Where can I meet someone to date?

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It has now been almost 5 years since I last dated someone. I was marderitly lucky on online dating apps between 19-21 but I started gaining weight shortly after turning 22 due to stress which consequently affected my ability to attract a potential partner online. I am 26 years old now and I am more confident in myself and my looks. I am still a little overweight but not as fat as I was at my peak of 223 lbs at 23. I am now 216 lbs with a fair bit of muscle because I do landscaping for a living. My question is where can I meet young women these days? It seems like no one takes online dating seriously anymore. Most girls on dating sites seem to only be on them for attention and not to meet someone to date. I apart of a community group that avacates for freedom and human rights but almost all of the members are over 40. I occasionally attend meetup groups centered around autism but its mostly men at those. I am not the type of person that enjoys loud bars so that is out of the question. The only place that I think I might have a shot at meeting someone is a small coffee shop in my area that also sells books I have been there a couple times and have seen young women in there. Thank you for listening to my ramblings on if you have gotten this far. What do you think I should do? And what has worked for you in the past?

Events like lectures, online gaming sites, forums like WP, bars/pubs, at work, at organized sporting events, clubs, on public transport, etc.

I’m not an ideal guy. I’m just under 5 foot 5, and weighed from about 140-180 lbs in my 20s. I did okay with dating, flings, and a few relationships.

At church.

I am serious. At church.

It depends on what your interests are. My partner is a filmmaker, and this shared interest is what initially brought us together. If I were single, film festivals would be a good place to meet women. For you it might be anything.

Most people meet someone via friendship circles, problem is that most autistics have very few to no friends for obvious reasons. Having an active social life is still the #1 causal way of meeting potential partners.

People tend to have less active social life as they get older too.

I mostly found girls/women to date through my circle of friends, with whom I shared a hobby/special interest with (e.g. skateboarding, graffiti). While these are male dominated activities, there often were some girls/women around watching or even participating. Sometimes they may send their female friend to ask you for your phone number. Also, the female friend of a male friend liked me, so she set me up with other girls without me asking for it.

If you have male friends with female friends, you may also offer to escort them at night, so they don't get harassed by men. Then you have a private conversation with them and they may become interested in you, and ask your friend for your number.

Though I guess that's not the typical way men find someone to date. I guess normally you need to more actively show interest in them, instead of expecting them to ask for your number. But I didn't really try that, except once (and that way got into the only abusive relationship I had).

Getting random strangers you met in public to date you may typically lead to a relationship with a promiscuous woman, if it results in a relationship at all. At least that was my experience once. Then I found sex with people I barely know doesn't work for me.

Another relationship evolved through early social media 20 years ago, with a woman I was regularly chatting with. I'm asexual since then, so I don't know how it would work today. But I'd avoid dating apps like Tinder, unless you are into short lived adventures with promiscuous women. Better start chatting with women who share a hobby with you, without expecting a relationship to evolve out of it. Women who aren't really actively searching for a relationship. Maybe she starts to find you interesting after a while.

join online groups as well as "in person" ones that are interested in the same things that you love the best. I joined a rock hunting group on line and found other rock hunters. eventually some got together and met to hunt together. There are other things like rock shows, rock museums, etc etc that all provide interesting things to do with one or more interesting people of all genders. to make friends, look among those on the edges who are hesitant, standing back a bit and unconnected /not interacting with the others. Make a couple of comments and they will be grateful to be recognized. Any one of them, even if "not for you" may have brothers, sisters, cousins, friends who could turn out to be "the one". Patient exploration of things in common, sharing information and activities about your interest, should help develop closer contacts and build potential for finding a partner. Mean time you have the fun of doing your favorite things with others who share that interest.

I think the solution is for more Autistic NT people to get online pen pals like I did which led to a new romantic relationship

This method of finding love also doesn't require going out into the public!

The biggest issues that I've had were in terms of just meeting women that were single and then trying to figure out which ones were interested rather than being friendly. That's going to vary a bit from place to place, as the number of women and number of men are going to vary by enough to be an issue for some and a benefit for others.

I met my wife through a matchmaker, and it probably would have worked out better with somebody else and if I had a much better idea about what I needed. If I had known at the time that I was autistic, I probably would have just said so and asked for somebody that was either more introverted or who was extroverted, but willing to spend time interacting with people without me to help bridge the gap.

Online dating was also relatively good, but getting a second date was tough, but that also probably would be best to just acknowledge any ASD related needs, even if you don't use any of the ASD related terms in the profile.

I do think that as time goes by and women get from their early 20s into their late 20s and beyond, that they have more reason to appreciate the things that autistic people bring to a relationship in terms of commitment, even if we do screw things up from time to time due to not knowing some of this stuff.