Silly Me

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I have a crush on a friend(wb) and I'm getting mixed signals.

He is not diagnosed. I am ND (ADHD), but also not diagnosing him. What I can say is that he
behaves very similarly to aspies I am close to (similar mannerisms, reaction to derailed plans, focus, stoic/unemotional, same foods, very thoughtful, highly knowledgeable about a few topics, uncomfortable talking about feelings or expressing compassion, often communicates with songs and memes, stims, soothes with music and screen time...). I have never suggested to him that he is ND, however I have shared with him that I am with no response, really.

And so I love this man (ive told him). We are progressively intimate and we can talk for hours and body double and just enjoy our company.

After we have our intimate moments, he gets cold. This is where I usually get warmer and closer, so the difference screws with me. We had a sweet, hot, affectionate weekend and today is valentines day and he is cold again. I asked if his attraction or arousal goes away after our time and he some of his arousal does. I had just sent him a sexy pic, as we do from time to time and it's just like it's nothing. His attraction grows slowly, but loves porn, wrestling, cam girls...

My question is, our friendship has been amazing and I'm not sure (i do wish) this would likely grow into something more, or if we can go back to just the platonic connection. It might be easier for him to compartmentalize.

Can anyone relate? How'd it pan out? Also, this is my first post, but I read the boards on occasion and am grateful for this space.

Have you tried having a talk with him about the nature of your relationship & what each of you would want? Us Aspies tend to be introverted & we also majorly s#ck with & reading others & social situations. Perhaps he would like a serious romantic relationship with you but needs a bit more space & alone time to recharge.

I have. He even brought me flowers this weekend (the first time), so i thought maybe he was leaning my way. Thats a big thing for him and i recognize ways that he expresses care (infodumping, quality time, touch, more attention to things i like).

I think maybe I'm coming on strongly. He likes dominant women and I am that way, however I need consent and clear communication in order to be more assertive. I ask if things are too much or if he needs time.

We went through a period where we sent love songs to one another and that faded, but it was sweet.

We have been friends since 2018, but just grown closer since maybe 2019. We started exploring more intimacy since 2022.