm, yea maybe thats a good way to put it. I'm just afraid, I'll have nowhere to clock out though. Were staying at his familys house!

I would either sit down with him and explicitly say that you do not like it when he does...(fill in the blank). Tell him how it makes you feel. If he truly cares for you, and it seems like he does, then he should take what you say in consideration. If for whatever reason you can't or don't want to tell him in person, then write him a letter. I'm sure he doesn't mean to hurt you.

Thanks, I'll try that, I already explained to him a couple things, so slowly but surely hes trying.. but thanks though!

I never appreciated that kind of cruel humour. It's a shame it's so popular.

Well, if someone who truely loved me joked like that, then I would trust that they were really just joking and thats how I would take it. Sometimes I would laugh even when people are trying to be mean, not because I dont get it but its just the fact that the joke they made in general was funny. Last time something like that happened was in highschool though.
However the zoning out part and saying what you have to say isnt important shows a lack of your personal interest, that kind of.. joking isnt cool at all.
Im just lucky my gf has AS as well, I think we are really compatible Despite everything that happened recently that sent me off the deep end, it turns out everything that happened wasnt her fault! So anyway, good luck on your trip.

I know a few things about how to do this stuff now... but it isn't easy for me.
Still, I'm just as persistant as ever... lol about as determined as 'The Brain' from Pinky and The Brain lol.

Same as with an aspie one. very tenderly if that is the way they wanted it.

you said things have been good for two yrs.... what's to "handle"?

I hate to say it but he sounds like a jerk to me. I've dated a lot of guys who didn't "get it". Now, however, I am married to someone (NT) who not only gets it, but likes and appreciates several of my "aspie" traits. The ones he doesn't he has learned how to help me with (sensory overload, meltdowns, etc). He's great. There are NTs out there that understand. My opinion is you need to keep looking.

my husband jokes with about my clumsiness and forgetfulness all the time too, but i know he loves and accepts me. sounds like your bf does too, afterall he's talking about being with you in the future even if it is in a joke. i think joking about this stuff is just a way for them to say 'i love you and your quirks', and, besides, sometimes running into a wall is funny. my guess is that you are just noticing this stuff more because of your anxiety over the vacation. i hate going places where i can't be in charge of when and where i do stuff - being out of my element is very hard for me, and i bet this trip will be hard for you too.

like CeriseLy said, you just need to explain to him how hard it will be on you and give him hints on how he can help you out. for instance, you may need for him to tell his family that you need regular periods of alone time, and your going away is not a rejection of them, it is just something you have to do and you will come out when you are ready again. you may also want to tell him that this wouldn't be a good week for joking because everything is going to be so new and different that you may not be able to handle these jokes, no matter how innocent he thinks they are. i also like to take some comforting objects from home when i travel so the place where i stay isn't completely foreign (like a pillow case or a stuffed toy).

Hey yea, I know a lot of people tell me to maybe take a break, and I've tried to break up with him, but he wouldn't let me if that makes sense haha. I do really care about him, I know hes joking around, hes that type of person to try to make light of the situation by a corny joke. As for the zoning out part, I hate! I know I ramble I A LOT and repeat a lot stuff I say, but sometimes It is important to me, and when he says that makes me want just never talk again! Yea its been almost 2 years and I am handling it, its just I'm mainly worried about this trip with him, I wondering how I can handle that?

its difficult, things are going good i suppose, but we dont have alot of time together, different sceduals + she wants to go to the bar and to these concerts in town, i want to stay at home or go for a hike, its hard to compromise we are both firm when it comes to stuff we wanna do on weekends, heh..

I would add much more but im just about out of time, but i will add more when i get the chance tomorrow!! I also wanna read what everybody wrote, i usually read b4 i post, but this time i did not but will. I need advice and i bet i can find it within these posts.

It ain't easy - there's sorta strong differences generally... I believe though that an NT/AS relationship has good benefits - there's such an aura of mystery surrounding it lol. It's like 2 aliens from different planets getting together.

Just relax, imrpovise, adapt, and overcome. You have to approach the situation not in preparation, but wing it in these situations.